11 Phrases People Say When They're Mad At You, But Don't Want To Talk About It

When someone is angry at you, they may want to let you know they’re mad without having to explain their reasons. This could be for several reasons. They may be trying to calm down so a productive conversation can take place, or maybe they just want to play a mind game with you.

Either way, you may want to wait it out and let them come to you when they are ready to talk. Waiting for them to be ready is the best way to actually work on resolving the issue.

These are 11 phrases people say when they're mad at you, but don't want to talk about it

1. 'It's whatever'

phrases people say when they’re mad at you but don’t want to talk about it it’s whatever fizkes / Shutterstock

When someone who is mad at you says, “It’s whatever,” there is a good chance that they don’t want to talk about why they are angry at you. Using this passive-aggressive response causes the conversation to be dismissed and allows the person mad at you to withhold their genuine emotions and stay in control of the situation.

Hearing a response like this would likely lead you to believe that the person doesn’t care about your feelings, and the initial conflict can develop into something deeper if you feel they aren’t respecting your emotions, all because they are mad at you. Instead, when someone is angry, they should actively engage in a conversation that gets to the root of the conflict and aims to resolve the issue.

2. 'I'm fine'

phrases people say when they’re mad at you but don’t want to talk about it I’m fine fast-stock / Shutterstock

Sometimes, when someone is mad at you, they will say that they are fine even though they are not. They may do this to keep themselves from needing to be vulnerable and to protect their emotions from being even more invested than they already are in the conflict.

They may feel that it is difficult to share the way they actually feel because it could open the door to more conflict that they would rather avoid. They avoid and choose to protect their emotions instead of having to deal with the pain that could result from more anger occurring. However, this is not a way to grow healthy relationships. Conflict and open discussion that is handled maturely has the ability to make a relationship stronger and set boundaries that are healthy, explains Kathryn Ely, a licensed professional counselor.

3. 'I'm not in the mood'

phrases people say when they’re mad at you but don’t want to talk about it I’m not in the mood fizkes / Shutterstock

When a person who is angry with you tells you they aren’t in the mood, they may not be ready to talk about the conflict for several reasons. The confrontation could be making them feel overwhelmed, and they would rather have time to process their feelings before they are ready to have a conversation about why they are mad at you.

If this is how the person is currently feeling, your response to their lack of wanting to address the issue right away needs to be understanding. Instead of pushing at the topic when they aren’t ready, revisit the topic at a later time when their emotions have had time to cool off, according to Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., a parent coach and psychologist.

4. 'Do whatever you want'

phrases people say when they’re mad at you but don’t want to talk about it do whatever you want simona pilolla 2 / Shutterstock

When someone is angry at you and they tell you to do whatever you want instead of talking about the issue, they don’t actually want you to do whatever. They are just aiming to avoid confrontation. Out of their potential fear of being vulnerable, they will choose to respond this way as a form of emotional stonewalling.

“Stonewalling is a way of intentionally or unintentionally, verbally or nonverbally withdrawing from a conflict,” explains Cleveland Clinic. While many times an individual will use this as more of a defense mechanism to protect their emotions, it can be detrimental to a relationship. If they won’t talk to you about why they are angry and they get defensive, try coming back to the conflict when emotions have calmed down.

5. 'I guess we're done talking'

phrases people say when they’re mad at you but don’t want to talk about it I guess we’re done talking fizkes / Shutterstock

Although a person who is angry with you may not want to discuss the conflict, they may want to see that it impacts you through your efforts to talk about it. If this is the case, they may say something like “I guess we’re done talking” if it seems like you are trying to end the conversation.

This tactic can be extremely manipulative and confusing because it leaves you unsure of what your next move should be. It is important to realize that their emotions are likely heightened, and out of anger, they may not be responding in the best manner. You should allow them time to process their feelings so that both of you can have a mature conversation that is more likely to resolve conflict rather than add to it.

6. 'I'll just keep it to myself'

phrases people say when they’re mad at you but don’t want to talk about it I’ll just keep it to myself fizkes / Shutterstock

When some people get angry, they feel like they have to suppress their feelings to try and minimize confrontation and keep the peace in the relationship. “Anger can be suppressed and then converted or redirected. This happens when you hold in your anger, stop thinking about it, and focus on something positive,” according to the American Psychological Association.

While focusing on something positive may seem like a good way of managing anger, it is not healthy for them to feel a need to bottle up emotions, and it could lead to serious mental health struggles. You should aim to create a safe environment where they know they can talk to you about anything, especially things that make them angry.

7. 'Nothing, never mind'

phrases people say when they’re mad at you but don’t want to talk about it nothing never mind PeopleImages / Shutterstock

If someone is mad at you and they say “nothing, never mind” when you try to bring the topic up to them, it is a passive-aggressive tactic that they're using instead of wanting to talk about it with you. Responding in this way is still them expressing the anger they are feeling, it is just in a less direct way, and usually leads to the silent treatment.

“Simply put, the silent treatment is the act of withholding communication,” according to Cleveland Clinic. They will say this so that they can withhold from you why they are actually mad, but still let you know that they are bad about something.

8. 'I'll just let it go'

phrases people say when they’re mad at you but don’t want to talk about it I’ll just let it go Nicoleta Ionescu / Shutterstock

In an attempt to cool down when a situation is causing them anger, a person who is mad at you and doesn’t want to talk about it will likely say that they will just let whatever it is go. When their emotions become overwhelming, instead of acting out because of them, they may choose to relax without acting on emotional impulse.

In order to process their feelings and come back at a later time so that a productive conversation can take place, they will step away for a second. This technique for managing their anger and regulating their emotions is actually beneficial to the relationship because it keeps them from taking unnecessary anger out on you.

9. 'I don't need to explain myself'

phrases people say when they’re mad at you but don’t want to talk about it I don’t need to explain myself Prostock-studio / Shutterstock

Sometimes, out of a fear of communication or a need to punish you for their anger, a person will not want to talk about what made them angry and not want to explain why it made them angry. This shows that they may not be handling their emotions well.

They may fear communicating because it would require them to be vulnerable about the things that bother them. Similarly, to keep from being vulnerable and maintain control of the situation, they may stonewall and force you to keep asking them for answers.

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10. 'You wouldn't understand'

phrases people say when they’re mad at you but don’t want to talk about it you wouldn’t understand PeopleImages / Shutterstock

When someone is mad at you and doesn’t wish to talk about it, they will likely tell you that you don’t understand them or why they are feeling the way that they do. They may say something like this for several reasons.

One main reason is that they feel a fear of judgment or vulnerability. They may not believe that you can truly comprehend the way that they are feeling, and instead of having to feel the pain that could come from your reaction, they would rather brush it off by saying you wouldn’t understand.

11. 'I don't feel like arguing'

phrases people say when they’re mad at you but don’t want to talk about it I don’t feel like arguing syedfahadghazanfar / Shutterstock

If someone is mad at you and they get to the point where they no longer want to talk about it, they would most likely say that they don’t feel like arguing with you about why they are mad. This is because they need time to calm down, or they’ve noticed that the conversation is no longer productive.

If someone is mad at you and they choose to say any of these things instead of talking to you about the issue, it is important to realize that it may be their way of trying to calm down so a productive conversation can occur. It is best to let the person cool off and wait for them to come to you when they are ready to talk about their feelings.

Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.