If Any Of These 11 Things Annoy You, You Are Probably Unusually Stubborn
Design Studio's | Canva Pro When we think about stubborn individuals, we often consider it to be a flaw in their character. It's usually someone that outright refuses to participate or budge, and will dig their heels in for seemingly no apparent reason if something doesn't go their way. But most of the time, stubbornness simply means being irritated by things that don't bother everyone else. So, whether it's being interrupted or feeling pressured to agree, if certain things annoy you, you may be unusually stubborn.
It's not that you're trying to be difficult, but you know your needs, and if something feels rushed or off in the slightest way, it's hard for your brain to just skip right on past it. To you, certain moments may feel way more significant, which is why certain behaviors or attitudes can hit a nerve instantly. They feel a little disrespectful, even if no harm was intended in the first place. You may be fine letting things go when they make sense, but when they don't, you end up feeling justified in the annoyed reaction that suddenly takes over. So if any of these things annoy you, yes, you are probably unusually stubborn.
1. Being told to 'just let it go'
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The second that someone even tries to minimize your frustration or annoyance by casually alerting you to "let it go," it likely just ends up making things worse. You're not going to just let go of your emotions unless there are genuine steps being taken to resolve the issue at hand. You believe feelings and unresolved issues should receive the proper acknowledgment rather than just brushing it under the rug for everyone else's sakes.
"Once something in our lives (or our thoughts) triggers a feeling, the process is set in motion, and the emotion is there, whether you want it or not," said psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson. "That feeling has to move through you in order to be released. The only way out, it's been said many times, is through."
You would actually let things go when they're being addressed. It's not like you're holding onto these negative feelings for fun; in fact, it can be quite draining in the first place. Being told to "just let things go" can make you feel misunderstood, which, in turn, only makes it that much harder to release whatever is sitting on your chest.
2. People who refuse to admit they're wrong
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Whether it's a person being self-righteous in their beliefs or refusing to admit they're wrong despite being presented with facts to the contrary, if any of these things annoy you, you are probably unusually stubborn. Because what really gets under a stubborn person's skin is a person's lack of accountability.
The mistake itself probably doesn't even bother you, but you are someone that values truth over trying to protect ego. You struggle to move on when someone refuses to take responsibility for their actions. You can acknowledge when someone didn't do something intentionally, but that doesn't mean they're absolved of ever apologizing or just admitting they acted in the wrong manner.
"A common obstacle to apologizing is the conviction that we shouldn’t have to apologize because we didn’t do anything 'wrong.' Being invested in proving we're “right," even in one’s internal dialogue, only prolongs conflict and sows division," explained clinical psychologist Lynn Margolies.
The second someone starts to deflect or attempt to change the subject, you can probably feel your blood boil in irritation. If someone can't just admit that they're wrong about something small, it instantly makes you wonder how they would react when it's something that actually matters.
3. Repeating yourself more than once
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If you find yourself having to explain something multiple times, it can become increasingly frustrating because it means the person you're explaining it to isn't actively listening. Being a stubborn person means that you care deeply about being clear, and repetition just irks you. What makes it even worse is that you're not someone who just talks for the sake of talking.
When you're saying something, it's meaningful and usually important. You make sure to choose your words carefully. But being asked to repeat yourself means you can instantly feel your patience slipping. You've put in all of this work to communicate effectively and clearly, so it can feel like a slight when someone automatically asks you to say it all again because they weren't really paying attention.
4. Receiving advice you didn't ask for
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Unsolicited advice from anyone, whether it's a co-worker, family member, or even your best friend, can quickly annoy you. It can feel intrusive, as if people don't think you're able to trust your own judgment.
Even if you might be making the wrong decision, you are someone that finds pleasure in being able to learn through experiences. Your stubbornness comes from being able to rely on your instincts, not from a place of arrogance. You just don't enjoy being steered without direct consent.
"We can get very invested in the advice that we give and have difficulty understanding why the recipient does not accept and implement it. We don't like feeling passive or inactive when there appears to be an opportunity to be giving and helpful," insisted clinical social work psychotherapist Richard B. Joelson.
On top of that, unsolicited advice can come from a place of condescension. Even if the person doesn't mean it that way, it can feel as if they're trying to preach to you from some high pedestal when they probably know just as much as you do, maybe even less considering it's your own decisions and choices they're weighing in on.
5. Being pressured to agree just to 'keep the peace'
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Being told you just "need to keep the peace" can instantly strike a nerve. You would honestly rather sit in the uncomfortable than have to go back on your own opinions and integrity.
Forced peace feels unnatural as things are just being cast aside despite the ripple it probably caused. You aren't someone to bend to make situations convenient for other people. The so-called "peace" isn't even real anyway.
