8 Couples Share How Moving In DRASTICALLY Changed Their Sex Lives

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couples share how moving in together changed their sex lives
Love, Sex

And sometimes that change is NOT for the better.

It sounds like a dream: Seeing the person you love every day. Sleeping in the same bed every night.

However, for many couples, it turns out that dream is just a nightmare not yet realized, and things go downhill very, very fast. Your fantasy ending may turn into a very lonely reality. Or, you'll just get so comfortable you'll never have sex again. You decide which is worse.

1. "Chores are rewarded with sex."


"She hated doing dishes, so doing the dishes was rewarded with oral sex. I did a lot of dishes." — Brad, 32

2. "We take each other for granted."

"My boyfriend and I moved in together in April, so we're on month 4 in our Brooklyn one-bedroom. I would say we have sex less than we used to, perhaps because we take each other for granted now that we're together so often. Before, we didn't want to miss an opportunity, since we lived about an hour apart. Now, it's like, 'I'm tired, can we just do it tomorrow?'" — Anonymous, 32

3. "The magic is gone."


"From my previous relationship, I can certainly say that living together, while initially romantic, can offer a serious hindrance to one’s sex life. When you fall into letting some boundaries fall away (i.e., Not keeping certain bodily functions privat.), it becomes harder to find your mate sexually appealing because the level of mystery is gone... too gone.

I also found that much like any roommate, living together adds another level to the relationship, where there is opportunity to be irritated by the other person’s living habits. As a woman, when your mate doesn’t do his chores, laundry, is messy, it lends to feeling like his mother and not his partner. Not sexy." —Sarah, 28

4. "The honeymoon period does end."

"In my experience, moving in together has generally meant sort of a honeymoon period of 'We can do this whenever!/wherever!' excitement, then it just sort of falls off. I don't know if it's a byproduct of the love-chub effect (wherein both parties put on some extra pounds in their blissful togetherness and then neither one is super-into being naked together as much), or that it becomes really something you need to set aside time for like you did when you weren't living together, otherwise you're all just lost in work and laundry and chores and whatever, or some combination of them both." —Lena, 25

5. "We actually have more sex than used to."


Life got pretty busy after I moved in with my boyfriend. Twice before we left bed in the morning, once when he came home from work for lunch, and a few times before falling asleep.” —Nadia, 23

6. "I used to wear matching bra and panties. Now I wear a sloth onesie."

"Before we moved in together, I used to shave my legs before sex. Wear bras and panties that matched. Now, he has to find me sexy in a sloth onesie and other weird stuff that I wear around the house!" —Eden, 30

7. "He asks me (nicely) to wear 'real' clothes instead of gym clothes."


"We definitely have way less sex, but that's OK! Sometimes it's me not wanting it when he wants it, and vice versa. I'm sure it has to do with the fact that I sometimes don't wash my hair for days or shave. I mean, I've gotten so comfortable. He sometimes has to ask me, 'Can you just wear real clothes for once not your gym clothes out?' Those comments indicate that I'm probably less attractive to him in a way, but what you see is what you get." —Anonymous, 34

8. "The sex actually became more passionate."

"It took some of the excitement out of it, as you see each other in the most unromantic ways, which can put a damper on things. However, though the sex may not have had the same heat as it did in the beginning, the sex became more passionate and love-filled. It was a new kind of sex for us and it made us closer. We didn't have it every day, but it became one of many ways to show our love for each other." —Mary, 35