Men Who Get Away With These 11 Things Are Highly Privileged, Even If They Don’t Realize It
A lot of men don't even realize their own fortune in life.
Ground Picture | Shutterstock A lot of privilege that exists often goes undetected. For men, in particular, to them it can feel normal to be able to do and say certain things without noticing just how much space the world makes for them to live without major obstacles in their way. Society has truly given men a boost when many other groups and communities don't get the same luxury. And, on top of that, men don't really give it a second thought. Meanwhile, everyone else, especially women and other marginalized groups, have to work twice as hard and plan ahead or else they'll deal with the consequences.
Whether it's getting to walk alone at night without being in fear or dressing a certain way, men who get away with these things are highly privileged, even if they don't realize it. Now, it doesn't mean that each and every man is inherently a bad person. But all of them are benefiting from a system that has always prioritized their rights and well-being over everyone else's. From their point of view, a lot of men don't really even notice the things they're getting handed to them, but being able to recognize your privilege is the first step in using it for something actually good rather than continuing to be unaware.
Men who get away with these 11 things are highly privileged, even if they don't realize it
1. Getting credit for doing the bare minimum
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A lot of men truly do get praised for doing absolutely nothing. Whether it's being able to cook a meal for their partner without being asked or even taking out the trash, suddenly it's as if they've become the Best Person Alive. Meanwhile, everyone else will do these tasks every single day without even a semblance of acknowledgment.
"Take a moment and think about areas in your life where you could be more aware of your privilege. Think about how you could build awareness and how that might be supportive of people with less privilege. Think about how it might feel to build this awareness; how uncomfortable it would be at first, and how freeing it might become as you grow," pointed out psychologist Bedford Palmer II.
A man will do the absolute bare minimum and suddenly he's the one everyone should be looking up to. Men simply get kudos for showing certain initiates that women don't. It's not about hating on men, though, but about being able to understand the level of privilege that exists in them being able to do what they should be doing and getting a round of applause for it when they don't really deserve it.
2. Interrupting women and getting praised for 'leadership'
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In the work environment, most women are well aware of the disparity between them and their male co-workers. In meetings, a man might talk over a woman, saying the same exact thing that she was about to say, and suddenly everyone is nodding along as if he said something revolutionary. And men who get away with these things are highly privileged, even if they don't realize it.
Research from Amsterdam Studies in the Theory and History of Linguistic Science even found that through 31 separate two-part conversations, 10 of which were between two men, 10 of which were between two women, and 11 of which were between a man and a woman, that there were seven interruptions overall in the two same-gender groups combined; in the male-female groups, however, the researchers found 48 total interruptions — and 46 of them were started by the man.
Meanwhile, if a woman were to do the exact same thing, she would most likely be reprimanded. The double standard points out just how much privilege men have in that moment and they simply don't even realize it. It can also happen in social situations as well. Men often speak over women and get applauded without even realizing that they've just brushed them aside without any recognition.
3. Getting away with living in messy spaces
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When a guy's apartment is cluttered, it's usually brushed off as him being a "typical man." It's rarely seen as some kind of reflection on their character. The double standard runs deep considering when a woman's space is disorganized, it's usually something she's criticized for. In fact, a lot of women feel pressure for their homes to be inviting, neat, and even smell good.
A lot of men get so much grace in this area. They can have piles of laundry and takeout containers littering their counters and no one will bat an eye. They might make an off-handed comment, but for the most part, it's a privilege that's expected from them.
4. Walking alone at night with no fear
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One of the most prominent privileges that men have is the luxury of not being scared of walking home alone. Women sometimes have to carry their keys between their knuckles, make sure they're not listening to music or have anything obstructing their hearing, and even try to walk on crowded streets at night just to avoid something horrible happening.
According to a Gallup poll, in the United States, an estimated 85% of men report feeling safe when walking alone at night compared to 64% of women. Meanwhile, men are able to step outside and even go on a late-night walk or run whenever they feel like it.
Men never have to worry about checking their surroundings or being aware of who's walking behind them because they're not seen as targets. Simply being able to exist in public is an act of freedom that men take for granted all of the time.
