5 Ways To Save Your Own Marriage, According To Hollywood

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5 Hollywood Secrets to Save your Own Marriage

There's the reel world and the real world.

I've worked with Hollywood celebrities in the reel world and I work with clients who live in the real world too. Successful long-term marriages require certain common factors and you have better odds if you are NOT a fabulous celebrity.

The challenges that most celebrity couples face are more difficult than those of the average couple yet many of them succeed and create long-term marriages and partnerships and you can do it too. 

Life for them is like being on a strict medical diet and living in an ice cream parlor or needing to avoid alcohol to survive and living next to a popular bar.

Life for a celebrity can become one long schedule of A-List VIP rooms where gorgeous new wannabes are trolling for your husband or wife. Marla Martenson, Beverly Hills Matchmaker often matches beautiful women with the wealthiest men;

"It seems thrilling at first, the rush at the realization that a man who can have any woman in the universe has picked you, and now at your fingertips are midnight nibbles on caviar, la Perla Panties and gold flecked whipped cream spritzed on your cupcakes," she said.

"I gently explain that while it may sound enticing and fabulous to be shuttled around the globe on the arm of one of these over-achievers, there is no free ticket.

Billionaires have large egos; they are used to getting anything and everything they want and billionaires date the most exquisite women on the planet so be ready to run, run, run on that hamster wheel to keep up. And beware, that trophy man can easily feel like an albatross, hanging around your neck and choking you."

But the successful Hollywood couple is very careful to spend a lot of time with happy couples that they know. This is how to save your marriage, Hollywood style:

1. Consider your marriage a sacred commitment, not a whim.


If you have a deep religious conviction (also unusual in Hollywood), then it’s easier.

And the famous and temporary solution that Jane Fonda created for her marriage to Ted Turner ("We will never spend one night apart") became a prison sentence for her so that she finally gave up and divorced and was replaced by three simultaneous pretty and available young blonde women.

And we now know that sex addiction is not confined to the rich and famous. It’s all around us.

2. Limit your travel and absence from home.

Many success stories depend on celebrities doing everything they can to keep their marriage and family together. 

If you have a successful career and your partner does too, then can you take turns compromising? If not, do you have the communication skills you need to eliminate resentment since an argument late at night often leads to an episode of cheating?

3. Give up extremely lucrative opportunities and put your marriage first.


If you think it’s hard to give up a business op that would be fun or that would pay $30,000 imagine if it were a film or concert tour that would earn you $30,000,000!

The successfully married people don’t consider this "giving up"; they happily choose marriage because it is simply more important to them.  

And if you think that they can afford to give a career opportunity a miss they have so much pressure to constantly be available to the PR machine while you and I can make up for lost time with ease. 

4. Keep special events each year as "sacred" for the family

Every family needs special traditions that become more valuable and heart-centered over time. Whether it’s Christmas morning and looking at their children's’ faces or Father’s Day fishing trips the more of these special memories that you build the easier it is to stay together.

5. Remain calm and committed even when they facing gossip.


Your ability to focus on what you DO want — love, intimacy, monogamy, peace at home etc. — means that you can see your partner’s behaviors that you don’t enjoy and not let it overwhelm you.

In any long-term relationship, you need to "take the temperature" of your partner and look at ways to make life more wonderful for yourself, for your partner and for your children and pets because their joy becomes your joy.

The couples that don't make it either lack the commitment to make it, lack the partner with whom they can merge, two into one, or at least one of the two has emotional issues and moods.

In Hollywood, where the Talent is able to emote from 0 to 60 in under a minute, the biggest challenge they face when the cameras aren’t rolling is that no one wants to live with a diva.

The same is true for rock stars and if you are thinking of the amazing life you would have with a celebrity please remember that many spouses must combine a loving marriage with becoming the support that a Life Coach offers.

If you're thinking that your relationship is Hell but life with your favorite star would be one long red carpet, please know that this stressful life leaves little time for peace and intimacy.

When you’re not fending off the competition, you’re exercising so that you can eat a little and remain tiny and within the equally tiny desirable range of size 0 to size 2. And remember in the upper echelons of American high stakes dating this is a non-negotiable component.

Susan Allen is a certified Mediator and Communication Expert. If your marriage is at risk, learn if your marriage qualifies for reconciliation, or to schedule a complimentary phone session, please visit Heart Space Solutions.