People Who Do 6 Simple Things When They're Falling In Love Have Better, Longer Relationships
Getty Images | Unsplash Love is supposed to be crazy and irrational. At least, that’s what we believe. Every time we see the object of our affection, we go mad with feelings. We want to keep beholding them until we are satisfied. Often, we believe this is love, but at first it's simple infatuation. People who have long-lasting relationships know the difference.
One crucial distinction between love and infatuation is that when a person is infatuated with someone, the focus will merely be on what the other person makes you feel, and you don’t even care about the reciprocation of feelings.
How do you know if you are infatuated or if you are really in love? Are you confusing love with infatuation?
Some of these signs of infatuation are closely similar to love. Let’s help you differentiate them. Once you can see the difference, you can build stronger relationships that last longer.
People who do these 6 things when they're falling in love have better, longer relationships
1. They wait for feelings that slowly unfold
What infatuation looks like: When you are infatuated with someone, you will be overcome with profoundly crippling emotions associated with your object of affection. These emotions will often come in waves and hit you right at the pit of your stomach, sometimes making you feel sick with feelings.
What love looks like: When you love someone, your feelings for them slowly unfold. They never make you feel insane, crazy, or off the grid. Love makes you feel calm, composed, and settled. It soothes you.
2. They love without needing to control
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What infatuation looks like: When you are infatuated with someone, you want to own them. Every person who gets close to your love object instigates jealousy in you. You wish to be in their mind 24/7 and want all of their undivided attention. You are overcome with extreme jealousy, even if someone else looks at them.
What love looks like: Love is wild. When you love someone, you are not scared to lose them, as you do not even wish to possess them. You give them the space to bloom to their fullest, at their own pace. You set them free.
3. They know they will be OK on their own
What infatuation looks like: Infatuation will break you down with the fear and anxiety of losing that person. You will worry and overthink every trivial action and word on their part. Your life will center around the object of your affection as you find yourself preoccupied with recurrent thoughts of them.
What love looks like: Love does not fear the loss of your beloved. Yes. You read it right. Whether you are ready to believe this or not, if you love someone, you will never be scared of losing them. Sure, you want them to be around, but you know you will be OK if they were not.
You know this person is ingrained in each and every one of your molecules, and no physical loss can separate you both. No matter who they are with, what they are thinking of, or what they are doing, you will love them anyway.
4. They don't expect perfection
What infatuation looks like: When you are infatuated with someone, you will believe that your object of affection is a personification of perfection. They are the image of an ideal partner, your dream lover. Their smile, their eyes, nose, lips, personality, and everything else is your muse. Everything about them is perfect, flawless, and supreme.
What love looks like: When you love someone, you feel like the other person is nothing near perfect; nevertheless, you admire everything about them. You accept them the way they are. You love their flaws and scars. No matter what they are, they are the ruler of your heart.
5. They don't put on a show with their love
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What infatuation looks like: Infatuation makes your feelings go haywire. Often, when these intense feelings are not reciprocated, the person might become self-critical, self-destructive, and wallow in self-pity. If your beloved ever shows you a distant sign of rejection, it kills your self-esteem.
What love looks like: When you are in love, you feel like an extension of the other person, and hence, you care not to destroy yourself when you are hurt by the other person. You have a deep sense of connection and understanding, which pervades silly behaviors, like performing antics to get the other person’s attention or destroying oneself.
6. They feel secure and nurture that security
What infatuation looks like: When you are infatuated with someone, you are bound to be insecurely attached to that person. Insecure attachment comes from the very fear of abandonment. You are always scared of your beloved having the power to devastate you by leaving you.
What love looks like: When you love someone, your biggest strength is your beloved. No matter what they do and whether they are present with you or not, you care for them, wish them well, and pray for their well-being.
Love is hard to find, but once you do, you will feel secure and at peace with the person you love. You won’t have to constantly worry about them cheating at your back or that they'll drive you "insane."
Love isn’t madness. It is not self-destructive. Never.
If you are still under the conception that love is true only when it’s killing you, draining the blood off you, you are to immediately isolate the idea. When you are in love with someone, they become your inspiration and your reason to grow and develop spiritually.
Love does not kill. Love builds. Love takes time to grow. Infatuation will eventually grow out someday.
One needs some time to let the seed of love sprout.
Shreyasi Debnath is an editor and writer keeping a keen interest in painting, creative writing and reading.
