12 Unfortunate Habits That Keep People From Moving Ahead In Life
When nothing changes, people become stuck in the past.
Rocketclips, Inc. | Shutterstock When people are known for their perpetual complaining instead of their humility or brilliance, it indicates that they're much too negative to succeed. But whether it's complaining, holding onto grudges, or blaming themselves for their situation, these are the unfortunate habits that keep people from moving ahead in life.
People who are their own worst enemies remain stuck in the past, hoping that some miracle will come along and rescue them from their misery. Yet life doesn't work that way, and instead of whining about circumstances but making no effort to change, individuals prevent themselves from ever getting to the next level.
Here are 12 unfortunate habits that keep people from moving ahead in life
1. They complain constantly
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Groaning and griping are part of a regular day for constant complainers. If it's not the scorching sun, it's the rainy day that messes up their life. If it's not about traffic, it's the kids and the spouse who messed up their day. They complain about the neighbor's dog and even about their own shadow.
While releasing emotions relieves stress and boosts self-esteem, constant complaining is an energy-suck. Being stuck in the past means never contributing to any solutions because, for every solution, these people have nothing good to say.
2. They thrive on negativity
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One of the very unfortunate habits that keep people from moving ahead in life is being negative on a consistent basis. People who thrive on negativity look for and stir conflict because they don't want to be alone in misery. Peace and constructive engagement are foreign to their lives.
It's not a great thing for negative people, as research from Stanford University indicates that negativity shrinks the hippocampus, which is responsible for learning, memory, and emotions. Negative people derive pleasure when others are frustrated and thrive on having others singing the same chorus and beating the same drum as they do.
3. They bury their head in the sand
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When people are stuck, they reject any information or feedback that challenges their status quo. They may react violently to fair and constructive feedback because they want to stay in their comfort zone. They bury their heads in the sand because that's not what they want to hear.
Perhaps it's an employee with a negative reaction to something in the workplace. Rather than listening to a colleague's suggestions, they may insist that management is to blame. It's instances like this where people would rather embrace a negative impact than look for solutions.
4. They reject opportunities
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People who are stuck in the past and hold themselves back from moving ahead deny opportunities presented to them. It's not because of the opportunities themselves, but because they take issue with who made the suggestion.
They tend to think that opportunities are presented to undermine their "intelligence." These people would rather pretend not to have understood what the opportunity is about so that tomorrow they present it as their own.
5. They refuse to ask for help
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People feeling like they can't get ahead in life might be stuck in self-pity or in fear if they're unable or unwilling to ask for help. No one under the sun is self-sufficient or independent of others, and people who don't ask for help are hurting and won't admit it.
As Barack Obama said, "Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't be afraid to ask for help when you need it... Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength. It shows you have the courage to admit when you don't know something, and then allows you to learn something new."
6. They hold onto grudges or unresolved issues
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Holding grudges, yearning for revenge, and wishing the worst on others are all signs of a lack of forgiveness. Forgiving is not about minimizing the hurt or transgressions visited upon someone, it's about liberation.
But one of the unfortunate habits that keep people from moving ahead in life is continuing to hold onto those grudges. They don't realize that not forgiving themselves or others is like standing on top of a sinking hole slowly nearing their demise. They should instead forgive and let go so they can have traction in their life.
7. They have regrets about the past
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People who can't move ahead in life tend to fixate on what they didn't do, rather than all the accomplishments they've achieved over the years. Because of this, they constantly dwell on past mistakes or missed opportunities and find it difficult to let go.
Additionally, they frequently replay events in their mind, wishing they had done things differently and feeling a sense of disappointment in themselves. As studies, including one published in Nature Neuroscience, have determined, regret negatively impacts the brain, leading to increased activity in the medial orbitofrontal cortex, which is responsible for decision-making and emotional regulation.
8. They frequently reminisce about 'how things used to be'
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Reminiscing about the past and what used to be is another of the unfortunate habits that keep people from moving ahead in life. They tend to live in nostalgia and find themselves longing for the way things used to be. Their mindset isn't focused on the present moment; rather, they dream of a time they can't go back to.
They frequently bring up memories or stories from the past, comparing them to the present and romanticize a time when life seemed better. By thinking this way, they hinder their ability to appreciate where they are now and the opportunities that come with it.
As psychology professor Kevin Bennett explained, "Nostalgia is not inherently harmful — it can evoke warmth and connection. But like any powerful emotion, it requires balance. Cherish the past, but don't let it trap you today or blind you to the possibilities ahead."
9. They find it challenging to adapt to change and prefer things to stay the way they were
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Without change, life can become stagnant and dull, but to people who hinder their own progress, because they're dwelling, they're adverse to any type of change in life, whether it's big or small. They have difficulty adjusting to new circumstances and resist change at every turn.
They prefer things to remain familiar and find it challenging to embrace new technologies, ideas, or ways of doing things. This resistance to change, even the tiniest part of life, for the better, limits their personal growth.
Career and life coach María Tomás-Keegan added that people who embrace change actually have many advantages over others, including having an enlightened perspective, high resilience, stronger values, and more opportunities.
10. They haven't made plans for the future
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While everyone around them has made plans for the near future and far ahead, these people refuse to. Instead of envisioning and working towards a better future for themselves, they're content with staying in their current situation or relying on past achievements.
But if they continue to lack a forward-thinking mindset, their life will not only become stagnant, but unfulfilled. Staying in a scarcity mindset can also affect decision-making, decrease empathy, and even make it more difficult to control impulses.
11. They blame themselves for everything
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Yes, they may complain a lot about anything and everything that goes "wrong," but these people also have a tendency to place blame on themselves for situations outside of their control. They blame themselves for every negative outcome or setback, regardless of the circumstances, and hold onto guilt or regret because of this.
People who hold themselves back in this way have difficulty forgiving themselves for past mistakes, constantly analyzing what they could have done differently. But when they continue to blame themselves, they're essentially paralyzing their progress to become a better person.
12. They feel unmotivated
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People with bad habits that keep them from moving ahead in life are unmotivated, unable to look forward to the next chance to get ahead. They lack drive, enthusiasm, or a sense of purpose in their daily life.
They find it challenging to feel motivated because they're living with the weight of past experiences. And with a lack of motivation, any chance they have of pursuing new interests, personal growth, or exciting opportunities in the present and future go right out the window.
Tex Hlalele is a life coach and inspirational speaker, specializing in body image, change management, self-esteem, forgiveness, stress, and communication issues.
