11 Little Habits Of People Who Don't Realize How Smart They Really Are
Benevolente82 | Shutterstock It's that time of year when many people resolve to make changes relating to everything from finance to fitness. Unfortunately, by February, a good majority of us will have settled (un)comfortably back into old habits and will find ourselves feeling just slightly more powerless against our ability to slay the dragons that stand between us and our best selves. If you're like me and tired of seeing the same promise you made to yourself fall by the wayside, perhaps these habits might help.
Here are 11 little habits of people who don't realize how smart they really are:
1. They figure out what they really want and need
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I don't know about you, but I'm amazing at coming up with new stuff to want. Seriously, if I were to be reviewed just on my ability to desire, I'd get a promotion and raise every quarter. Now, consistency in my desires is a whole other story. I can want a pair of fantastic boots on Monday and forget all about them by Friday.
To avoid being wishy-washy with your wants and needs, create a life pyramid. Place your ultimate goal at the top, your next biggest below it, and your next three and four below them. Look! You now have 10 goals to focus on nurturing and flourishing. Next, write down three ways you'll work toward achieving or maintaining these goals and carry both exercises around with you to use as reminders to stay on track.
Some questions to always ask yourself: Is the way I am handling this situation working for or against these goals? Are my life choices helping me achieve my goals or serving as an anchor or distraction? How are the people I'm spending most of my time with helping or hindering my progress?
2. They give themselves credit — literally
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So, you haven't really been all that responsible with your credit card swipes? It happens. Still, ignoring the damage doesn't make it go away. In fact, it often makes it worse. Your credit score serves as a rating of your reputation and reliability to lenders, landlords, and, in some cases, future bosses.
So why wouldn't you want to take control and do the work to build up a solid credit score, which can help you gain better rates and resources in the future? You can get reports from all three bureaus and find out your FICO score (and details on how to increase your score for $40.00) at Experian. (Note: The first interview I ever did for print was with finance expert Suze Orman, who made such a huge impact on me regarding credit scores that I check mine every six months).
3. They keep tabs on their money
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Pretty shoes, amazing trips, and cab rides home from fabulous dinners are great, but stressing about how you'll live for two weeks while you wait for your next paycheck? Not so much. Instead of swiping without thinking (see above) figure out how much you make per month, what you need to spend money on, what you want to spend it on, and how much you need to save to have three months of bills covered in case of an emergency.
Ah, you didn't expect that last part, did you? Now, work it out. Look through old bank account and credit card bills to calculate how much you spent on extras such as cabs, coffee, shopping trips, etc. Some of you should get ready for a shock. I once did this and realized I had spent $3,000 on cabs. That's a trip to Rome!
To drive down debt, pick up the phone. Call all of your credit card companies and find out the APR on each. Then, start paying minimum payments on all but the highest, which you'll send as much above the minimum payment as you can until it's paid off. Then move to the next highest. Repeat.
4. They take a relationship inventory
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There's a saying that you become like the five people you hang out with most. Think about the people in your life who get most of your time and attention. How do they make you feel? How do they support you? Do you feel you can trust them? Count on them? If you have people in your life who bring you down (or worse, push you down) it's time to do a bit of spring cleaning. Life's hard enough without having to deal with those who don't have your best interests at heart.
5. They rebuild broken relationships
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We all get busy, stressed, and caught up in our thoughts and lives, but relationships are like plants: Water them and they flourish, ignore them or water them only when they're wilting, and watch them die a slow death. If you have a relationship that needs a little extra TLC, move past pride, clear your calendar, and reach out to rebuild.
6. They stop making (and accepting) excuses
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We all have 'reasons' for saying hurtful things, making poor life choices, and engaging in behavior and relationships we know are unhealthy, but how do those reasons bring you closer to the moments, success, love, and situations you are aching to experience?
If you have someone in your life who chooses to excuse unhealthy behavior instead of addressing it, stand firm and let them know you're there to help, not enable. Ask the same of those around you when it comes to overcoming your own unhealthy habits.
This also serves as a good way to gauge the sincerity of apologies. When someone apologizes and gives a reason for bad behavior, they may be sorry, but it will likely happen again. If they supply subtext with information as to how they are working to make certain it does not happen again, it's more likely they're on a path of progress.
7. They watch their words
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Once out, the things you say cannot be taken back and they are often processed through filters that contain unique personal projections. Think about the message you want to convey before you alert the media and if you find you've said too much or the wrong thing, clarify and apologize (if necessary) and then learn your lesson. Avoiding situations where you engage in gossip or unnecessarily negative conversations will work wonders for your reputation (and peace of mind).
8. They strengthen their weaknesses
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No one gets to adulthood without having packed a few bags, and those "issues" usually manifest themselves in traumas, fears, and misconceptions that need to be addressed and sorted out. You could just continue to allow these things to impact your life, job, and relationships negatively, or you can choose to take a proactive approach.
If you find you need a bit of help navigating a situation, don't be ashamed to reach out to a professional for a little help. A lot of people face depression, anxiety, or just have a lot going on and don't know how to handle it, and find that talking to someone really helps them move through it. Doctors are doctors for a reason.
9. They value accountability
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Blaming others for your own poor decisions, bad behavior, and unhappiness is the best way to hand over your personal power and remain in a funk. When we hold ourselves (and others) accountable, we accept that we are in total control of ourselves, which not only builds confidence but also allows us to see ourselves as the masters of our own lives and fate. Knowing where others end and we begin, and vice versa, is a very powerful tool when building your best self.
10. They're prepared to walk away
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Whether it's a deal on a bag you want, a job you're really gunning for, or a relationship you're desperately trying to make work, knowing you're not so controlled by your desires or fear that you're willing to ignore your good senses or self-respect offers a great sense of peace and freedom. It also sends a message to those around you that you're not someone to try to manipulate or walk over, which will bring you less frustration overall.
11. They do their very best
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Whether you're making pasta, writing a card, engaging a neighbor, or making an apology, give the thing you do your full attention and do it to the best of your ability. When you ask someone how they're doing, keep looking at them and pay attention to their answer.
When you're working on a project for work, don't rush it just to get it done. Those around you will take notice of your attention to detail and the way you fully immerse yourself in conversations and tasks, thus building a reputation for respect and reliability. That said, when you have done your best, know that it's enough.
Brenda Della Casa is a self-development expert, writer, author, and speaker. Her articles and advice have been featured in Allure, Glamour, Men's Health, Huff Post, Cosmopolitan, and others.
