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Men Who Know How To Drive A Woman Wild Do This One Ridiculously Hot Thing

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How To Please A Woman & Be Dominant In Bed, As Informed By BDSM Definitions
Sex

Opposite energies definitely attract.

Relationships are different for all couples, and there are a wide variety of sex tips one can call on in order to create being more passion, vulnerability and intimacy into your sex life. That said, one thing I have found to be fairly constant across relationships between people of all genders and sexual orientations is that opposites attract when it comes to masculine and feminine energies, and learning how to have sex in which you channel the polarity between these two energies can take you both to heightened levels of satisfaction.

The masculinity in you, regardless of your gender, is the part of you that could penetrate, i.e., make an impact and take the lead as the dominant partner in the bedroom.

The femininity in you, also regardless of your gender, is the part that can receive, i.e., allow yourself to be affected and to follow as the submissive partner in the bedroom.

Concepts and definitions drawn from the BDSM lifestyle, and popularized by 50 Shades of Grey, illustrate the magnetic power of such opposite energies, which holds true outside the realm of BDSM and kink as well.

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Differences between people are magnetically attractive, whereas being too similar in this regard leads relationships that may have started out with romantic potential down a strictly platonic road.

Important note: From this point on I will be using hetero-normative language, but these concepts apply to relationships between people of any sexual orientation and gender.

Equality is extremely important in areas such as wages, opportunities to advance within companies and decision-making in just about all facets of life. However, in the bedroom, we want to create polarity, i.e., a push and pull between the powerful differences between the two people — what those in the BDSM community often refer to as a total power exchange, aka TPE.

Many women wind up taking on the masculine role in the bedroom, as well as outside of it, because they have husbands who do not lead in any way. They do not initiate dates. They do not initiate touch. And at the first sign of rejection from a woman, they may even go into a shell in order to protect themselves.

In most of these cases, the women desperately want the man to lead and not be so easily discouraged.

Let me be clear here. A man needs to accept a “No,” and not be cruel or violating in any way if a woman doesn't want to go along with his wishes.

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What I am saying, rather, is that he needs to be persistent and not withdraw. Even better, after a complaint or a rejection from the women he's with, he should stay connected and LISTEN to what his partner needs to express.

Listening is one of the most "masculine" things anyone can do, as the message sent with true listening is, “I am here for you and I don’t need your approval. Instead, I give you my undivided attention and acceptance for wherever you are.”

Being masculine means that you give approval and you do not crave it or collapse when you don’t get it yourself. It means tuning in to the physical needs of your partner, and being sensitive to how she would like to be touched.

It means finding out what SHE needs in order to feel aroused or to have an orgasm.

You lead and she follows. Enjoy her pleasure, and she will be sure to pay attention to your pleasure as well.

Of course, it can be just as exciting at times to have the woman lead and the man surrender control. As long as this works for you as a couple, go with it. I'm simply saying that most heterosexual women want to feel their man’s strength and leadership in the area of physical intimacy at least some of the time.

When a man does this, he allows for her femininity, along with many healthy hormones, to flow, which leads to improved emotional, physical and sexual health for both people.

In both situations, the power differential can make sex far more arousing and exciting for each of you.

As long as undertaken consciously and with respect for one another, the interactions can be fluid and evolving for both.

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Todd Creager is an expert in relationships. For over 30 years, he has worked as a relationship therapist, specializing in marriage, sex, and couples counseling. For more information, drop him an e-mail.

This article was originally published at Todd Creager's Website. Reprinted with permission from the author.

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