6 Questions To Ask On A First Date To Avoid Being BLINDSIDED Later

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6 Questions to Avoid a Dating Blindside

Why do your dates just disappear?

Have you ever experienced this?

You’re dating someone and just as you think the relationship is going great... BAM! Your date starts to pull away. The texts and phone calls slow to a halt and he/she becomes unreliable. Suddenly, you are left wondering what happened.

Oh yes, I’ve been there, and it sucks. One of the main reasons I see this happening to my clients is people are not asking the right questions at the right time. They get lose their power and don’t have any idea how their relationships are actually going.

Some people assume how things are going, which leaves them in the dark and confused. Don’t put yourself "in the dark" place.

My suggestion for avoiding these scenarios is to ask better questions. Of course, you're asking questions to get to know this person. But, most likely, you're not asking questions specific to the two of you and the status of your dating situation.

To be able to ask these questions, most people must give up the fear of what the answers will be. In fact, you may be afraid to even ask the questions! Fear usually stops you in your tracks.

However, not asking these questions opens the door to the "in the dark" place and possible the disappearing act, and we don't want that!

My other suggestion is to be tougher. What do I mean by that? Develop a thicker skin. If the other person allows you to think things are going well and then disappears without honoring you and telling you why, you have to ask yourself if you really want that kind of person in your life. Do you? Nope.

Until I got better at asking stellar questions, I had men come and go, which left me baffled, dazed and pissed off. When I started asking these questions, men knew I was a woman who was NOT to be messed with.

These kinds of games didn’t faze me anymore because I knew the man I wanted to be with would be reliable, in constant communication, and answer my questions with integrity. Remember, how and when he/she answers your questions and what they say will communicate a lot to you.

The question is, are you asking and then listening?

I had a man leave me and then want to come back. By then, I was happily married. Sorry, Charlie.

Personally, I think his behavior was a big sign that he was not ready to be in a mature relationship. Now, the worst thing you can think of when the other person vanishes is that you did something wrong. As humans, we do tend to beat ourselves up.

Be kind and gentle to yourself, or dating will drive you nuts. Remember, the biggest skill for you to learn is to ask better questions next time. I’d imagine you stepped over something in the dating process. If you didn’t, and he/she disappeared, wave goodbye. Next!

To prevent this blatant disappearing act in the future, I encourage you to ask more direct questions. Be polite while asking, but get these things flat on the date. It’s your heart we are dealing with and you matter.

Here are six great and important questions to ask on a first date:

  1. "I’m curious, are you seeing anyone else or are we dating exclusively?"
  2. "I'm not sure when to bring this up, so I thought I’d ask. Are you currently sleeping with anyone else or just me?"
  3. "I’m curious, are you interested in just dating and playing the field or are you looking for a healthy relationship that could lead to marriage?"
  4. "When people disappear without any communication, I find it very odd. I’m curious, are you prone to that behavior or can I count on you to be honest and upfront with me?"  If he/she answers "yes", ask, "What would make you go away?"
  5. "I’m having a great time getting to know you. I’m curious, what is it you like about me?"
  6. "I’ve noticed that people tend to go away when they want to say something but they are a little scared. Do you know it’s okay for you to say whatever’s on your mind to me?" 

By the way, you can never go wrong with multiple-choice questions.

Hopefully, what you're hearing (and what they hear) as you ask these questions is that you're looking for information from them in a safe way, not as a strategy or manipulation.

It’s important you understand these things about a future partner. It’s your dating life, and it should be important for you to know these things.

When you step over these key subjects and don't ask these kinds of questions is when you can be left in the dark, crawling around feeling blind. That’s the worse thing you can do to yourself.

Asking these questions shines light on topics critical to know. Does it take courage and confidence to ask them? Absolutely.

However, if you want a healthy fulfilling relationship, you must learn to ask certain questions. Most people actually appreciate clarity, if they do not think they are being grilled.

By being a person who can ask questions, you demonstrate that you are someone who honors and loves yourself. Based on the information you receive from the other person, you can decide whether to pursue the relationship or not. That’s the ultimate goal!