11 Behaviors That Indicate Someone Is Emotionally Broken, According To Psychology
They may be screaming out for help in subtle ways.
stockfour | Shutterstock Even for people that don't have a history of mental health concerns, emotional distress — sometimes coined as "an emotional breakdown" or feeling "emotionally broken" — can happen in the face of chronic stress, trauma, or even a toxic relationship. While it may manifest in a variety of diverse ways depending on the person, emotional distress tends to mirror the symptoms of depression and anxiety, according to psychiatrist Andy Watkins-McCall.
So, how do you handle this overwhelming emotional turmoil and cope with the symptoms it sparks? The first key to healing is acknowledging when and why you're feeling distressed. Many of the behaviors that indicate someone is emotionally broken, according to psychology experts, are subtle, but by recognizing their roots, you can move forward. Nobody is "broken" — they just need the support, tools, and knowledge to address their struggles.
Here are 11 behaviors that indicate someone is emotionally broken, according to psychology
1. They struggle with daily tasks
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Whether it's keeping their living space clean, showing up to work everyday, or even opening their mail, struggling with daily tasks is one of the behaviors that indicate someone is emotionally broken, according to psychology. Whether it's chronic stress and anxiety from work or a toxic relationship that's draining their energy, even the most simple tasks can feel overwhelming.
Emotional dysregulation — not being able to control emotional responses and dealing with overwhelming inner turmoil — can feel exhausting, especially for people without healthy coping mechanisms. Even when they're not actively engaging in a stressful task, it's not uncommon for emotionally dysregulated people to feel drained and fatigued, keeping them from sticking to healthy habits or a regular routine.
2. They isolate themselves
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According to a study from General Psychiatry, self-isolation is often a coping mechanism people struggling with emotional overwhelm use to grapple with their internal discomfort. However, at the same time, it's that same isolation and avoidance that deepens their struggles, putting them in a cycle that lacks the social interaction and support that they're internally yearning for.
It's one of the behaviors that indicate someone is emotionally broken, according to psychology, because regardless of their internal struggles and conflict, they feel as though they don't have the means to communicate it, seek help, or garner support from others.
3. They have disproportionate reactions
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Whether it's feeling a sense of emotional numbness in the face of extreme stress and trauma or "overreacting" to seemingly small and subtle things, many people experiencing emotional dysregulation and distress display disproportionate reactions.
According to psychotherapist Ilene Strauss Cohen, overreactions tend to be rooted in trauma and triggers — the emotions these people suppress with isolation and avoidance have to find a way to get out eventually, sometimes in the most uncomfortable and strange moments.
4. They self-sabotage
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When people struggle with emotional distress and dysregulation, it's not uncommon for them to also fall into negative spirals of thinking, letting their inner critic shine. Regularly isolating themselves from social interactions and speaking negatively to themselves, it's their self-esteem and self-worth that takes the biggest hit.
According to licensed social worker Joslyn Jelinek, self-sabotaging behaviors — like avoiding things you know are healthy and isolating yourself from opportunity — are fueled by low self-esteem and anxiety, which is why they tend to be some of the behaviors that indicate someone is emotionally broken, according to psychology.
5. They seek validation
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According to mental health coach Darius Cikanavicius, people who struggle with self-esteem — sometimes as a result of emotional turmoil or trauma — tend to also struggle with internally motivating and reassuring themselves. Whether they're making a decision or chasing a goal, they're always yearning for other people's approval, validation, and attention, rather than providing that security for themselves internally.
When a person feels emotionally broken inside, they may also rush to seek this validation from others to feel more grounded and secure, even at the expense of their relationships and connections.
6. They avoid vulnerability
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Even though expressing emotions, naming your struggles, and finding support is often the key to overcoming emotional distress, many people in the thick of dysregulation find it easier to simply avoid vulnerability and social interactions.
It's not just a method of self-sabotage for healing, it's also a means to seek comfort. It's less anxiety-inducing and scary to be alone and quiet about what's going on internally than breaking open a can of worms by asking for help.
Of course, the key to overcoming these struggles is to acknowledge them, whether you're doing that in private for yourself or with others, no matter how uncomfortable or difficult it is.
7. They're constantly busy
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While some people use distractions like mindless entertainment and social interaction to cope with internal emotional turmoil, it's also possible that the person struggling in your life is using work to cope. By filling their schedule to the brim, taking on extra projects, and working long hours, they don't have to sit with the uncomfortable emotions burdening their lives.
Of course, this tendency not only pushes people closer to burnout and all the unfavorable symptoms that come with it, it negatively affects a person's self-esteem, mental health, and physical well-being. If you're never able to regulate your own emotions or adopt solitude in the place of distraction, you put yourself at risk for starting a cycle of emotional distress every time life gets hard.
8. They never ask for help
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On top of isolating themselves and self-sabotaging healthy things in their lives, one of the behaviors that indicate someone is emotionally broken, according to psychology experts, is never asking for help or support.
According to a study from Psychological Science, people are much happier and more connected when they ask for and receive help from others, so even if it feels initially uncomfortable, it's worth it in the end.
If you notice someone in your life is struggling, but not asking for help, be intentional about opening yourself up and crafting a safe space. Even if that means doing things for them without being asked or starting a vulnerable conversation in a healthy manner, sometimes all people need to start the process of healing is a helping hand or a shoulder to cry on.
9. They people-please
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People who try to "keep the peace" in social situations and avoid addressing their own struggles to protect others from discomfort are generally struggling with internal emotional turmoil. They'd prefer to avoid making other people uncomfortable with their emotions, even if that means putting their own well-being at risk.
Sometimes, it's easier to ignore complex emotions and needs for the sake of others, especially as an empath, but it only amplifies and deepens the emotional distress happening inside.
10. They use humor to cope
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According to a study published in the Journal of Loss and Trauma, many people facing emotional distress and dealing with unresolved trauma use humor to cope with their struggles. Whether it's self-depricating jokes or dark humor, they'd prefer to make light of their struggles for everyone's "comfort," rather than indulging vulnerability.
While it may be temporarily comforting, another study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships argues that it only deepens the cycle of emotional distress, causing people to avoid true coping and healing in the face of humor.
11. The over-apologize for their emotions
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Many people who don't ask for help and feel uncomfortable with vulnerability view their personal struggles and emotions as burdens. They'd prefer to suppress complex emotions for a fleeting feeling of comfort and hide their struggles from the people around them, rather than expressing them openly, which is why they tend to over-apologize.
They never want to feel like they're making someone else feel as drained and anxious as they are, so they hide from vulnerability and shelter themselves from help and support. Like psychologist Gregory Chasson suggests, this behavior is often rooted in low self-esteem and anxiety, which is why it's often heightened in people experiencing distress.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