"It becomes all too easy to just sweep the problem under the rug, to 'let it go,' to make up and brush it aside for fear of starting another argument. Have the courage to step up and work together to solve the problem," encouraged therapist Bob Taibbi.
Everyone is just pretending to get along because they may think confronting it head-on will make things worse. And it probably will. But things may have to get a bit worse to finally get better, which is a philosophy that you wholeheartedly subscribe to.
You may not be looking for conflict, but you don't think that an agreement should come at the cost of your own perspective. Being asked to go along with something that you don't believe in just feels like you're abandoning your own principles.
6. People who constantly play devil's advocate
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It can feel exhausting to you when you're in conversation with someone that just wants to always argue the counterpoint. Sometimes not every point needs to be challenged and, in fact, the solution is straightforward. And if any of these things annoy you, you are probably unusually stubborn.
What makes it even more annoying is that you can tell when someone's playing devil's advocate because they just like stirring the pot and not because they're genuinely curious and want to understand the other side of things.
They're just arguing for the sake of arguing, and that can instantly make you walk away in frustration. It's not that you're against critical thinking and putting yourself in someone else's shoes to understand their perspective. But there's usually a major difference between someone who's actually exploring all possibilities and someone just doing it to rile everyone in the room up.
7. Being told to calm down when you're already calm
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You're not someone that ever likes being talked down to. So, the second someone is telling you to "relax" and "calm down" when you're not even agitated, it can quickly become annoying. It just feels like such an unnecessary comment to make because it implies that you're not in control of your emotions when you are.
You may have been riled up a second ago, but you've managed to calm yourself down and are thinking clearly. But the moment that someone implies you're not, the assumption can feel disrespectful. It's almost impossible for you not to push back against a comment like that because you refuse to let anyone think they know what your state of mind is when they haven't even asked.
8. Being interrupted when you're making a point
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You're not someone who rambles often. When you do speak, it's because you have a thought or opinion that you want to share with people. So, when someone instantly cuts you off without letting you finish, it can be quite annoying as you know you're not being heard or acknowledged. It can instantly feel dismissive, even if the person interrupting you didn't mean it in that way.
"Some people dominate the conversation because they're hard of hearing and find it difficult to listen. Others are socially anxious and much more focused on the impression they're making than on the exchange," health and psychology journalist Temma Ehrenfeld pointed out.
You just can't deal with someone trying to let your ideas be brushed aside so that there's room for theirs. You would rather that person wait until you're done speaking, acknowledge what has been said, and then chime in with what they want to say. That's the basis of a real and respectful conversation in the first place.
9. Being told your standards are unrealistic
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You know exactly what you're capable of maintaining and accomplishing. It can feel hurtful and dismissive to hear from someone else that you may be reaching for the stars that are too high to grab.
Your standards aren't ever random or impossible either. They're usually the result of taking in information, paying attention, and knowing yourself enough to gauge whether it's attainable or not.
You've already thought through all of the possibilities and outcomes. Even if it may sound like a risk to everyone else, it's a risk that you're fine with taking.
It's not like you're making a decision on the whim. So, it can end up hurting your feelings when people around you make it seem as if they don't know your personality and understand that this decision is something that you feel strongly about.
10. When people won't read the instructions but still complain
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The information is usually right there for them to read and understand. When people just skip right on past the instructions and then act like the problem they're facing came out of thin air, it can be something that instantly agitates you.
It's usually just a waste of energy. You might have spent the entire time that they were criticizing the instructions reading and carefully understanding them. Now, you have to be subjected to listening to the other person complain and moan about a problem that could have been avoided if they had just taken the time to read the instructions like you had.
It makes it even worse when they blame the outcome rather than acknowledging they played a part in why something didn't come out the way it should have.
11. People who don't learn from repeated mistakes
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If someone slips up once or twice, you aren't someone to hold it against them. Mistakes are inevitable and sometimes we need to make them more than once to finally learn the lesson.
But at some point, if you're making the same mistake more than two times, the patterns are being ignored and the person really isn't paying attention to what they're doing wrong. Someone actively avoiding acknowledging a mistake and realizing what they're doing wrong is only hindering their ability to finally grow and move on.
"If you focus on completely eliminating all mistakes from your life, this will feel incredibly overwhelming. Addressing your patterns can even be enjoyable if you take a non-judgmental, problem-solving approach," said psychology researcher Alice Boyes.
That can be an annoying thing to witness. To you, repeated mistakes can be fixed. They aren't just an unfortunate roadblock. They're usually a reflection of someone choosing to stay stagnant. You can only learn from a mistake when you realize the issues at hand, which often means opening up your eyes to some difficult truths, which can be hard for some people to do.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
