15 Subtle Signs You're Not Just Stressed, You're Completely Exhausted Emotionally
Your physical symptoms indicate there's a major underlying problem.
My Agency | Shutterstock Everyone comes to a time in their life when they are emotionally exhausted. This usually occurs when a person has been exposed to prolonged stress, whether it be from work-related pressures, caregiving responsibilities, personal challenges, or other demanding circumstances. It can also be caused by chronic illness or pain, sleep deprivation, overstimulation, and poor self-care.
And while this stems from stress and overworking yourself, there are additional subtle signs you're not just stressed, you're completely exhausted emotionally, and your mental and emotional resources have been depleted. When exhaustion takes over your life, it's overwhelming and can lead to illness and losing your sense of control. But when this happens, you need to know how to get back to normal and help yourself get better.
Here are 15 subtle signs you're not just stressed, you're completely exhausted emotionally
1. You're angry and impatient
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When you're emotionally exhausted, you may find yourself in a sour mood more frequently as a result of mental fatigue. You might have a short temper or be easily irritated. You might also feel like it's harder to control your emotions because you're mentally drained and have nothing left to give.
Clinical associate professor and licensed clinical psychologist W. Robert Nay, PhD explained, "At high stress levels you are likely to be more irritable and less resilient. Too many tasks, unrealistic deadlines, any significant life change (including 'good' events like vacations and moving to a new home), uncertainty, worry, and a low sense of control increase stress, pushing you closer to the danger zone when an unforeseen trigger occurs."
2. You can't seem to finish your work
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A person suffering from emotional exhaustion may find it hard to finish their work because they are experiencing a sense of dread and often lose track of time from being easily distracted. This could cause them to fail to meet deadlines, develop a low commitment to their job, or even miss days of work.
It's normal for your productivity to ebb and flow; however, if it's harder to concentrate and you find every task overwhelming, that's a major red flag of emotional exhaustion. It's important to listen to your body when something feels off and you aren't your usual self, as it is usually an underlying problem.
3. You frequently find yourself zoning out
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Emotional exhaustion can hit so hard that you start zoning out and can't pay attention to anything. This is dangerous if you are driving, working a high-risk job, or even during a conversation where you might offend the other person. While it's normal to daydream or get lost in your thoughts, when you're unable to bring yourself back to reality, it's a problem.
According to spiritual life coach Keya Murthy, the greatest symptom of mental exhaustion is when you find yourself unable to focus. "You ask people to repeat themselves, or you have to reread something you are reading, or you show up somewhere and you forget why you are there, or in extreme case scenario how you got there," she explained.
4. You aren't sleeping well
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One of the more obvious yet subtle signs you're not just stressed, you're completely exhausted emotionally is not sleeping as well as usual. You may be suffering from sleep insomnia, have trouble falling asleep, tossing and turning, or find yourself waking up multiple times during the night.
You might think it would be easier to sleep while you're emotionally exhausted, as you likely find yourself zoning out, but that's not the case. According to psychologist and psychiatric mental health nurse practitioner Timothy J. Legg, "Lack of energy, poor sleep, and decreased motivation can make it difficult to overcome emotional exhaustion. Over time, this chronic, stressed-out state can cause permanent damage to your health."
5. You use substances
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Using substances will never help your case of any disease or sickness. If anything, it will make it worse. It can also change how your brain manages stress and anxiety, and how it controls impulsive behaviors. Research from 2008 even found that stress leaves people vulnerable to turning to substances in order to provide some relief.
As certified national drug and alcohol interventionist Benjamin Hogan revealed, "It's not uncommon to turn to alcohol or drugs to give you a break from your mentally overwhelming day-to-day and to help numb the pain you may be experiencing. When you're suffering from emotional exhaustion and burnout, you want to feel good — even if just for a few moments. But it's seeking relief in drugs or alcohol that can lead to even more significant problems than emotional burnout in the first place."
6. You're depressed
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Depression can cause emotional exhaustion and contribute to having no energy, feeling numb, and lacking motivation. Murthy added, "The lesser symptoms but equally important are when you are no longer interested in things that brought you joy earlier. Emotional exhaustion can take you to a place where you find it hard to find joy in smaller or bigger things."
If you have any feelings of hopelessness that last longer than two weeks, you should consult your doctor for help. In the meantime, it's important to recharge yourself. That means disconnecting from the cause, healing, and administering self-care in a way that makes you feel good.
7. You worry too much
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It's normal for people to worry about a number of things, whether it's paying bills on time, making sure their family is taken care of, or even stressful world events. But if you find yourself worrying about everything all the time, it's one of the subtle signs you're not just stressed, you're completely exhausted emotionally. The mental fatigue you experience with emotional exhaustion can trigger your nervous system, and put you in fight or flight mode.
"It is never okay to be emotionally exhausted, just like it is never okay to be thirsty. If your body is sending you signals of thirst, that means it is devoid of fluids and parched and crying out loud for you to hear," Murthy explained. "Similarly, when you experience emotional exhaustion, it is because you did not give yourself breaks. Your brain has gone into an overdrive mode and now is crying out for help by sabotaging your thinking, your words, and your action."
