11 Things People Used To Hide That Are Now Considered Signs Of Intelligence
Internalized shame is hardly ever based in fact.
StratfordProductions | Shutterstock As our culture shifts and evolves, so do the social norms and constructs that regulate our lives — or, at least, try to. From crafting expectations of what personality traits are celebrated, to setting standards for people's behavior, and upholding certain values, our social structure often defines what's considered intelligent and vice versa. That's why it's not entirely surprising that there are certain things people used to hide that are now considered signs of intelligence.
From feeling misunderstood, to shying away from social interactions, and even indulging certain hobbies, many of the things people used to be ashamed of — at work, in school, or around other people — are now things that define a successful person, often with the intelligence, knowledge, and self-awareness that we're all striving to achieve.
Here are 11 things people used to hide that are now considered signs of intelligence
1. Introvertedness
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Introvertedness is one of the things people used to hide that are now considered signs of intelligence. They're deep thinkers, which is why they tend to be more intelligent — spending more time indulging their thoughts, acknowledging their emotions, and processing information in social situations than an extrovert might.
Even in social situations, where introverts are socially perceived to be "shy," being the quiet person in the group, who listens more than they talk, is actually a sign of greater emotional and tangible intelligence. They ask thoughtful questions, make people feel heard in important ways, and cultivate stronger connections by intentionally focusing their energy and attention on the people around them.
2. Preferring alone time
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While many people feel happier and healthier when they socialize more, a study from the British Journal of Psychology argues that highly intelligent people actually feel the opposite — they'd prefer to spend more time alone and with themselves to feel fulfilled.
So, if you've always had a preference for being alone — indulging hobbies, hanging out with yourself, and unpacking your internal thoughts — chances are that's a sign of intelligence, not something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
It's not only important for building emotional regulation skills and self-awareness, but healthy for creativity, brain health, mental health, identity, and self-esteem.
3. Asking lots of questions
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If you were the student constantly raising your hand — annoying a teacher or getting a groan out of peers nearby — to ask questions or riddling your parents with obscure questions about the world, you could be in luck.
Many intelligent people are innately curious. They not only seek out answers to questions, indulge themselves in new interests, and engage with niche hobbies, they actively listen in social interactions and ask deep thoughtful questions. It's part of the reason they tend to thrive in the workplace — along with a sense of self-esteem and self-assuredness — because they make other people feel heard and practice conflict-resolution and critical thinking skills.
You don't have to be the smartest person in the room to ask the best kinds of questions, but being able to thrive in these social settings could be one of the things people used to hide that are now considered signs of intelligence.
4. Saying 'I don't know'
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Admitting that you don't know something is actually a sign of self-assuredness and intelligence. If you're secure enough in yourself to say "I don't know" and also seek out help, support, or advice from others, you're setting yourself up for personal growth.
However, many children grew up feeling ashamed for admitting they didn't know things, taught by teachers and misguided parents that the "not knowing" or making mistakes was actually a sign of failure. That mentality is exactly why this has become one of the things people used to hide that are now considered signs of intelligence.
5. Neurodivergence
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Neurodiversity is largely a modern social movement, intended to promote the acceptance and inclusion of people with neurodiverse disabilities and disorders in society.
While neurodivergent people have experienced ostracization and judgment for straying from neurotypical norms, the truth is that today, more than ever, we need neurodiversity in industries, social movements, and relationships. Not only do they see the world and approach it differently, they have a range of skills, from decision-making to critical thinking, that the average person just can't achieve on their own.
Some experts from Delta Psychology even suggest that "giftedness" or having a high IQ could be considered a version of neurodiversity, as their brains and thought processes work much differently than the average person.
6. Adversity or trauma
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On top of grappling with mental health stigmas that discouraged people from talking about adversity, asking for help, or seeking resources to deal with their unresolved trauma, many people felt ashamed of their past and refused to talk about it.
However, studies, like one from Frontiers in Psychiatry, argue that these experiences in the modern world actually craft resilience in people who have struggled, giving them the insights and skills to flourish later in life.
Even if it's a relatively new societal shift, many people are celebrated for talking openly about their mental health, hardships, and trauma, because many younger people are unraveling stigmas, shame, and societal pressures to suppress these complex emotions and topics. Of course, it's clear that these things set up many people to live smarter, more intentional, productive lives — equipped with tools to care for themselves and thrive.
7. Emotional sensitivity
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According to a study from the Journal of Intelligence, there's certainly a link between emotional intelligence, sensitivity, and general high intelligence. In many cases, people with high intelligence also have the capacity for emotional intelligence — embodying traits like self-awareness and critical thinking skills that allow them to process and acknowledge information, like their emotions, better than the average person.
So, even though being "sensitive," especially prior to unraveling mental health stigmas that discouraged people from being vulnerable and talking about their emotions, might have been something that people used to hide, it's now considered a sign of intelligence that promotes better relationships and personal growth.
8. Reading
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According to a study from Advances in Child Development and Behavior, reading regularly in your routine can bolster a number of important skills and traits that are typically associated with intelligence. So, while a person might have been picked on in school for always retreating to a book or reading instead of socializing constantly, it's actually one of the things that's now associated with intelligence.
From building empathy and social awareness, to growing a person's vocabulary, and giving them a broader worldview and perspective, reading is an incredibly healthy habit that many people overlook.
9. Having niche hobbies
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Being curious enough to try new things, invest time in learning hobbies, and exploring niche things that the average person would overlook is associated with IQ and intelligence, according to a study from the journal Neuron.
Many people who have niche hobbies that add value to their solitude often struggle with internalized shame. Whether they were picked on as kids for certain hobbies — from reading, to playing chess, and even learning languages and exploring different cultures — or simply dealt with internal insecurities, having a niche hobby is actually one of the things people used to hide that are now considered signs of intelligence.
10. Struggling in traditional academic environments
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Many high IQ people or "gifted" individuals struggled in traditional classrooms and academic contexts growing up, which is why it's not surprising that they hold a lot of internalized shame around these experiences. From behavioral problems, to lacking support, perfectionism, and lacking administrative and teaching skills for gifted students, many educational institutions are not equipped to truly support and teach these kids.
According to a study from Personality and Individual Differences, struggling in rigid education systems and classrooms is actually associated with deeper intelligence, creativity, and curiosity — they think differently and probably, more deeply, than the people around them.
11. Making mistakes
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Especially for people who grew up believing that their mistakes were "failures," it's not surprising that this is one of the things people used to hide that are now considered signs of intelligence.
Whether it was in traditional academic contexts, in their social circles, or trying new things, people who frequently make mistakes, learn from others, and grow on a personal level by getting out of their comfort zone are actually more intelligent than the average person.
Like psychologist Kelly McGonigal suggests, making mistakes can actually make you smarter — sparking a growth mindset that starts with being open to trying new things, curiously seeking out knowledge, and being willing to make mistakes for the sake of growing.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