5. Saying 'no' without guilt
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A man has the privilege of being able to decline invitations or refuse a favor that he doesn't want to do without being questioned. They're able to protect both their time and energy without worrying about damaging relationships, and that freedom to set their own boundaries without outside opinion is something they don't realize is not universal.
Women, however, are usually expected to accommodate and juggle a million and one things at once. It's so embedded in society that so many women feel extremely guilty just for setting boundaries, whereas men get the luxury of not having to deal with those same expectations.
6. Not being judged for showing ambition
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Men often have the freedom and privilege of being able to show ambition without facing an incessant amount of questions or even being criticized. People automatically see their dreams as a marker of their confidence and drive.
For a woman, the same cannot be said. She's usually accused of being too pushy and trying too hard even though she might be reaching for the same goals as a man. In fact, almost 90% of ambitious women have admitted to being attacked, resented, disliked, criticized, or cut down just because of their achievements and success.
Men pursuing any big life goals are usually praised for taking such risks and even supported so that they can achieve those dreams and aspirations. The disparity between both men and women doesn't just affect their opportunities, but it also affects their visibility as well. Men have the privilege of openly pursuing whatever they want, and for the most part, they're able to achieve it.
7. Never being told to 'smile more'
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Men get to enjoy the luxury of living and existing without ever having to hear someone tell them they should be "smiling more." In fact, men who get away with this are highly privileged, even if they don't realize it, because women don't have that same privilege. Instead, women are usually expected to be pleasant and approachable at all times, even for complete strangers. It's just exhausting.
"Smiling is very much associated as a gender marker," says professor of psychology Marianne LaFrance. "It marks one's femininity and a more communal stance toward life. Though smiling is generally a positive characteristic, it falls to women to do more of it because we want to make sure women are doing what we expect them to do, which is to care for others."
Men can do whatever they want without their mood being dissected. They never have to make excuses for why their faces are in neutral all of the time or why they're walking around with a frown.
8. Speaking over women's experiences
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Some men often get away with dismissing or explaining anything that a woman might be sharing, simply assuming that their perspective is much more valid. It's a privilege that many men get away with time and time again. It's not just rude but it signals that they feel as if their experiences are not only more valid but are worth way more.
Men might think they're helping by correcting details or even trying to offer solutions, but the best thing they can do is make space for women to share without their voices being erased completely. Whether it's intentional or not, a lot of men fail to realize that they're weaponizing their male privilege in the most extreme way by pushing women to the back.
9. Not being told an outfit is 'distracting'
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A man will never know what it feels like to walk into a room and have all eyes on them because they're showing legs in a skirt or their shoulders are visible in the top they're wearing. They'll never be dress-coded because their outfit is inappropriate and making other people uncomfortable when, in reality, it's usually just because other people can't handle a sliver of skin showing.
It's a privilege they don't even realize they have. Meanwhile, women are constantly being objectified just for wearing a top that may show off their midriff. Men can wear shorts and sleeveless shirts, and people don't even assume that it's meant to provoke attention from anyone else.
10. Getting promoted on potential
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Men who get away with being promoted based on potential only are highly privileged, even if they don't realize it. And according to a study from MIT, female employees are less likely to be promoted than their male counterparts, despite outperforming them and being less likely to quit.
A man can make a decent first impression or show even just a spark of initiative and he's suddenly being considered for a promotion right off the bat. He might not contribute as much as his female colleagues and yet, he's being rewarded for it in the best way possible. Women, on the other hand, have to wait longer and bend over backwards just to prove themselves. Yet, they still miss out on these opportunities because a man's potential always takes precedence.
11. Having messy hair without critique
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A privilege most men take for granted is the fact that they're able to rock messy hair or not even care about styling it at all and no one notices. They're able to just roll out of bed and go about their day without having to run a brush through their hair or refresh their style. For them, hair is just hair. It doesn't carry the same societal expectations that it does for women.
Messy hair is just never a problem for men, and no one judges their appearance for it either. This freedom allows them to maneuver through the world without having to worry about how they're being perceived. They can walk into a room looking any kind of way and the world just keeps spinning for them to do so.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
