Women Who Are Still Attracted To Their Husbands After Years Do These 11 Ordinary Things That Mean Everything
PeopleImages | Shutterstock In our modern society, one of the biggest goals for a typical "hopeless romantic" is to have a long marriage where both partners find each other attractive, loyal, and trustworthy. Of course, that's easier said than done, because being with the same person for years can get very old, very fast.
Attraction itself waxes and wanes. In a relationship, if you don't put in effort, you're not going to go far. But as time passes, it's those little things that matter most, and women who are still attracted to their husbands after years do certain ordinary things that mean everything.
Women who are still attracted to their husbands after years do these 11 ordinary things that mean everything
1. Prioritize their love life
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Making a conscious decision to prioritize your partner and your love life is incredibly important. This means partners take time out of their day-to-day lives to work on keeping that spark alight, putting their relationship first.
This often means wives will get therapy if they notice something feels off, set aside time to mingle with their partner, and recognize when something isn't going the way it should. It's a major attitude tweak that many people don't realize is essential to do until it's too late.
2. Schedule a weekly date night
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Women who are still attracted to their husbands after years schedule a weekly date night, because it's an ordinary thing that means everything to them. These wives understand that attraction to someone is a lot like a muscle — if you don't do things to work at your muscle's strength, you will lose your ability to use that muscle. The same thing is true with attraction: if you don't use it, you lose it.
The easiest fix for this is to make a point of having a weekly date night with your spouse. If you're not insisting on this as a wife, you might end up struggling to find your husband attractive. Even experts, like licensed clinical psychologist Dianne Grande, agree that date nights are a necessity, not a luxury.
"Usually, the challenge for long-term couples is to get out of the routine that they have fallen into and put in some effort to make their lives together more fun and joyful. The best relationships require effort from both individuals. If you don't have your next date night planned, go ahead and do it. It is not really a luxury after all. Consider it a necessity for a happy and life-affirming relationship," Grande explained.
3. Take care of themselves
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Most women have had a moment when they felt spent because they were overwhelmed catering to everyone around them. They just cooked a meal for their family, their kids are fighting bed time, and they're the only ones tidying up. By the time their husbands want so much as a kiss or a hug, women in this situation are burned out and unwilling to go near anyone.
That's not a good thing. You can't feel that spark if your entire fire has been burnt out. Unfortunately, emotional burnout and overwork destroys attraction in men and women. So before you try to keep that spark alive, take care of your own needs first.
4. Act as a partner, not a mother
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Did you ever notice how often women end up in a motherly role toward their husbands? It's not your imagination. Moreover, it's not your imagination when you notice how few of those women actually want to do anything with their spouses. But women who remain attracted to their husbands refuse to act like their moms. After all, it starts to be very hard to see their husbands as attractive men when they're acting like overgrown children.
Wives who understand this know that although there's a tendency for women to become a mother figure to their husband, who takes on a child role, her relationship is one of equality. As relationship expert Barton Goldsmith put it, "If we don't treat each other as equals, the love can't flow equally, and if that isn't happening, you are eventually going to question the relationship."
5. Remember why they fell for their spouse
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Do you remember why you fell in love with your spouse in the first place? Women who remain attracted after 10, 20, or even 30 years can tell you exactly what made them fall for their husband in the first place. This is by design — they actually make a point of remembering it all.
Whether it's because they take time to remember the good in the bad, or because they actually write it down, it doesn't matter. They have the little things that make them remember what they saw in their partner from the very beginning that made them fall head over heels.
6. Make it a point to resolve any resentment
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Resentment is an emotion that will kill both attraction and relationships if it continues to go unchecked. But whether it's taking responsibility for their actions or creating a safe space for communication with their partner, women who are still attracted to their husbands after years do these ordinary things that mean everything.
It's so important to nip resentment in the bud as soon as possible. This is something that builds up when expectations aren't met, when people feel ignored, and when problems go unsolved.
7. Frequently trade compliments
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People often forget how important whispering sweet compliments to others is, especially when it comes to long-term relationships. Even if it's easy to assume that a partner knows how you feel about them, the truth is that hearing it makes a world of difference.
Women who remain attracted to their spouses are women who are complimented often and also give compliments to their spouses. As relationship coach Jordan Gray explained, "There are things your partner needs to hear you say on a consistent basis in order to feel deeply loved. Some they know about and some they don't. Communication is key in intimate relationships, and it helps to be intentional about telling your partner what they need to hear from you."
8. Try new things together
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One of the easiest hacks for relationships is to introduce a little novelty into your life on a regular basis. Novelty helps build new memories and closeness between partners. So, whether you're choosing to try swing dancing for the first time or going to that new arcade around the corner from you, it doesn't matter.
What does matter is that it's new, exciting, and will give you something to talk about. That alone can help improve your relationship in ways you didn't know were possible.
9. Think about what could have been if they were single
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The dating world today is tricky to navigate. And though wives who are attracted to their husbands after years of being together don't miss the single life, they might sometimes wonder what could have been had they not settled down. When they experience arguments or bad times in their relationship, they think of past exes or people they met before their husband.
But this alone isn't a bad thing. In fact, when wives do this, it reminds them of just how lucky they are to be in a happy, healthy marriage now. It makes them think, "Wow, I don't want to experience that again." And they understand how much a little gratitude does for them.
10. Split the housework
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Whether it's taking turns vacuuming the living room, washing dishes, or taking out the trash, women who are still attracted to their husbands after years do these ordinary things that mean everything. A tired wife is a wife who won't have the energy to be attracted to her husband, even if she wanted to be. But research has shown that men who partake in household chores tend to have better love lives than those who don't.
Additionally, a 2020 study determined that couples with an unequal division of labor often suffer from resentment, low relationship satisfaction, and stress. So, wives who insist on having husbands share the workload tend to be happier wives and more loving to their partners.
11. Stick to their boundaries
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Though you can have all the healthy practices in the world, the truth is that you cannot force a man to treat you well. You can't force a man to love you back, either. And even if you want to make things work with all your heart, you can't hold up a relationship alone. For wives who are still attracted to their husbands, they set boundaries around the amount of effort each partner puts into the marriage.
When they notice that their husband isn't pulling his weight or carrying some emotional labor, they clearly state their needs. They make it a point to communicate calmly without "keeping score" or making him feel guilty.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
