Men With A High Level Of Self-Respect Don’t Tolerate These 11 Behaviors From Anyone
Men who respect themselves refuse to have people in their lives who disturb their peace in any way.
Lezin Konstantin / Shutterstock There's something inherently different about men who carry themselves with actual self-respect. From the way they walk into a room to how they carry themselves during conversations, men like that know their worth and refuse to compromise or make apologies about their boundaries.
Because of this, men with self-respect usually have a strict zero-tolerance policy for certain behaviors, and it truly doesn't matter who you are. When a man actually respects himself, he doesn't have to announce it to every person that he speaks to. His actions will usually do all of the talking on his behalf.
Men with a high level of self-respect don't tolerate these 11 behaviors from anyone
1. Broken promises
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There's nothing worse than someone over-promising only to under-deliver, or who goes back on their word entirely. Men with a high level of self-respect refuse to deal with people who can't understand how important making a promise is. Words carry weight, and these men make sure that if they're telling someone they're going to do something or show up somewhere, they follow through. They know that someone who's constantly breaking promises is probably not the most reliable and refuse to have those people in their lives because of that.
"We’re able to keep our word if we avoid vague language. Indeed, vague promises lead to empty promises and disappointments. The language of a solid commitment comes down to choosing words that guide us rather than leave us hanging," suggested rehabilitation consultant Val Walker.
The problem that men with self-respect have with broken promises is how quickly they start to add up. One missed commitment might not bother them too much, but when it starts happening over and over again, it sends the message that they aren't being respected enough for someone to follow through on their word. And for men who have enough self-respect for themselves, they will not tolerate someone trying to bring the opposite energy into their lives.
2. Taking advantage of their time
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Similar to broken promises, men with a lot of self-respect for themselves can't stand when people choose to waste their time. When people take advantage of their time, whether it's through being consistently flaky or having an endless amount of demands, they tend to take a step back from this type of behavior. Someone who actually respects your time will show up when they say they will, and make sure to communicate if anything changes. They will never leave you waiting.
"The reality is that bosses, colleagues, friends, and romantic partners will, oftentimes, take advantage of commendable, dogged persistence. And with passing time, blind persistence can lead to a weakening of the spirit and a lack of feeling your worth," explained clinical psychologist Jill P. Weber.
When someone feels the complete opposite about wanting to value your time, they'll do all of the things that anger a man with self-respect. For them, it's not about people being late or not knowing how to properly make plans and schedule time, but about people who constantly drain their energy and take away from time that they could be spending doing something more productive.
3. Dishonesty
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For men with a high level of self-respect, they have no place in their lives for people who are constantly acting in a dishonest manner. It's never about the lie itself but the fact that disrespect usually follows someone who can't seem to tell the truth. These men are well aware that honesty is the foundation for any kind of relationship, and without it, the trust and respect will crumble. Being lied to is worse than having to hear and deal with a difficult truth.
"Even if the relationship survives, there’s loss when trust is broken. As with all losses, our first reaction is denial, if not of the facts, then of the severity of the impact. It may take time to accept the truth. Each of us will attribute a different meaning to the facts to heal and make peace with ourselves, our loved ones, and a disordered reality we once thought was safe and predictable," insisted licensed marriage and family therapist Darlene Lancer.
The worst part about dishonesty for them is that they would never do that to someone else. No matter what, these men will make sure they're telling the truth, even if it's hard for them to say. They never want to lead people on or feed them information just because it's what they probably want to hear. But the second that someone doesn't offer them the same courtesy and instead chooses to be dishonest, they'll quickly withdraw their energy and shut these people out.
4. Someone constantly playing the victim
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While it's true that sometimes life will knock people down, there's a big difference between dealing with these moments of struggle versus it becoming your entire personality. Men with high levels of self-respect know the difference and refuse to be around someone or tolerate their behavior when they're constantly painting themselves as the powerless one in anything that goes wrong for them. While these men have the ability to be empathetic when someone is going through a difficult time, and will be a shoulder to cry on if someone needs it, what they won't do is allow someone to play the victim all of the time, especially when they weren't the innocent one at all.
"To stay in the victim stance is akin to staying in bed when it’s cold and rainy outside rather than getting up, getting dressed and getting to the gym. One way certainly is more comfortable and soothing, but adopted as a way of life, it’s like psychological thumb sucking," pointed out clinical psychologist Josh Gressel.
The problem that these men have with constant victimhood is the fact that nothing ever gets fixed as a result of it. Rather than looking at their own actions to see how they can avoid being in that position again, people who always play the victim would rather look for pity and attention rather than accountability. A self-respecting man simply has no time to stay stuck in that loop, especially because it will only end up draining both his energy and time.
5. Silent treatment
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The silent treatment is considered one of the most childish and toxic behaviors that self-respecting men refuse to put up with. It's not the fact that someone is choosing to ice them out and not speak to them, but the intention behind it. Rather than being able to work through issues and communicate, those who practice the silent treatment would rather stoop to that level as a way to punish someone else. Men with high levels of self-respect have no problem walking away to cool off when tensions rise, but they would rather talk about it than attempt to sweep it under the rug.
