Your Parents Raised You Right If You Think These 11 Rare Habits Are Actually Mandatory
Even if they're not 'required,' these habits are still important and impactful.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A | Shutterstock While parenting styles and lessons have certainly shifted over the last few decades, there are some constant beliefs and foundations that continue to positively serve and influence adult children of any generation. From building trust in relationships, to actively listening, and expressing gratitude, your parents raised you right if you think these rare habits are actually mandatory.
Of course, many of our behaviors and habits as adults are rooted in our childhood experiences, like a study from the BMC Public Health suggests. We pick up on modeled behaviors from our parents, build our value systems as we grow up, and often develop coping mechanisms and routines as a result of our upbringing. So, if you're constantly succeeding at work, developing great connections, and boasting a secure sense of self-worth, you may have a lot to thank your parents for.
Your parents raised you right if you think these 11 rare habits are actually mandatory
1. Disconnecting from your phone at dinner
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According to a study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, the mere presence of a phone in a conversation, regardless of whether or not it's being actively used, can sabotage healthy connection and bonding. We perceive people in a more negative light when their phone is present during our conversations, but especially so when it's actively distracting them from being an active listener.
If you're having a conversation with someone, be present. Show up for them, ask thoughtful questions, and focus on listening to them. It not only helps to make them feel heard and valued in important ways, like a PLOS One study suggests, it also bolsters a more positive vibe and culture in your relationship.
2. Actively listening
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Outside of simply not using your phone in conversation, one of the rare habits that are actually mandatory if your parents raised you right is being present in conversations and a great active listener. While the practice of active listening looks different for everyone, it revolves around one simple theme: don't simply wait for your turn to speak.
What does "waiting for your turn to speak" mean? Well, people who aren't great listeners find it difficult to hear what the people around them are saying in conversation because they're overly concerned with what they're going to say, how they're going to respond, or how they can participate in a social interaction. For some people, this behavior isn't entirely in their control, but for others, it's rooted in narcissism or self-centeredness.
People feel much more comfortable, safe, and appreciated in a conversation when they can tell they're being heard, which is why this is one of the rare habits that can truly mean the most.
3. Saying 'thank you'
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Despite being ingrained in gratitude practices, parenting lessons, and traditional etiquette, people using basic manners like saying "please" and "thank you" are steadily declining across age groups, at least according to a study from Social Psychology Quarterly.
While this shift is somewhat societal, rooted in our competitive and individualistic culture, other studies show that it may simply be a collective underestimation of how powerful phrases like "thank you" truly are. It's not just a way to build better relationships through gratitude, it's also impactful for personal well-being and self-esteem.
Your parents raised you right if you think saying "thank you" is actually mandatory, because it's more rare in today's world than you might realize.
4. Letting people off the elevator
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From holding open doors to letting someone skip the line at the grocery store with fewer items, there are a number of social rules and expectations that manifest as small acts of kindness in our world. Of course, they're not always essential, but they can help to build self-esteem, contribute to connection, and help people feel valued when they're used in the right way.
Another one of the rare habits that are actually mandatory if your parents raised you right is letting people off of an elevator before you get in. It seems like a simple and innocent practice, but it truly is a way to express respect, even to strangers you don't know.
5. Pushing your chair back in
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When you get up from a table, what's the first thing you do? If your parents raised you right, chances are you push your chair back in or put it back where it came from. There's a common understanding behind many of the rare habits that bond strangers in society: if you don't do it, someone else will have to.
From bringing back a grocery cart, to cleaning up your trash, and even helping servers with dirty dishes at a restaurant, the little things that you make a second of time to complete can have a positive impact and ripple effect on more than just you and the people in your life.
6. Apologizing
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Despite being difficult and at times uncomfortable, practicing the art of taking accountability is essential for personal growth and the well-being of your relationships. Owning up to mistakes opens up opportunities for you to grow, but being able to admit when you're wrong to others bonds you closer and builds trust.
Of course, truly apologizing is one of the rare habits that not many people are entirely comfortable with doing, even in relationships with people they love and trust. Whether they recognize it or not, they've built up emotional walls and coping mechanisms that push them away from vulnerability and accountability.
However, your parents raised you right if you think these rare habits are actually mandatory, not just because they taught you how to be comfortable in your skin, but because they urged you to get out of that comfort zone and practice hard, yet necessary, habits.
7. Tipping appropriately
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While the rules may be unclear and the societal pressures harsh, tipping culture is importantly integrated with themes of community, respect, and service. By tipping 20% when they go to restaurants and appropriately to other service workers, the most thoughtful and respectful people look out for others.
It's one of the rare habits that people raised right believe are actually mandatory. If they don't have the money to go out and tip, they won't go out. If they believe someone deserves a better tip, they'll give it.
8. Holding the door
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Even though the majority of people acknowledge that holding the door open for someone is a kind act of service, even for strangers that you don't know, not everyone is making it a priority. In fact, according to a survey from YouGov, 30% of Americans have even tried to actively close an elevator door in front of other people.
Your parents raised you right if you think these rare habits — like holding open an elevator door or pushing in your seat — are actually mandatory, not just to protect yourself from being perceived negatively, but to truly respect and offer kindness to the people around you.
9. Bringing something for a host
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Whether it's a surprise gift, a bouquet of flowers, or a dish to pass, people raised right always bring something when they're invited to a party or someone's else's home, unless they were specifically told not to.
Of course, they know to always bring something that requires no effort. If your host has to spend time finding a vase for flowers or cooking the dish you brought, you're actually adding work to their plate, but by bringing a bouquet already in water or a pre-cooked meal, you're making their lives a little easier.
10. Cleaning up after yourself
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Whether you're at home, a friend's house, or a restaurant, cleaning up after yourself should be a requirement, but it's quickly becoming one of the rare habits that only people who were raised right view as fundamentally mandatory.
It's a matter of respect — people who respect others, their spaces, and the environment won't leave a mess around for other people to take care of. Even if it's not literally "their job," they don't mind making other people's lives easier with a little bit of time and effort.
11. Letting people merge into traffic
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Whether or not you believe in the "zipper" of track and other merging patterns on the road, letting someone into traffic can be one of the rare habits that actually make a big difference in someone's life. Of course, there's a time and place for it — if it's not safe, then you're not doing anyone any favors by trying to let someone in.
However, if someone is waiting and you have the ability to let them into traffic — sometimes, helping them to merge safely — that's one of the rare habits people raised well make the time for.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
