11 Fancy Ways To Tell Someone They're Boring In A Way They Probably Won't Understand
You don't want to hurt their feelings, but you also want them to know they're a bit dull.
VesnaArt | Shutterstock We've all been there: Trapped in a conversation or interaction with someone that feels as if it's lasting for an eternity. You're running out of energy to keep smiling and nodding, while giving the occasional noncommittal response to make it seem like you're heavily engaged with what they're saying. While you don't want to be outright rude, there are definitely moments in life where you wish you could just look someone in the eyes and tell them that they're boring you. But, of course, that would only hurt their feelings and label you as a mean person.
The art of calling someone boring lies in being able to do it in a way that doesn't sound cruel at all, but gets your point across. There are many fancy ways to tell someone they're boring in a way they probably won't understand, but also won't make them feel bad about themselves. You still want the private satisfaction of finally being able to say the truth about that person's personality, after all. Life is really hard enough without trying to bring other people down, but having a little inside joke with yourself has never hurt anyone.
Here are 11 fancy ways to tell someone they're boring in a way they probably won't understand
1. 'You have such a calming presence'
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
Telling someone that they have a "calming presence" might seem complimentary, which most people might take it to be that way. They think you're letting them know how easy it is to be around them and the fact that they never seem to bring unnecessary drama around. But if you look a bit closer, it's just one of the fancy ways to tell someone they're boring in a way they probably won't understand.
There is, of course, something great about a person who can just exist as a calm energy to be around. According to psychiatrist Carrie Barron, calm individuals usually "succeed because they have backed out enough from the fray to know their own minds and make intelligent choices about living." But for some people, they need a bit more excitement in their lives no matter how good it is to be around that calm individual.
2. 'You're impressively non-distracting'
Juan Pablo Olaya Celis | Shutterstock
For someone who's hearing this phrase, it means the other person is trying to let them know just how unexciting they really are. Nothing about their presence commands any sort of attention, nor do they bring in an exciting energy in the rooms they walk into. Everything about them is just mundanely ordinary, and without even realizing it, they're being overlooked all of the time.
This phrase is just another polite way of letting them know that they might be a bit boring to those around them. There's simply nothing distracting about them at all, especially when it comes to their personality. While you may be able to appreciate their calm nature, you still walk away thinking of how dull they are as well.
3. 'I love how you never get carried away'
GaudiLab | Shutterstock
For people who might not know they're boring, hearing that they're never the type of person who ever gets carried away during conversation can feel as if they're being complimented on their composure. They're someone who never loses their head in any situation, which can be a good thing.
Sure, these people are steady and predictable, but it could also just be another way of saying they never have anything particularly exciting to talk about. As psychologist Susan Krauss Whitbourne pointed out, "Sadly, life is not always made up of fulfilling moments," and that sometimes includes the people we interact with.
Their conversations aren't quite memorable, nor do they keep the attention of the people they're talking to. You're not calling them boring outright, but you're slightly pointing out that they have too much restraint and may need to just let loose. They simply never make things interesting, which can be a bit of a snooze to be around. It's just the same calm tone all of the time, and to you, that doesn't really keep your attention in the slightest.
4. 'You make simplicity look like an art form'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Being compared to an art form can feel like such a flattering comment. The person hearing it might think they have such a refined sense of taste and have this elegance about them that draws people in. They don't need to try hard to be cool or look polished.
But when said to someone that's a bit boring, you're hinting at the fact that they keep everything so put-together that it leaves little for excitement or even surprise. Everything about them is tailored to perfection, and it's almost as if they're just a little bit too perfect.
"At its core, perfectionism represents a compulsive need to appear perfect because anything short of perfection is deemed unacceptable," explained psychiatrist Dimitrios Tsatiris.
Considering many people want to secretly be this prim and proper individual, sometimes the best thing to be is just a little bit messy and real. It means people can see that you aren't perfect at all and they, in turn, will take you more seriously because you actually have something worthwhile and against the grain to say.
5. 'You're marvelously unshaken'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
When telling someone that they seem to remain unshaken in any scenario they're thrust into, it can feel as if they're being praised for how poised they seem to be. Most people would take it as a compliment to their mental strength, but usually it's another of the fancy ways to tell someone they're boring in a way they probably won't understand.
When someone says this, it's to point out where they come across as a bit boring. Nothing ever rattles them or even excites them to react in an unexpected way. They always have some rehearsed line to say in the event of any sort of bump in the road, and they keep their composure even in moments that are begging them to just show a bit of realness.