8. You find it difficult to exercise
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It can be difficult to find the motivation to exercise when emotional burnout sets in, as it zaps you of any inspiration to move your body. According to a study published in Annals of Behavioral Medicine, "Mental fatigue alters the amount of physical effort people are willing to invest in an exercise workout and follow through with those intentions by doing less work. These are the first results showing people may deliberately adjust their physical effort to cope with mental fatigue."
But nothing is better for your brain, your body, and your heart than practicing peaceful mindfulness and living in the present moment. Even if you don't partake in strenuous exercise, it's important to stimulate your mind and body. You can do this through yoga, meditation, breathing exercises, and walking in nature.
9. Your eating habits have changed
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If you're a predominantly healthy person, one of the more worrying but subtle signs you're not just stressed, you're completely exhausted emotionally, is a change in your normal eating habits. You might start craving unhealthy food or snacks more than usual.
As experts from the Mayo Clinic explained, "Although some people eat less in the face of strong emotions, if you're in emotional distress you might turn to impulsive or binge-eating, quickly consuming whatever's convenient without enjoyment. In fact, your emotions can become so tied to your eating habits that you automatically reach for a treat whenever you're angry or stressed without thinking about what you're doing."
Though it's difficult, it's essential to nourish your body with food filled with rich vitamins and minerals in order to function properly. Cutting out all processed, sugary, and fast food significantly benefits your health for the better, and you will find yourself less chronically stressed, have higher energy levels, and you might even sleep better.
10. You're making more mistakes
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It's hard to fall out of a rut when you're emotionally exhausted and start to forget things, which leads you to make more mistakes and get in trouble more often. According to licensed clinical social worker and therapist Christine Vargo, it's an amalgamation of many emotions experienced at once.
"Mental exhaustion can be defined by the experience of over-functioning and the conditioned behaviors associated with constantly moving, doing, and being. Emotional exhaustion can be treated by creating a balance between effort and stillness. Focusing on self-care and developing habits that provide space for feeling grounded and centered," Vargo suggested.
11. You're in constant pain
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Your pain from emotional fatigue could cause you to be in a lot of pain, including experiencing frequent headaches, sore muscles, back pain, stomach problems, and more. According to Murthy, if your emotional exhaustion is here to stay, "you can make it go away by completely unplugging yourself from all demands of household chores and work."
Murthy suggested asking loved ones to support you, and to get out of your home if you can afford it. Whether it's checking into a hotel or asking a friend if you can stay, this will help you surround yourself with tenderness and love, and care for your body, mind and spirit.
12. You aren't giving yourself a much-needed break
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Never ignore your body and what it tells you. If you're feeling burnt out and as if you need to take time off from your work life for your own mental health, you absolutely should. If you need help from professionals, you should reach out. Listen to what your body is telling you and put yourself first. After all, your health is the most important thing of all.
"Go get a massage, or healing treatment, or go to a spa for a day. You may find a friend to hang out with outdoors. You can go to a garden store and move through the trees and plants and imagine a garden for yourself. If it inspires you, bring something home and start working on a garden. The fish section in a pet store is a great place to release any emotional exhaustion and return to equilibrium," Murthy suggested.
13. You cry for no reason
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Crying for no reason is often a symptom of emotional exhaustion and signals that you have an overwhelmed state of mind. The built-up stress makes emotions more volatile, and the mind and body struggle to regulate emotions, resulting in uncontrollable outbursts of tears with no apparent cause.
If you're experiencing emotional exhaustion, this might be easier said than done, but pinpointing your stressors can really help you move forward and remove stress altogether from your life. According to Harvard Business Review, just 20 minutes of downtime a day is proven to prevent or help the symptoms of emotional exhaustion by almost 50%.
14. You're constantly late
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Being constantly late is not just a bad habit, it reflects a lack of mental and physical energy to effectively manage your time. When you're emotionally exhausted, it's challenging to maintain focus and organization, leading to tardiness. Feeling mentally burnt out may also lead to decreased motivation and a sense of detachment, making it difficult to remain punctual.
Though there are benefits to lateness, when it's a result of fatigue, it's certainly not helpful. Recognizing chronic lateness as a symptom of emotional exhaustion serves as a reminder to put your self-care first and regain a sense of control over your time management.
15. You feel detached
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Along with not really feeling like yourself and finding that your usual routines are out of whack, one of the subtle signs you're not just stressed, you're completely exhausted emotionally, is feeling detached from everything around you. Whether it's a disconnection from yourself, your job, your family or your friends, it feels challenging to engage fully with your surroundings or connect in your relationships.
Detachment may manifest as apathy, a lack of interest, or feelings of being emotionally numb. It's essential to take steps to restore your emotional well-being through self-care, support, and seeking professional help if needed.
Megan Hatch is a multimedia journalist and frequent contributor to YourTango. Her bylines have appeared on Medium, Patch, BuzzFeed, SAGE Publishing, Voice of America, as well as dozens of independent television and online publications.
