People With Actual Common Decency Almost Always Say These 11 Things When They Talk To You
fizkes | Shutterstock It can be refreshing to encounter someone who doesn't try to have a rushed conversation. Instead, they're the people who will actually take the time to speak to you, but also listen as well so you end up walking away feeling incredibly respected, even in such a small interaction. The best part is that these individuals rarely expect anything in return. People with actual common decency almost always say certain things when they talk to you, and their words are meaningful because of how kindhearted they are.
They aren't just nodding their head alone or giving out empty compliments just because it seems like something they should be doing rather than something they want to do. Instead, they make sure to choose their words carefully and always land in such a comforting way that can be hard to come by. It's because they're looking for genuine connections with people, and they never want someone to walk away from an interaction with them thinking it was superficial. They want people to feel good about themselves from the words they say, and that desire translates to the way they carry themselves and engage in moments with the people they surround themselves with.
People with actual common decency almost always say these 11 things when they talk to you
1. 'Thank you for your time'
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People who genuinely respect another person's time will never fail to express their gratitude. They would rather acknowledge it sincerely than the other person think they're just being taken for granted. It isn't just something they say out of habit but something they wholeheartedly feel thankful for.
"Gratitude doesn't have to be grand; it just needs to be consistent. It's about showing up, day after day, even when it feels hard," pointed out mindfulness expert Alex Snider.
Whether they're inviting someone out for dinner or meeting up for a quick conversation, people with actual common decency almost always say "thank you for your time" when they talk to you. They won't ever leave without letting the other person know that they're immensely grateful for the fact they showed up and gave them their time. After all, relationships for them are built on consistency and actually wanting to spend time together.
2. 'I see how hard you're trying'
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Those with actual common decency are just as aware of the effort that someone is constantly exerting to get something done in the same way that they're aware of the results. They believe that persistence matters so much more than something coming out perfect. When they see someone working hard, even through the mistakes and failures, that means so much more in their eyes.
Of course, they're absolutely happy and excited when someone's hard work finally pays off, but they appreciate the journey just as much as they appreciate that final result. To them, your best is when you're knee-deep in figuring things out but having this intense feeling of wanting to succeed no matter what. They'll become your biggest cheerleader.
3. 'I'm sorry, I was wrong'
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Those with common decency never want to be the type of person that doesn't know when to apologize. Their pride and ego are never too big that they can't just take a step back and admit that they got it wrong. They're never too proud to admit that they made a mistake.
"One of the primary reasons people struggle to apologize is the role of ego. Admitting fault requires acknowledging that we were wrong, which can be difficult for many, especially those who equate mistakes with personal failure," leadership coach James M. Kerr explained.
They're simply too self-aware to continue trying to milk a point they've made, even when they know deep down that there's nothing to back up what they've just said. The same can be said for unintentionally hurting someone.
The second someone expresses that their feelings were hurt, decent people will quickly apologize and take the necessary steps to make it right because of how much they care. There's an immense amount of courage that comes from someone being able to hold up their hands and not dodging accountability.
4. 'How are you really doing?'
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People with actual common decency almost always ask how you're doing when they talk to you. Rather than asking the question out of formality, they ask it because they genuinely want to know. They don't you to answer "fine," and then throw the question back their way. Instead, they want the real answer, even if it's messy and not entirely thought out.
"We have become such a private culture that even our family and friends are often unwilling to ask us too many personal questions, or to answer them when we ask. So many of us feel reluctant to disclose too much about ourselves, particularly if it involves troubling issues," said clinical psychologists Shoba Sreenivasan and Linda E. Weinberger.
They're naturally curious and know that sometimes people just need someone to talk their thoughts out with. Whether it's the stress that's been plaguing your life for some months now, or they're excited about a new endeavor that'll bring an immense amount of change, either way they're actually paying attention and not just waiting for you to finish talking before they can start talking about themselves.
5. 'Take care of yourself'
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These individuals will always remind you that your well-being should always come first. If you confide in them that you've been feeling stressed and overwhelmed lately, they'll immediately recommend that you take a self-care day.
Whatever that might look like for you, whether it's a day at the spa, taking off from work and just spending time on the couch catching up on TV shows you might have missed, or having a night in where you cook food and light some candles, they'll encourage these habits.
