Dating A Smaller Guy

small guy

Both Randy Newman ("Short People") and Gillette ("Short Short Man") have established that it is not easy for a short guy out there. Though one of them was talking about something else, this music has not made it easy for the short man in love.

But what about weighing more than your dude? Our homeys over at College Candy pose this question. With the scourge of manorexia is afflicting up to 0.05% of our boys and obesity seems to be affecting some 31% of America men and women. Eventually, there are going to be a few Judds (think Naomi not Ashley) dating a few Seacrests. The Kinks may have been way ahead of their time with "Lola," "Well I'm not the worlds most physical guy. But when she squeezed me tight she nearly broke my spine."

Why is dating a spritely fellow such a big deal? For the first several thousand years of mankind's existence, things like being physically powerful were critical to, you know, staying alive. Since then life has become considerably easier for puny dudes. About 3,000 years ago a guy with a sling made it known that a little man could defeat a much larger man with a combination of ingenuity and bravado. But that hasn't stopped it from being human nature for big (and strong) to attract the lady-folk. An awful lot of douchebags have used this as the entire basis for their dating lives.

But can't a little guy date a big woman without drawing a lot of stares? Can a Rob Schneider not date a large woman without someone screaming, "that's a huge bitch," when they walk by? What if Miss Piggy had hang-ups and insecurities about being bigger than Kermit? What if the Omega Mu's felt weird about dating the teeny nerds of Adams College's Tri-Lamb chapter? And poor Brooke Hogan is going to have a devil of a time finding anyone to marry if she just sticks with larger men? If she eschews dating wrestlers, she's totally screwed... Seriously, there are a lot of nice-looking Amazons out there who probably wouldn't mind carrying their own little man across the threshold. The Grace Joneses and Bridget Nielsens of this generation deserve some love too.

In summary, just try dating a little guy sometime. It may be a little awkward to shower with him but being the outside spoon will be a breeze.

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Enjoy this Zagat's video of a loving couple in which the wife just happens to outweigh her husband, significantly.