Parents Who Raise Kids Who Excel In Every Aspect Of Their Lives Say They Do These 11 Things Differently
It all starts with the examples being set at home.
AYO Production / Shutterstock Experts and experienced parents alike point to a distinct set of behaviors that create the foundation for lifelong excellence. Professor Ronald Ferguson noted in The Harvard Gazette that the key to raising successful children is to focus on early intervention and cultivate a love of learning. By letting them learn how to do things on their own and navigate the world as you quietly stand in the background as a safety net to catch them if they fall.
Tuning into their interests and needs to support your child's own unique potential can also help make them resilient. This type of approach blends structure and flexibility. This is what parents who raise kids who excel in every aspect do differently. The ability to make life a fun yet practical experience for their children.
Parents who raise kids who excel in every aspect of their lives say they do these 11 things differently
1. They let them figure things out for themselves
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Allowing your child to figure things out on their own can make them more reliant on themselves and help them form a sense of competency. A study published in Child Development found that parents who offered their children choices with limits to practice their independence reported higher well-being for their children and themselves. These qualities help them navigate challenges and bounce back from setbacks.
When parents use this parenting style, they instill self-confidence and responsibility in their children rather than relying on constant intervention. Children learn to trust their own judgments and feel comfortable handling difficulties that arise from life. As adults, they become capable people who can adapt to sudden changes, which is a powerful skill to have.
2. They create a safe environment
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Creating a home that is safe and nurturing for a child, where they are protected, can make them feel secure. Through this security they're able to open up more about what they want in life and the struggles that they are going through. It's up to the parents to actively listen and continue to honor the trust in the child-parent relationship.
Safe and stable environments are essential in the development of a child's happiness. According to the Journal of Child and Family Studies, children who experience such environments are more likely to build healthy brain functions, perform better academically, and have higher emotional intelligence. When they are in an unsafe home then this can lead to negative impacts on their development. Parents who want their kids to excel would never compromise their health and well-being, but instead create a safe environment where they can thrive.
3. They praise them for their efforts
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Different types of parental praise during early childhood can have an impact as a child grows. In a study published in Developmental Psychology, it was revealed that toddlers who were given more process-oriented praise, such as acknowledging their efforts, were more likely to develop a growth mindset. Having this mindset later improved their academic performance.
When a child is praised for their diligence, they begin to associate success with controllable actions rather than fixed skills. Telling them that you're proud of how hard they worked on a project, rather than simply telling them that they are smart, can go a long way. Eventually, they will learn to value hard work and persistence rather than giving up on something when it gets too hard.
4. They read to them
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Consistently reading from infancy can create long-term academic success and improve literacy in children. A study published in Early Childhood Research Quarterly found that parents who read to their children for an average of 11 minutes per day during infancy positively predicted academic achievements in reading, spelling, grammar, and numeracy by grades three and five. By reading to your children regularly, you expose them to rich languages and complex ideas.
Parents who do this encourage their children to ask questions and make predictions of how the stories will go. They're suddenly able to draw connections between the stories and real life. This helps arm children with critical thinking skills, which is slowly being fazed out by society. Without literacy skills, children would not be able to excel in every aspect of their lives.
5. They raise them to be kind
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Parents who praise acts of kindness just as much as achievements are teaching their children that being thoughtful and considerate is a valuable skill to have in order to have a fulfilling life. In their homes, moral character is nurtured alongside intellect and talent. Whether it's helping out a classmate or volunteering, these parents want their children to have deep interpersonal relationships with other people.
By teaching that kindness is a fundamental value within the home, parents who want to raise exceptional kids make sure that their child's perception of themselves is strong. A study published in the Journal of Youth and Adolescence found that children whose parents emphasized pro-social values like kindness and respect had higher self-esteem and performed better academically. As adults, they not only achieve their goals but also uplift those around them with their kind words.
6. They teach them how to be accountable
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Parents set rules for their children to follow so that if they break them then they can be held accountable for it. It's not to punish them but to teach them a lesson about how real-life choices have far-reaching consequences. They ask them questions similar to an interrogation, even if they already know that the child has done something bad. Then they pick a punishment that fits based on whether the child has shown remorse for their actions.
Holding your children accountable can help them succeed in life. Priscilla S. Yau and her fellow researchers found that parenting practices that involved supportiveness, like setting clear rules, were the most effective in facilitating a child's academic achievements. This is why parents involve themselves in what their children are up to, because they simply want them to succeed in life.
7. They listen to them
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Parents are the first adults that children learn to trust in life. This trust is built by years of emotional conversations between the two parties. As the years pass, they show their children that their voice does matter both inside and outside of the home. Allowing them to share how they feel lets them sit with their emotions, whether they are positive or negative.
A parent wants their child to show these intense emotions so that they can have a better view of themselves and know who they are, so that strangers don't value their worth. A study published by Frontiers found that supportive conversation between a parent and their child could enhance the child's perception of themselves, which motivated them to do better in school. When children feel heard and understood, it will help them open up to their parents even more.
8. They guide them
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Parents who act like mentors to their children don't actually dictate or control their lives but instead encourage them to be independent. They help them by weighing their options on certain situations that they are dealing with. The parents know that those moments of seeking guidance from them are few and far between, so they make the most of the opportunity when it comes.
Rather than push for perfection, these parents want their children to make mistakes because they know that they will learn a lesson from them. If they did their job right, then they will see an active and positive change in their child that signals they are on the right path. Parents who raise exceptional children know that they were young once and probably did the same thing when they were their age.
9. They limit their screen time
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Limiting screen time has been shown to be beneficial to a child's brain development and sleep patterns. This is why parents who want them to excel in all aspects of life limit it to only a few occasions. Parents want their children to have real-world interactions rather than ones behind anonymity because it defeats the purpose of teaching them values and accountability.
Excessive use of technology in children is often associated with lower academic performance in reading and numeracy. Research from Australia found that watching more than two hours of television per day at ages 8 to 9 predicted a 12-point decrease in academic performance. The more limitations on the screen time, the better their children will be able to focus on other things in life. The world is full of adults who would rather hide behind a screen than actually make personal connections, and these parents know that.
10. They don't save them from their consequences
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When children are allowed to reflect on their choices, they begin to understand how their actions affect others. However, when a parent makes it their job to step in whenever their child does something wrong, then it can hinder their growth. As Michael Ungar, Ph.D., explains, parents who shield their children from facing consequences can ruin their development of dependency and responsibility.
Instead of learning and growing from the experience, they will expect you to bail them out of certain situations. This often creates entitled children who have a victim mentality, where other people are blamed for their failures. Parents who want their children to excel in all aspects of their lives include their right to make choices and face the consequences should they make the wrong one.
11. They set an example for them
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Everything a child learns begins in the home, and parents who set a good example will have their children excelling in all aspects of life. They're aware that children are impressionable and copy everything they hear or see. This is why they go out of their way to do all of the right things. Showing them what hard work is, having respectful conversations with others, or even showing empathy can influence how their children view them.
Practicing what you preach is the easiest way to get your child to do something that you want them to do. It's not about turning your child into a carbon copy of you, but showing them that there is always another way that is good for them and others. These are the qualities that are instilled by parents in their exceptional children.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