They know that self-care is just as important as working hard and trying to find success. You simply can't pour into an empty cup, nor can you be there for others if you aren't there for yourself. Just as much as they encourage others to practice self-care, it's a belief that they find important for themselves, too.
6. 'Take your time'
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In the same way that these individuals are usually aware of someone taking time out of their schedule to spend it with them, they're also quite good at telling people that they never need to rush in their company. They know that telling someone to "hurry up" or that they're taking "too long" can only bring unnecessary stress and make them feel worse about themselves.
"When we slow down, we create space to reflect on our thoughts, emotions, and experiences. This self-reflection is essential for personal growth because it helps us gain a better understanding of ourselves, our values, and our aspirations," warned licensed therapist John Kim.
Considering they're incredibly patient people to begin with, people with common decency never want others to feel like they need to abandon their own needs or hurry to the point where they end up forgetting something. When someone hears that they should always take their time, it makes them feel way more confident in their decisions rather than being forced to act impulsively.
7. 'You're stronger than you think'
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Their best quality is being able to highlight traits that other people might not even notice about themselves. The second that they hear someone they care about talking negative about their strength or capabilities, they'll quickly remind them that they're way stronger than they may think. They'll list examples of times where they've stepped up even in the face of adversity.
Above all else, they'll reassure them that despite how challenging life might feel right now, it doesn't have to be the reason for the self-deprecating words and thoughts. That kind of acknowledgement can feel quite empowering, especially if you've been stuck in your head for too long.
8. 'I respect your opinion'
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Even if they don't necessarily agree with the take that someone else has, people with actual common decency almost always say "I respect your opinion" when they talk to you, because they'll never make someone feel small for sharing their thoughts. Sometimes, having respect for someone outweighs whether or not you want to "win" that conversation or debate, and people with actual common decency know that.
"The reality is that we all struggle to some extent with concerns and fears of negative judgments of others. It is critical that we strive to shift our focus away from other people's opinions to achieving our goals and realizing our own potential," clinical psychologist Monica Vermani explained.
They know that everyone has their own experiences and beliefs that shape who they are. Just because someone doesn't share the same opinion that they do, it doesn't mean they should be dismissed. Disagreements never have to come with judgment either. Sometimes it's more important to honor someone's viewpoint rather than convince them that they're inherently "wrong."
9. 'You can always talk to me'
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Individuals with actual decency will never shut the door for someone wanting to talk their feelings out with them. They're always available, even if you just want to vent and aren't looking for any kind of advice. And they aren't just saying it casually because it sounds like something nice to say, but because they actually mean it and always want to be a safe space for those they know and care about.
They never want people to think they should just be carrying burdens all alone without support from anyone. They're not looking to gossip or judge, either. Instead, they want to be able to validate your feelings and offer reassurance that things will work out for the better.
10. 'It's okay to make mistakes'
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Mistakes are a part of life, and those with actual decency know that. It's only through the mishaps and failures that we are able to learn more about ourselves. It's also how we're able to improve for the next time. There's simply no way that we can navigate life without stumbling a little.
"We can't erase our fear of mistakes — it's too deeply ingrained in our biology. However, we can choose how we interpret and respond to them. When we begin treating errors as data points rather than disasters, we open the door to personal and collective growth," said developmental neuropsychologist Sam Goldstein.
Sure, it can be disheartening when something doesn't work out in the way that you might have wanted it to, but that doesn't mean that it's the end of things. Instead, it's the chance to start over and find success. Their acknowledgement of this can be such a gentle nudge that slipping up doesn't mean you've failed entirely.
11. 'I'll listen whenever you're ready'
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These individuals are aware that sometimes people need a moment to collect themselves before they can share. Rather than being eager to hear what's on their mind to the point where they fail to reassure them that it's fine to take their time, those with actual common decency offer that reassurance.
Considering they're patient people, they'll wait for however long someone needs them to wait. They want to offer a safe space to others without pushing or being too forward. Some people need the time to process or reflect. They also might just need a deep breath before sharing what's on their mind too. Either way, they should be given the freedom to approach the conversation when they themselves feel ready.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
