Can Manscaping Go Too Far?


Comedienne Brooke Van Poppelen implores men to think twice before shaving their crotches.

Our friendsters over at Lemondrop (actually comedienne Brooke Van Poppelen) have something they want to say and it boils down to this: "Guys, don't shave your junk."

The video is worth checking out, as is their message board; lots of strong opinions about this one. But here comes the nuts and bolts of the deal: does a dude's business really need shaving? Read: Manscaping The Land Down Under

In a strictly quid pro quo sense of things, the answer is "sure, what's good for the goose is good for the gander." But that little idiom fails to take into account that men and women are different. Double standards have and will always exist. But, periodically, they exist for a reason.

To whit, men are naturally more hirsute (though not necessarily in the vicinity in question). Going from Robin Williams to Dr. Evil, and maintaining it, isn't easy. Creating a clearing (or glen, if you will) in the forest can get out of hand. Do you stop at the boys? Do you plow through no man's land? Do you continue by slashing and burning right on up through the happy trail and beyond? By and large, our culture decided that a woman ought to have hair in two locales (at most), making boundary issues less of a concern. Sure, some percentage of bearded ladies have similar experiences but they're generally outliers.

Next, amorous access. I'll let you use your imagination with this one, but suffice it to say that women can still perform the basics of oral sex on an unkempt groin with next to zero interference. The inverse is not really true. Some guys dig it, some guys don't mind and some guys are seriously averse.

On the other hand (lower abdomen), men are sweating machines. Sweat, like rain, only falls in one direction. And nothing holds the smell of sweat quite like pubic hair. Before we were ashamed of being human, it's said that the underarm and crotch hair maintained our musk as part of our mate selection. These days, though, stank is just stank.

And, for some couples, the rodeo ain't over until the twin boys get kisses and their beards can be scratchy (or popcorn kernel-like, in a bad way). 

Obviously, shaving one's beard is a matter of preference and maybe it's a really considerate thing to do. But a totally sheared region, where hair generally resides, is really weird and sort of reminds me of the crew of the Nebuchadnezzar pulling Keanu Reeves out of his slime pod (The Matrix), and not in a good way. This is from a guy who waxes his back.

Thoughts on full-contact manscaping?