Some Men Have More Love To Give


Hey John, here's my dating question. Seems ridiculous, but…Can a guy like two girls at once? I've been flirting with this guy recently and it seemed like he was flirting back, but all of a sudden he's started dating a different girl. I get that he saw an opportunity with her and took it and it worked out, but now I'm left wondering if I misread all the flirting.

The answer to your question is...


In fact, we do it ALL THE TIME. And so do women (for evidence, please see all romantic stories from A Misummer Night's Dream to Spring Torrents to Here on Earth to Twilight: New Moon).

Not only can we like two girls at once, there's an entire hierarchy involved. We even make lists. If #1 on the list is unavailable, we will go to #2, which certainly does not preclude us going after #3 and #4 at the same time, even if #2 has moved towns, or is at summer camp. We also reserve the right to cancel all other #s should #1 become available.

And then there are X factors:

- Childhood loves (who are not on the list), can take precedence over anyone else on the list, even #1. There is an unquantifiable force that exists between the people we thought were sexy growing up. It is immutable and cannot be vanquished. Full forgiveness shall be granted for any dalliances with Great Expectations  / Dawsons Creek-style childhood loves.

 - Famous people, also not on the list, can take precedence over any number at any time, BUT, they need to be pre-agreed upon. She can't just make out with "John from The Real World, season 20 million," and he can't just smooch any model who comes across his path. They need to be on the list. And actually famous (again, sorry Real World, in fact, sorry all reality television) Otherwise it's cheating.

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In all seriousness, monogamy is a complicated enough concept even before we even bring emotions into it, but it's a no-brainer that guys definitely can and do like more than one girl at the same time. And I don't think it's sexist to say that women generally don't (though they certainly can). It's how we're wired.

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