11 Things Introverts Hate That Extroverts Do Pretty Much Every Day
What introverts despise, extroverts embrace.
Dulin / Shutterstock Most introverts hate when they have to socialize and do anything that doesn’t fit into the carefully curated plan they have for the day. Extroverts, on the other hand, find pleasure in constant social interaction and embrace spontaneity throughout each of their days.
The differences in opinions between introverts and extroverts regarding certain things primarily stem from how those things make them feel in the midst of the situation. Introverts may find that in most of these settings, they feel uncomfortable and drained, while extroverts feel stimulated and recharged.
These are 11 things introverts hate that extroverts do pretty much every day
1. Excessive small talk
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While introverts can’t stand having to make excessive small talk, extroverts find the act of small talk to be a significant part of their everyday life. Introverts find that small talk quickly drains their social battery, while extroverts feel recharged when they get to indulge in small talk even with people they’ve never talked to before.
“Introverts get their energy internally. When they are exposed to external people, events, and stimuli, they are giving away their energy,” according to Griff Development, a company made up of professional coaches, speakers, and trainers who help their clients reach their fullest potential. When introverts have to waste their energy on something they already dislike, it only makes them dislike it even more.
2. Constant socializing
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Most introverts hate constant socializing, but extroverts thrive off of making it a part of their everyday routine. This hate and love contrast towards socializing all comes down to the way certain individuals react to dopamine.
Introverts tend to have a higher sensitivity to dopamine, while extroverts have a low sensitivity to dopamine, explains Dr. Marti Olsen Laney, an authority on introversion and a psychotherapist. This basically means that it takes more dopamine to make extroverts feel stimulated, therefore causing them to need more socialization to feel happy. Introverts, on the other hand, begin to feel overstimulated when they endure too much socializing because it does not take as much dopamine to make them feel good.
3. Unsolicited advice
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Extroverts will not hesitate to provide their unsolicited advice in most situations, but it is something that introverts tend to hate. The main reason for this contrast is due to opposing feelings towards unsolicited advice.
While extroverts are just trying to fulfill their desire to be helpful and feel useful, introverts view giving uncalled-for advice as potentially coming across as criticism and could overstep someone's personal boundaries. “People who give unsolicited advice do so not because they necessarily care about the receiving audience but because giving advice gives them a sense of control and order,” explains Seth Meyers, a licensed clinical psychologist. So, when extroverts do give unsolicited advice, it is usually more of an attempt to satisfy something within, not because they actually care deeply about the issue.
4. Interrupting
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While most introverts can’t even stand the thought of interrupting, extroverts commonly do this every single day. This difference in feelings towards interruption mainly stems from the contrasting communication styles between introverts and extroverts.
Introverts tend to think before they speak. They carefully curate every little word they wish to say and usually spend time internally reflecting on their thoughts prior to speaking. Extroverts think while they speak. Instead of internally reflecting, they think while the other person is still talking, and they can’t help but blurt out all the ideas that are coming to them.
5. Group decision making
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While group decision-making is usually something that neither introverts nor extroverts can get out of doing every day, introverts hate it, and extroverts find it energizing. Their contrasting views are usually the result of the way they react and feel during group settings.
Introverts often feel hesitant to express their ideas in large groups. Sharing ideas on the spot and having to speak up can make an introvert feel really uncomfortable, which makes it difficult for them to thrive and like group decision-making. Extroverts, however, love an environment where they can collaborate and share their ideas. They feel comfortable speaking to bigger groups and feel very confident articulating their ideas.
6. Spontaneous plans
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Introverts usually despise spontaneous plans, while extroverts find the uncertainty stimulating. These two very different reactions come from the way that these individuals feel while enduring plans that were unexpected.
Introverts need time to prepare for social settings and potential conversations. They need time to fully recharge because they know how overstimulated and drained being around a lot of people will cause them to feel. Extroverts embrace spontaneity because they view it as an opportunity to be stimulated and recharged through socializing with others. They are usually very focused on the present and rarely ever need time to prepare for an outing.
7. Always needing attention
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Most introverted people don’t mind attention to a certain degree, but extroverted people seek it a lot in their day-to-day lives. This all comes down to the difference in how these two kinds of people are energized.
The dopamine reward system differs for introverted and extroverted people. Lots of attention will boost an extrovert's dopamine levels and make them feel energized because extroverts rely on external factors to recharge themselves. Introverts, on the other hand, internally recharge and are quick to be overstimulated with dopamine if they get too much attention, therefore causing them to seek it out less.
8. Expecting quick responses
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The pressure of quick responses is usually something most introverts hate, while extroverts find pleasure in the pressure. The processing differences between these two individual types usually lead to these opposing feelings towards expecting quick responses.
“Because an introvert first weighs and considers things, they need more time to get to an answer. Not because the person is slow, but because it simply works differently,” according to Karolien Koolhof, a certified coach practitioner who coaches introverts. Extroverts participate in external processing, so responding quickly actually helps them process and articulate their ideas.
9. Assuming social norms are universal
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Assuming social norms are universal tends to be something that most introverts hate, while most extroverts make a part of their everyday life. Different cognitive styles are a main contributor to these contrasting views towards social norms being universal.
Extroverts are highly focused on social interaction and the validation they receive from external sources. This causes them to be more inclined to follow certain social norms and adapt to new trends. Introverts question societal norms more because their nervous system does not respond well to what society defines as appealing. It feels unnatural for an introvert to adapt to certain social norms that go against who they are naturally.
10. Assuming quiet means disinterest
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Introverts often dislike it when people assume being quiet means they are disinterested, a common misconception among extroverts. The way introverts and extroverts process social information and energy differs, which is why how they perceive being quiet also differs.
For extroverts, being quiet is usually a sign that they do feel bored or are unhappy. Because this is how they usually feel when they are choosing to be quiet, they, at times, can automatically think that this must be how anyone who is being quiet feels. Introverts are different. They use silence as an opportunity to recharge and process information. “It’s also important to understand that when introverts are with others, they value quietness. Silence is not uncomfortable for introverts; rather, it can be a relief from constant chatter,” explains Griff Development.
11. Over-scheduling
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Introverts typically despise over-scheduling, but most extroverts find it to be the preferred way to keep their days busy and social. Brain processing is the main reason why, to one individual, over-scheduling is a saving grace, and to the other, it's torture.
Introverts will quickly feel burnt out if their day consists of too much social interaction and too much of a busy schedule. Extroverts will thrive off an excessive amount of plans and social interactions because it is what their brains crave to stay energized and happy.
Although introverts and extroverts achieve their energy and happiness differently, they both have a significant amount to offer to social situations and the relationships they build with others. There are definitely perks to being either introverted or extroverted.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