Their calmness tends to border on plain dullness. Rather than acknowledging the fact that they're extremely boring, you're instead shedding light on the fact that they can remain unshaken. They'll walk away feeling admired when, in reality, you're not complimenting their steady nature at all.
6. 'You're gracefully ordinary'
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
Hearing this phrase might be the kind of thing that can make someone feel good about themselves at first. They might think you're praising them for the fact that they're able to remain humble at all times and are quite steadfast in any room they're in.
Most people simply won't think twice about hearing how "gracefully ordinary" they are, but it might not actually mean what they think. By telling someone this, you're alerting them to the fact that they just don't demand any attention when they walk into a room or talk to people.
Their stories are rarely exciting and often quite predictable because they've told them hundreds and hundreds of times. They're boringly mundane. They're not adventurous, nor do they ever want to step out of their comfort zone because they're good just playing it safe all of the time.
But the problem with playing it safe is that it can end up being detrimental to your own well-being, as licensed clinical psychologist Alissa Jerud pointed out.
7. 'You're very methodical in your presence'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
On the surface, it may seem as if you're admiring this person's careful and deliberate way that they're moving through life. They never take any precautions or step out of line in any way because they want to seem in control all of the time.
However, it's actually not exactly the praise they're wanting to hear. In fact, they're being told that they're not really taking any risks in life to make them seem more memorable. Whether they're talking about the day at work they just had or a recent run-in with their grumpy neighbor, it's never a story about them finally going against the status quo or even speaking their mind. It's usually told with a level of carefulness that's just downright boring and uninteresting to hear.
There's nothing worse in life than trying to be someone who is always in control and doesn't ever just let go and allow things to happen. Clinical psychologist Timothy Carey insisted, "To improve daily living for all, we need to embrace control and address trying. Trying to control is like trying to breathe. Understanding control is the breath of fresh air we need for a more harmonious global future."
8. 'You have such a structured way of existing'
insta_photos | Shutterstock
For people who hear this phrase, they may think that it's a good thing to have such a rigid routine to their lives. But for the people in their lives, it's actually them trying to hint at the fact that all of that structure has left little room for spontaneous and fun moments.
They are the type of people who thrive on knowing exactly what they're doing at all times of the day, which seems to work well for them and their ability to function. However, it means they're lacking the kinds of things that end up making life a bit more fun.
They never do things without thinking them through all of the way, even to their own detriment. Because of this, they end up missing out on moments that can give them fun stories to tell people about down the line. They play life a bit too carefully, and it doesn't end up doing them any favors at all in return.
9. 'You're so wonderfully unhurried'
fizkes | Shutterstock
For people who never rush or make others feel pressured, it might feel good to hear this said to them. They're incredibly patient and keep their composure, which is something they're most likely proud of themselves to be doing. But sometimes they end up moving through life at a pace so steady it can end up feeling slow and boring to other people.
Their energy never seems to change, and their stories never have a moment where you're on the edge of your seat, enraptured by their ability to keep your attention. There's simply no sense of urgency in anything they do. They move at a snail's pace, and while that works for them, it might not necessarily work for the people around them that they're interacting with.
10. 'You're very monochrome'
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Telling someone they're "wonderfully monochrome" implies that they can't seem to ever change. They remain the same in any situation or moment, in what seems like a polished and intentional version of themselves while not really bringing anything engaging to the table.
These are the type of people who can never seem to embrace change at all. As wellness expert Robyne Hanley-Dafoe pointed out, "The power of reinvention is that it challenges us to let go of the familiar and step into something greater."
Instead, they'd rather stay in their little bubble, which, in turn, makes them appear a bit boring. There's nothing shiny and exciting about their personality. Not something that's able to draw people in and keep them there. They're missing color and vibrancy to stick to their monochromatic aesthetic, not realizing that it's become a bit predictable to those around them.
11. 'You're impressively consistent in tone'
fizkes | Shutterstock
These are the types of individuals who rarely surprise or excite the people they are interacting with. Their energy, and even their reactions are perfectly consistent all of the time, to the point where you aren't sure if they have anything new to bring to the table. The ambiguity of this phrase allows for you to get away with calling them boring without them getting offended in the process.
While you may admire their consistency sometimes, it doesn't always end up translating to being around someone that'll keep you on your toes and be entertaining. They're simply not really saying anything that's able to shake the room up a little bit, which may not even be their cup of tea anyway. Despite being a reliable and composed person, they're simply lacking that exciting quality that keeps people engaged.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