"Being human, we crave connections that offer us support, care, and recognition. Especially in an intimate relationship, we expect a partner to be there for us in ways that help meet these needs. Silent treatment fails to satisfy these longings and also reflects withholding and emotional abandonment. It is a cutting form of passive aggression," explained psychologist Bernard Golden.
The silent treatment is all about control and manipulation, and ends up creating more conflict than actually resolving it. These men refuse to participate in this push-and-pull game with another person. They will never chase after someone and beg them to open up. Instead, he'll match their silence with distance because he'd rather have people in his life who know how to handle adult disagreements.
6. People who mock their ambition
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When someone laughs at the ideas they have for their future, their goals, and the things they want to accomplish, self-respecting men don't laugh along or find it funny at all. To them, it feels dismissive, and considering they take their goals and dreams seriously, the mockery of these people sends a clear message that they don't appreciate the aspirations they have. These men know that it takes risk and confidence to be able to pursue the things that they truly want.
All of that hard work and dedication that they've put into the things they want are not grounds to be mocked or belittled. He won't allow anyone else's projection of their own insecurities to derail him or make him feel guilty in any way. A man with self-respect can spot this behavior from a mile away, and instead of entertaining it, he'll distance himself to protect both his focus and his goals.
7. Constant criticism
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Men with self-respect are able to handle constructive criticism, especially when it comes from people who only want to see the best for them. However, they refuse to surround themselves with people who can only seem to have something negative to say about how they're living their lives. It's the people who only seem to point out the flaws and highlight the mistakes rather than offering forms of encouragement. Being around people like that can become quite draining for self-respecting men.
While no one is perfect and these men are usually quite open to learning and growing, they also know that growth requires the support of other people, not unrelenting criticism. When someone is constantly tearing them down, it comes to a point where it just stops being helpful and is downright toxic. Rather than attempting to argue back, these men will simply move on and focus on the people who are actually uplifting him rather than trying to dim his light.
8. Disrespect toward their loved ones
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These men are quite protective of their loved ones and won't stand to have someone in their life who finds it unproblematic to disrespect them. While they have a strict attitude about people disrespecting them, it hits a different nerve in their body when their loved ones are the ones on the receiving end. Because self-respecting men are big on loyalty and protection, they extend that to everyone else in their circle.
If someone even thinks about treating their loved ones poorly, it is a direct reflection of their character, and they refuse to have someone like that around them. He also knows that someone who has no problem treating others without respect means they aren't ever going to treat him well either. They would rather act immediately and stand up for the people they care about without an ounce of hesitation.
9. Energy draining
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Men with high levels of self-respect don't have any room in their lives for energy vampires. It's the kind of people that drain you consistently, always have something to complain about, and leave you feeling exhausted after leaving their presence rather than fulfilled. While there are definitely people who have moments where life might be beating them down and they have slight moments of negativity, they're completely different from people who seem to always be living in that state and thrive off of having people around them join their miserable mindset.
According to research published in Psychoanalytic Psychology, the self-absorbed nature of energy vampires is usually hidden behind a friendly demeanor, which makes it difficult to identify them. These people are usually unaware of the impact they have on others, as they are struggling with their own difficulties and emotions.
Spending time with someone who can't seem to pull themselves out from underneath that dark cloud can sometimes end up distracting you from the things that you want to accomplish. Energy vampires just have a way of draining your energy, and a self-respecting man would rather spend time with someone who knows how to uplift him rather than jeopardizing his peace.
10. Being treated like an option
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Self-respecting men know that their presence is valuable and they expect to be treated accordingly. It doesn't mean they're looking to be worshipped, but they don't want to deal with someone who only seems to reach out when it's convenient for them, or who only seems to care when they need something. Because they tend to make sure they're prioritizing other people, they refuse to tolerate others who can't seem to extend that same courtesy to them.
Being put on the back burner repeatedly can make anyone question their worth, but men who have self-respect have no room to let someone else's inconsistency dictate how they should feel about themselves. They know they deserve to be chosen rather than just tolerated. They have no room in their lives to waste their time trying to change someone else's priorities, either.
11. Using their past against them
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Everyone has made mistakes, even men with high levels of self-respect. It's part of being human. But what they won't tolerate is people constantly bringing it up and making them feel bad about having a past. These people try to shame you by bringing up things you might've done wrong in the past, seemingly glossing over the fact that you've managed to turn things around and grow from those past mistakes. Using someone's past against them is something self-respecting men can't seem to wrap their heads around.
It's one thing to be able to take accountability for the things you've done wrong, but it's entirely different to let someone's past define them as the person they are now. By bringing up these old mistakes, he can tell that people are trying to make him doubt his current decisions, but to have learned this much self-respect means he's quite confident in the person he is now. He simply won't allow someone to try and drain him by repeatedly beating a dead horse.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
