20 Men, 20 Lessons: A Life In Lovers

love lessons
Love, Self

Do we learn ANYTHING from past relationships? One women reviews her love life, mistakes and all.

With each man who enters my life, I think I'm making a better choice than the last. Yet even though I'm in my 40s, I keep making the same mistakes again and again. When my current relationship started (temporarily) to nosedive, I began wondering if I'd learned anything from my relationships with men. I decided to take inventory. Starting at 17 and continuing until the age of…don't mention it, here's what I've learned.

Rob, age 16 to 28 off and on. That you should not have a relationship with someone who hustles pool for a living—and not only because you will spend too much time knitting in dive bars.

Z'ev, age 17 to 18. That it's possible for the male anatomy to be too big—despite what the adult film industry would have you believe. Wait. Size Matters, After All?

Mitch, age 19. That you should avoid having a relationship with any man who sleeps in the same bed as his 26-year-old sister when she comes to visit. Also, you can have good sex with someone you dislike.

Justin #1, age 20. That (to my horrified surprise and chagrin) there are men who can't get it up.

David, age 21 to 23. That it's just too weird to sleep with two different men in one day.

Chance, age 23. That you should not sleep with a man two days after you meet him just because your dogs like each other. Can A Cat Lover Date A Dog Guy?

Luiz, age 23 to 25. That it's worth being with an all-around prince even if it doesn't last, because a good relationship is always worth it, no matter how or why it ends. (For example, him wanting to bear six children and raise them Catholic in Brazil when you are a Jew who doesn't want children and wants to go back to the United States.) You, Me And God: Interfaith Relationships

Joe Bob, age 26. That mercy sex is a bad idea.

Lorenzo, age 26. That some men will assume you like what their last girlfriends liked. This is their downfall.

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Kevin, age 26. That just because you're sleeping in the same bed and he admits to having a crush on you for the last ten years, he might still be in love with his wife.