Is This Normal? We Aren't Sexually Compatible

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Sometimes you don't always go together like ramalama ding dong.

I took nine years of ballet lessons, but wasn't allowed to go on full pointe, becase as I heard my teacher whisper to my mom, "She doesn't have the ability." Crushing for an 12-year-old, but not a surprise since I was always hidden in the back row during recitals and my parents described my performance as "enthusiastic."

There were clues.

But, I didn't quit. I just switched to jazz.

This is the pointe (puns!): You don't need to have innate talent to have a good time. Sometimes, with dancing, making a cake, eating said cake, or getting down inbetween the sheets.  It's not about the talent, but the effort.

This week, one of our community members wrote in the Ask YourTango forum: "Me and my wife have been together for 10 years. It has been a wonderful time but recently we have come to a cross roads with sexual intamcy. My wife says that sex really has not felt all that great for most of our relationship and says that most of the time she "fakes" pleasure. She does get pleasure and arousal from oral sex and physical touching, but just the intercourse portion does not seem to provide her with pleasure, which is causing friction in our relationship. Especially now that I am aware of the situation, there is a tension when it comes to sex from her. The thought and desires are there but just not once we get to the point of execution. Can two peoples parts just not "fit" together? or is there a solution that we could use/do to help? I really love my wife and desire her like no other, but physical intamcy in a relationship is important and we need to try and find a resolve for this."

We're not all born porn stars. Most of us just learn through effort. Training. Trial and error and perhaps just switching over to jazz. What I'm saying is, yes, this is normal. So, don't give up, just get frisky and try new things. Talk to your wife and above all, remember that most women don't just O through sex. Sometimes it takes more.

Amirite? What do you think? Is it normal to be sexually incompatible? Would you dump someone if you were incongruous inbetween the sheets?

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