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Here's how to add some lunar magic to your upcoming nuptials.
By Deborah Roth — Last updated on Nov 10, 2022
The moon's powerful lunar energy affects your love life and relationships, which is why paying attention to the moon phase closest to your wedding ceremony can help you harness its moon magic to enhance your big day.
No matter which phase the moon is in the night of your wedding ceremony or in the weeks leading up to the big day, it can have a powerful effect on your relationship and wedding planning activities.
In his classic book, "The Lunation Cycle," modern astrologer Dane Rudhyar outlined the psychological meanings of the phases of the moon.
Modern astrology has always put more emphasis on your Sun sign. When someone asks what zodiac sign you are, they're generally talking about the sign the Sun was in when you were born.
Rudhyar, on the other hand, focused more on the importance of the moon sign in astrology and how your personality might be defined depending on when you were born in the lunar cycle.
Figuring out what moon phase your wedding day falls in and learning what each phrase represents can help you have some fun with that lunar energy.
Two of my favorite things are officiating wedding ceremonies and facilitating women’s moon circles. So, blending the two ideas is natural for me.
But whether you’re as “moon-eyed” as I might be about the possibility of incorporating some lunar magic into your wedding planning or just mildly curious, here are some fun ideas to play with.
The best moon phase wedding rituals for each lunar phase
1. New Moon wedding ritual
Energetically, this moon phase corresponds to growth and new beginnings; your vessels are empty, waiting to be refilled. It’s a great time to make goals and set intentions … such as what you’d like your marriage to look like.
Before your wedding:
- Write your own vows. Write what you love about each other and what you promise to each other. The process of writing them is powerful in itself, and then if you decide to read them during your ceremony, they’re witnessed by all the people that mean the most to you.
- Carve your dreams into a unity candle. If you’ve decided to include a unity candle ritual in your ceremony, take some time beforehand to carve some symbols into the candle and words that represent what you want most for your marriage. A four-inch nail makes a great magical carving tool!
During the ceremony:
Create a "handfasting" ritual. This is a universal custom in cultures worldwide and the origin of the phrase “tying the knot.” As you read your vows, your hands are bound together by a ribbon or scarf to symbolize the commitment you’re making.
In Mexico, a lasso is draped around the couple’s shoulders, and in Filipino ceremonies, it’s a shawl.
It’s a powerful visual representation of your intention to be bound to each other forever.
2. Waxing Moon wedding ritual
If you’re being married during this phase, the idea is to focus on how to expand or grow the intentions that you’ve already declared for your marriage. According to Rudhyar, a "crisis of action" occurs at this time, so use that energy to get things done!
Before your wedding:
- Plant a tree or flowers. Really embrace that “growing” metaphor — you can do your planting anytime after the new moon, ask any gardener and they’ll tell you so! Do it together and make some wishes for your new growth as a couple as you’re planting.
- Renovate your home. Again, you can take the push for expansion literally. Or at the very least, finish those projects that have been lingering so that you’ll come home to a fresh, clean-feeling space after your honeymoon.
During the ceremony:
Enact a sand ceremony. This is when each partner takes turns pouring their favorite-colored sand into a single glass container. The finished product is a multi-layered sand creation, representing how you each blend together to make a more beautiful whole.
3. Full Moon wedding ritual
If you’re able to plan your wedding on a full moon, lucky you! Not only is it beautiful, it’s also the lunar “party time,” when you actually give birth to all the plans you’ve made, nurturing them to perfect realization, i.e. your wedding!
Astrologically, it’s also considered to be the time of greatest vitality and creativity.
Before your wedding:
- Take a "sip and paint" class together — a perfect combination of creativity in a party setting. If you’ve never done it, it’s just what like it sounds like, and definitely fun to do as a couple. You don’t have to be an artist, and if you’re self-conscious about your painting skills, the “sipping” definitely helps you get over that!
- Book some couples’ sessions with a personal trainer. This one taps into the “vitality” energy of the full moon phase. Celebrate your bodies together and get toned for your big day at the same time.
During the ceremony:
Share special food and drink. Capitalizing on the celebratory energy of the full moon, pick your favorite drink (maybe the wine you shared when you got engaged?) and your favorite foods and share them during the ceremony. Your officiant invites you to “drink from the cup of love,” and as you feed each other, to remember to nurture each other in every way.
4. Waning Moon wedding ritual
At this stage, the energy begins to feel more introspective and reflective … not exactly what you may be feeling on your wedding day! But it’s also about “cleaning the slates" and finishing up old business, to regroup and get ready for the exciting journey ahead as a married couple.
Before your wedding:
- Create a letting go ritual. Take some time to create a sacred space together. Turn off your phones, light a candle, play some favorite love songs. Write down all the arguments, issues, old baggage you want to leave behind as you start your new life together. Then burn it and celebrate how unencumbered you feel!
- Clean out your closets and basement. This one is a very tangible letting go of old “stuff,” and always a perfect thing to do during the waning moon phase. Do it together and reminisce about the memories that come us as you clean up, creating space for those DIY projects you want to start when the moon is waxing again.
During the ceremony:
Consider adding a breaking-the-glass ritual. Usually, this tradition is part of Jewish weddings, but its origins are actually unknown. There are many meanings for this ritual, but it can represent a break with the past which clears the way for your marriage to flourish.
Typically, the groom steps on a glass wrapped in a cloth, but some couples chose to both stomp on a glass, symbolizing their equal partnership.
Harnessing the energy of the moon phases is an imperfect science when it comes to weddings because the moon moves so quickly.
It takes just a month for it to pass through all of the zodiac signs (and phases), while the sun takes a whole year.
What that means, for instance, is that if your wedding date falls closest to a full moon, your pre-wedding lunar love magic will draw more on the energy of the waxing moon stage, while you’ll end up tapping into the full moon vibe for your actual wedding ceremony.
The bottom line is to have fun with it all and to know that whatever moon phases you decide to play with can only enhance the excitement of your big day!
Life and relationship coach, Deborah Roth, M.A., is also a counseling astrologer and interfaith minister who leads women’s new moon circles and full moon tele-meditations every month and loves designing creative, meaningful weddings and other rituals for individuals and couples to re-energize mind, body and spirit, and enhance their relationships. You can visit her website or email her to schedule an introductory coaching session.
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