25 Little Things That Make A Man Mind-Blowingly Sexy

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25 Little Things That Make A Man Mind-Blowingly Sexy

It's not about looks.

By Jill Johnston

Had I been asked 30 years ago to make a list of what I found sexy in a man, it would have included things like makes a lot of money, has a great body, drives a nice car.

Every superficial thing television and the movie industry would have subtly ingrained into my mind.

But now, 30 years later, I understand people are messy, lives are messy, divorce is messy. I understand expectations and reality in relationships are rarely on the same page.

I have witnessed society shift between what was once a division between men and women, and, black and white, to now a division between the aware and the unawakened, the spiritually enlightened and the spiritually stalled.
As the lines have blurred and changed, as the messiness of my life peaked and the unnecessariness of it fell away, my list of what I find sexy in a man evolved as well.

The following list has been compiled from the attributes of the men I have worked with and known over the last few years.

Men who are currently in relationships or married and men who have never been married. Men who are newly divorced and not in a relationship and men who have been divorced for a considerable amount of time, date often, but have not remarried or committed to another relationship. As well as, men married for the second or third time.

Here we go

1. Sexy is a man who owns his part of the breakdown of a relationship and marriage.

Who can look his mistakes in the eye and take responsibility for them. Who, even after the break-up or divorce, is still able to treat his ex-partner with respectespecially when the ex-partner is the mother of his children.

2. Sexy is a man who is patient in traffic.

Who doesnt cut others off, thinking he owns the road. Who uses his turn signal. Who is aware of how much gas he has in the tank. Who has mastered the fine art of parallel parking.

Related: Lies Women Tell One Another About Men and Love

3. Sexy is a man who is unashamedly captivated by his children.

Who doesnt see them as mere extensions of himself, but as unique humans with unique souls. Who is mesmerized by their individual personalities and treats them with kind words and gentle touch.

4. Sexy is a man who discreetly overtips a waitress in a crowded restaurant after noticing she isnt wearing a wedding ring, is wearing a necklace in which the names of her three kids are engraved, and has dark circles under her eyes.

5. Sexy is a man who understands the concept of cleanliness.

Who showers daily, brushes his teeth, and wears clean clothes.

6. Sexy is a man who gets tears in his eyes as he watches mine spill over while sharing how horrible my day has been.

Who then looks at me, with his tear-filled eyes and says Im here now. Its okay.

7. Sexy is a man who knows how to cook.

Who knows how to cut a mango, a pineapple, an avocado. Who frosts his childrens birthday cake.

Related: 10 Unusual Things Single Moms Find Sexy In A Man

8. Sexy is a man who asks permission, through spoken and unspoken words, each and every time, before touching me, kissing me, or making love to me.

9. Sexy is a man who trusts me enough to allow me to shave his beard for him.

10. Sexy is a man who is confident enough to look me in the eye while we make love, vulnerable enough to lay his head upon my breast when we are finished, and humble enough to pray for the union of our spirits while lying there.

11. Sexy is the man who recycles… plastic, cardboard, glass, paperwhatever, to help Mother Earth.

12. Sexy is a man who reads books.

Who actually puts down his phone and reads books for both information and fun.

13. Sexy is a man who is considerate enough to make dinner, help with the shopping, take care of the laundry, put the toilet seat down.

14. Sexy is a man who never intentionally diminishes a woman… whether she is his daughter, partner, mother, or otherwise.

Related: Why Intelligence ALWAYS Wins Over A Hot Body

15. Sexy is a man who is strong enough to admit when he doesnt know something, smart enough to Google it, and persistent enough to search to page 7 of Google to figure it out.

16. Sexy is a man who holds my hand during movies.

17. Sexy is a man who is found in the bathroom, elbows deep in the toilet, trying to unplug it so I dont have to.

18. Sexy is a man who respects his mother.

19. Sexy is a man who, when asked if he has been listening, says No, I wasnt, but I am now. May I please have another chance?

20. Sexy is a man who cries after his divorce because he never wanted it in the first place.

21. Sexy is a man who can sit with his fear and pain until all lessons have been learned.

Who can be vulnerable with his truth and honors it always.

22. Sexy is a man who can sit with a woman, in her deep struggle and vulnerability, holding space for her and guarding the perimeters of her being, without trying to fix her.

23. Sexy is a man who can laugh at himself when he messes up.

24. Sexy is a man who has acknowledged his shame, accepted it for what it is, is healing and honoring it for what it was.

25. Sexy is a man who is not concerned about how much money he makes, not obsessed with his physical appearance, and doesnt care what kind of car he drives.

To all the men in my life that helped shape this new, updated list… thank you for being sexy.

This article was originally published at The Good Men Project. Reprinted with permission from the author.