Marilyn Monroe Hormone Identified

Love, Self

A group of scientists from the University of Texas think they've pinpointed a hormone that gifts women with an hourglass shape, an aura of attractiveness, and an intense desire to cheat on their boyfriends or husbands.

Well then. What a lethal combination!

Rather than just good, old-fashioned big breasts and narcissism, these researchers actually think a hormone called oestradoil is to blame for the D-cups and bed-hopping.

They've even dubbed oestradoil the "Marilyn Monroe hormone" as they think the screen siren most likely boasted very high-levels.

Marilyn had all the symptoms, they say. A symmetrical face, large breasts, low waist to hip ratio, and a pattern of serial monogamy.  Her relationships always ended in 3-4 years, but Marilyn also had a tendency to trade up in the status department, another behavior associated with oestradoil. She was a bedmate of Arthur Miller, JFK, and Joe DiMaggio.

The University of Texas study swabbed the mouths of 52 women aged 17 to 30 and measured their levels of the hormone. Afterward, each woman filled out a survey rating themselves on attractiveness, and where they stood in the realm of relationships and settling down.

Not surprisingly, the va-va-voom sex pots of the group had the highest levels of oestradoil and "were considered significantly more physically attractive by themselves and others...These women reported somewhat lower levels of satisfaction with and commitment to their primary partners, and a significantly greater likelihood ... of becoming acquainted with new potential mates," as the study in the journal Biology Letters states.

As an added, catty side note, one of the doctors, Dr. Quirk, Associate Professor at James Cook University, said because of these traits, high-oestradoil women "may also be the sort of women that other women don't like too much."

This is just sounding too contrived at this point. While we'd love to roll our eyes at Angelina Jolie and chalk up her banging bod and dicey relationship history to unusually high levels of oestradoil—how then would we explain flat-as-a-board Paris Hilton? Or the unassuming bookish chick who stole away our boyfriend?

Perhaps society conditions curvy and traditionally good-looking women to approach sex differently? It just seems overly simplistic to pin such broad physical and personality traits on an invented hormone.

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But fascinating, nonetheless.