QUIZ: Are You & Your Lover Connected?


Are you and your partner truly connecting, soul to soul? Take the quiz to find out!

Answer each question spontaneously and honestly. Then total your score to see if you and your lover are surfing the same wavelength or headed down Denial River.

1. When your partner calls, you:

a. Often get a feeling that the call is coming beforehand.

b. Sense how he or she is feeling, then try to find out if that is so.

c. Realize that you hadn't even thought of him or her for a while.

2. If your partner's life were a mirror of yours, what it would reflect most is:

a. Your lifestyles, tastes and the activities you most enjoy.

b. Your ideas about marriage and a family.

c. The things you would like to learn and the ways you want to grow.

3. Before you see your love, you most often sense if he or she is/will be:

a. Smiling and easy-going.

b. Emotionally changeable.

c. Distracted and distant.

4. Imagine that your partner has become the very air that fills the space around you now. Close your eyes and take a long, deep breath  filling yourself with that loving air from the tips of your toes to the top of your head. In what part of you do you feel his or her energy most:

a. Your head.

b. Your heart.

c. Somewhere south of the border.

5. There are moments when your partner seems to tune you out while you're talking. When this happens, your first response is that you:

a. Become irritated that he or she can't stay engaged.

b. Sense that he or she must be tired or distracted and let the conversation drop.

c. Ask what's on his or her mind.

6. Close your eyes and imagine that your partner is a map of the world. How much have you discovered:

a. There are vast, uncharted places still to find.

b. Enough to know the lay of the land.

c. Every path's been taken, and the world's starting to seem a little flat.

7. When your partner pushes your power-struggle buttons, you first:

a. Respond with an upper cut and a right hook.

b. Look inside to find out why you feel vulnerable and defensive.

c. Shut down and give the silent treatment.

8. Think about how the two of you talk together, how much you share, and what you feel. Close your eyes and imagine that your self-expression is a river flowing out of you and towards your partner. Feel it completely and honestly. Do you feel:

a. A strong current, feeling free to flow without restraint?

b. A trickling brook, rolling through the twists and turns as you flow downstream?

c. Busy building a dam to hold yourself back?

9. When you have a disagreement, whether it's low energy or loud, do you:

a. Try to push your point of view?

b. Calm yourself and become the peacemaker?

c. Step back to create a new perspective of both positions?

10. Close your eyes as you think about where your relationship is heading. Really focus on your future together for several moments. Imagine that you see a door that leads to this future. Where do you see it:

a. To the right of you?

b. Directly in front of you?

c. To the left of you?

11. When one of you suddenly wants to change plans at the last minute, the other usually:

a. Refuses to go along for the ride.

b. Gives the green light, but spends the night seeing red.

c. Considers the new agenda with enthusiasm.

12. Close your eyes and imagine that there is a cord of light that connects the two of you. What color is it:

a. Blue.

b. Yellow.

c. Red.


1. a-1   b-2   c-0 2.   a-1   b-0   c-2 3.   a-2   b-1   c-0

4. a-1   b-2   c-0 5.   a-0   b-1   c-2 6.   a-2   b-1   c-0

7. a-0   b-2   c-1 8.   a-1   b-2   c-0 9.   a-0   b-1   c-2

10. a-2   b-1   c-0 11. a-0   b-1   c-2 12. a-2   b-1   c-0

16 Points or More: Lovers & Psychic Sidekicks!

The two of you are so connected it would take an incision to get you out of each other's aura. You may not have recognized that your intuition has increased your intimacy because you might not use such labels. It is clear, though, that you would both like to know a greater meaning in life and that you expect to find it in yourselves and in each other.

While you do not go through life on automatic pilot, you have cultivated a sense of ease in your expression and communication with each other. This ease is a sign of the freedom you have to give your spirit a voice without censure, or fear of ridicule. So, continue to trust yourselves and trust each other. When you nurture your attitudes of discovery and spontaneity, your lives will seem like a treasure hunt, and you will find a whole new world every day.

7-15 Points: Intuitive Room to Grow

Though you may often feel strongly connected, there is still a lot more that the two of you can do to forge a stronger link between you. We all have a tendency to fall into habits that can lead to inertia. And when you see this happening in your relationship, you need to look at these old habits from new angles. New viewpoints help to stimulate the perspective of the intuitive mind.

You can also begin to build a new, daily habit of connecting intuitively and emotionally through a little process that I call “Tuning In and Turning On.” Once a day, when the two of you are apart, take a moment to close your eyes and tune into each other. (It's not necessary to do this at a predetermined time.) Take a deep breath, and let yourselves begin to sense each other's feelings, energy, physical sensations, and even any images or symbols that might pop into your mind at this time. Make a note of when you did this and what you perceived. Take a few minutes later to share what you experienced. Be careful not to view yourself as “wrong” if your perceptions don't match your partner's experiences exactly. Some of the images you perceived may be about a later time; so, watch for it. Look for feelings, and build your trust in those feelings. If you keep opening yourself to knowing your partner from this perspective, you will each begin to see the other and your relationship in a new way. Finally, if you do this process every day, you will begin to turn on your intuitive radar in other areas of your life as well. Insight, understanding, and a new confidence in all your decision-making will be at hand!

6 Points or Fewer: Missing the Link

With this score you could be connecting on some levels, but there are obstacles in your way, too. Indeed, you may be perpetuating some patterns which could be more negative than helpful. You might be settling out of fear of being alone. Or, perhaps, you are pursuing a match that might have once lit your fire but now could burn you. Have you been silencing your own intuitive voice about this relationship? Consider what motivates you to stay in it. Be honest. Is he or she really a kindred spirit or more of a hindrance to yours?