11 Things That Instantly Annoy People Who Were Raised With Good Manners
People with good manners simply won't tolerate disrespect or rudeness.
BearFotos | Shutterstock Many people who were raised with good manners had parents who modeled certain behaviors. Whether it was saying "please" and "thank you" or being socially aware of others in public, they were taught to prioritize their own needs, while still respecting and showing appreciation for others.
Many of the things that instantly annoy people who were raised with good manners are signs of the opposite — people who were forced into ignorant, self-centered, or isolated situations early in life that negatively affect their social skills and well-being today. Even if their lack of manners is a misguided defense mechanism or coping strategy, they continue to perpetuate a kind of negativity that doesn't do anyone any favors.
Here are 11 things that instantly annoy people who were raised with good manners
1. Interrupting people when they're speaking
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According to psychotherapist Amy Morin, consistently interrupting someone when they're speaking is the perfect way to signal that you don't respect them or their space in a conversation. On a small level, interruptions demonstrate self-centeredness and ignorance, but on a larger scale, they can erode relationships and isolate people from positive social interactions.
That's why it's one of the things that instantly annoys people who were raised with good manners, because even in hard conversations or in situations where they don't agree with others, they make the time and space for them to feel heard.
2. Never saying 'please' or 'thank you'
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Even though it may seem like a simple and obvious way to convey respect and gratitude to others, the prevalence of basic manners like saying "please" and "thank you" is steadily decreasing across all age demographics.
Of course, it's not just annoying to other people offering help and services, it tends to sabotage the person refusing to say "please" and "thank you" — keeping them from reaping the social, emotional, and physical benefits of expressing gratitude.
3. Never covering their mouth
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Of course, covering your mouth when you cough or sneeze is largely a safety precaution, but it's also an act of respect and empathy toward the people around you. Even if it takes a little bit of extra effort for them, it's one of the basic manners people have to protect the people around them from getting sick.
That's why people coughing or sneezing without covering their mouth is one of the things that instantly annoy people who were raised with good manners. Clearly, they care more about their own convenience than helping or protecting others, making other people uncomfortable by refusing to indulge an easy protective measure.
4. Refusing to take accountability
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Even if it seems simple, saying "I'm sorry" and apologizing is one of the most effective ways to build stronger relationships and personal self-esteem. Even if it's simply taking accountability for accidentally hurting someone's feelings or misrepresenting something in a work meeting, saying "sorry" and acknowledging your shortcomings can go a long way in making other people feel respected, heard, and valued.
While this lack of self-awareness and empathy toward others is often a side effect of a poor upbringing or misguided parenting decisions, like a study from BMC Public Health suggests, it's still one of the things that instantly annoy people who were raised with good manners.
5. Looking at their phone during a conversation
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Making other people feel heard and valued in a passing conversation doesn't have to be difficult — as long as you're actively listening and making an effort with body language and nonverbal cues, it's possible to showcase respect and understanding. However, there are a million distractions that can sabotage healthy connections and urge people to feel dismissed, even if they're entirely subconscious.
For example, looking at their phone during a conversation is one of the things that instantly annoys people who were raised with good manners. Even if their phone is just present in their hand or on a table, like a study from PLOS One suggests, it can still sabotage the shared feelings of trust and respect that protect people in social interactions.
6. Making offensive jokes
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While jokes and humor can occasionally be effective in the right hands, for diffusing stressful situations and intense emotional conversations, they're not always helpful for making people feel respected and heard. That's why offensive jokes and crude humor are some of the things that instantly annoy people who were raised with good manners.
They know the right times and places to utilize humor, but they also tend to be sensitive to how they'll impact other people, instead of immediately using a hurtful misguided joke to cope with their own discomfort at the expense of other people.
7. Not holding the door open
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While there's often a certain lapse of time when you're walking into a building where it's uncomfortable or awkward to hold the door open for the person behind you, most of the time, people raised with good manners will go out of their way to help others.
Even if it takes away from their immediate convenience, they're willing to hold a door open — it's a simple empathetic behavior that can go a long way in reducing effort and energy for everyone.
Even though the practice tends to be inherently rooted in power and gendered dynamics, like a study from the University of Texas suggests, it's still one of the things that's obviously noticeable and annoying to people raised with good manners when someone overlooks it.
8. Not cleaning up their messes
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Whether they're in someone else's home or in a shared public space, not cleaning up their messes is one of the things that instantly annoy people who were raised with good manners when other people do them. It's not just inconsiderate and rude to the service workers who may be tasked with the extra work, it can also burden strangers down the line — contributing to a misguidedly negative dynamic that can have severe consequences.
So, even if it might take away a few convenient moments of time or energy, it's a matter of respect. Clean up your messes.
9. Always being late
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According to a study from Michigan State University, unreliable people often erode their relationships, sabotage healthy communication, and isolate themselves from healthy connections — sometimes without even realizing it. Whether it's breaking their promises, struggling to keep their commitments, regularly showing up late, or canceling at the last minute, their unreliability proves they don't respect other people's time or energy.
That's why being late is one of the things that instantly annoys people who were raised with good manners, because even if it takes them more planning and energy up front, they never consistently take advantage of another person's time.
10. Talking loudly in public
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Whether it's talking on speakerphone in a public space or being overly loud in shared places like a library, lacking social awareness is generally one of the things that instantly annoy people who were raised with good manners.
Great social awareness relies on empathy, compassion, understanding, and respect, but someone who lacks basic manners — like being cognizant of other people's comfort or presence by being self-aware in shared spaces — focuses entirely on themselves.
11. Being rude to service workers
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According to psychology professor Melanie Morrison, people who are regularly rude to service workers are often subconsciously compensating for their own poor coping mechanisms. When they're dealing with stress or anxiety in their own life, they take it out on the people around them, even if it means disrespecting service workers or expecting them to overlook their own needs for personal comfort and convenience.
It's one of the things that instantly annoys people who were raised with good manners, because regardless of what kind of day they've had in their personal life, they don't hurt other people or dehumanize them while they're working to compensate.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
