The 100% UNFILTERED Guide To Life With Pierced Nipples

Photo: weheartit
young woman in sheer shirt

You won't find these tips on Google.

When I got my nipples pierced, it was still slightly underrated but on the come up. But, now it seems everyone wants them done. If this is you then I've compiled a list of things you need to know.

And, since I'm positive you've Googled something similar to this a couple dozen times I need you to know that THIS list isn't like every other list that tells you to watch for infections and stuff.

This is a list of the mental preparations you need to make if you decide that you truly want pierced nipples. This is a list to make you think long and hard before you get them. 

My goal is not to scare you but to give you the unfiltered advice that way too many people haven't been told. Plus, there are some tips on how to make the most out of your sexy new boob accessories.

Here we go:

1. Get both boobs done.

Don't be the girl who punks out and only gets one nipple pierced, I will judge you. Why? It looks silly, you knew this would be painful, and b*tch you look silly. I can't stress enough how idiotic you sound when you say that you got one nipple pierced because of the pain.

Seriously, did you not once consider what area of your body this was? It's your nipples for f*cks sake, of course, it's going to hurt.

But, you started this so now you finish it! Your uni-nipple piercing won't ever be cool or cute — it just makes your boobs circus freaks.

2. Flash any and everyone.

Be sure to show all of your girlfriends because I promise it's like your sex life conveniently disappears once you get them pierced. (Why is that?)

Once that happens your nipples piercings won't ever get as much attention as they did the week all your friends found out you went through with them.

Bringing me to the next point...

3. Wear all the sheer sh*t you want.

It took me awhile to get to this level of confidence but I'm hoping that by enforcing this rule you, my dear, will get there faster.

Because who wants to go through the pain of getting needs stuck through your nipples to reserve them for the off chance that you get or keep a significant other. Fuuuuck that!

My nipple rings would end up rubbing against my belly ring if I waited that long for someone to see them.

So without flashing anyone, you know like you did when you got them, I say confidently wear the hell out of those sheer shirts.

Free your damn nipple, this is what they came for.

4. Don't dare to switch your own nipple rings.

Once my nipples healed, I ordered some new rings to go in. That was a mistake. Five minutes after taking it out, I spent 10 unsuccessful minutes trying to push the shiny new one through.

I soon gave up after feeling like I was going to vomit from the pain and tried to just put my original one back in, but it felt like I was re-piercing it. After 30 minutes and a friend coming in the bathroom to push my nipple ring back through, it finally went in. Five years later, I still haven't made the mistake of trying to change my rings. 

While I don't actually know that the hole began to close up, I do know it was hard to navigate without the same equipment your piercer had. So, if you must change your ring go back to the store and have it done.

I promise you'll thank me for sparing you that pain. 

5. Beware of towels and lose threads.

When I first got my nipples done, no one warned me that I should be cautious of loose threads. I learned on my own, after a piece of my towel clung to my nipples and brought me to tears.

And while it never hurts as bad as it does when it's newly pierced, snagging your nipples on clothing will forever be slightly painful. 

This is coming from a person who didn't actually cry or scream while I got the actual piercing and someone who feels that everything after is a far more painful experience than the initial piercing. 

Be warned and maybe air dry and refrain from sweaters, and bras for awhile. 

6. Clean your nipples before foreplay.

Maybe this is just me but to this day I still get a little crust on my nipples. It's not infected. I think it's just my nipples secrete a lot (but who really knows). Whatever, though, if you're like me and experiencing uninfected crust, please clean your nipples.

More importantly, thoroughly clean them before you let someone put a nipple in their mouth. I don't imagine dried nipple crust is an aphrodisiac.