Manuscript Found: Ancient Eccentric Sex Priestess Speaks To Couples

Sex

  By Shana B. Stanberry Sc.D.

Introduction to the 12 Nights- spoken by the ancient guide.

They came to me. These many couples who sought solace for their pain and instruction in skills to create more intimacy, more depth, more juice.  They sought a way to communicate their love so it could be received.  They sought to fulfill their yearning to be intimate and loving without bounds.  They sought to give to one another in a way that brought the fullness of each other’s gifts to the world. 

I received them in my chambers.  I listened to their stories, the twisting and turnings of their lives.  I listened to the infidelities of body or simply of mind.  I heard the details spoken and implied of fumbling attempts to please and pleasure.  I recognized their despair and their courage.  I saw the hope and the fear.  I prayed to be the channel for what they needed.  I felt them as myself in many moments of my own struggle determined to learn the arts of love that our culture does not teach.  I knew they would triumph because they loved deeply and had enough faith in their love to surrender the ego in service of this love. I also knew it would be a challenging task for them to unlearn the patterning absorbed from media in lieu of skilled sexual guidance.  And they all knew, somewhere in the deep recesses of their consciousness, that the best sex was when they were expressing the pure divine love of which each of us is capable,

Who These Writings Are For

  You have started reading. You are curious.   It is a book about the nature of the intimate relationship.  It is a book for all the couples that I will not get to see in my chambers.  It is for you who have never been taught the details of sexuality and the ways of men and women that make intimacy a dance of love instead of a power struggle. And yet you must judge for yourself because this journey is not for everyone. For some it will feel too scary, or too unconventional.  While some gay and lesbian couples might find familiar patterns reflected here others may not relate to masculine and feminine terminology.  Do not abuse yourself by feeling obligated to swallow these herbs merely because they have landed in your lap if they are not what you need at this time.

   If you are single, if you are married, if you are a new couple or a couple with many years of water beneath the bridge, these are conversations filled with artful recipes and daring invitations to expand and renew the moments of deep connection and soul food long sought.

   If you have often wondered “what is wrong with me?” These conversations point to the many outdated scripts that need revision in order to attract the partner and cultivate the intimacy for which you long.

Introduction For The Men

As your Guide, please don’t consider me your lover.  As your lover I would never want to tell you this much or be this direct.  It would ruin the sexual chemistry for sure.  I will be your Guide in this sometimes treacherous sometimes serene landscape of love.  I will point out what your lover could not: that she longs in her heart for you to already know her deepest yearning for you to be the man you were born to be.  For you to embody the trust in yourself so she could trust you fully.  For you to be willing to claim her as your woman and want to serve and cherish her as much as she wants to serve and adore you.  As your lover she would want you to know how to walk into the room and show her with your gaze that you have the capacity to stay present with her no matter what mood or what circumstances arise.  As your lover she would want you to know how and when and where to make love to her so that any resistance that may arise in her body or mind would wilt like a bud without water. And there is more… but we will get to that later.

So consider me the Guide you would have longed for in those early teenage years of uncertainty searching for clarity amongst those equally bewildered.  Searching in the library surreptitiously looking under the references for sex.  Peeking into your parents’ night tables for adult magazines.

Or consider me the consort your father has chosen for you at a young age, were it another time and place.  She would have taught you many intimate details about the ways of woman equipping you with skills to understand her needs and teaching you how to evoke deep passion and surrender in your beloved. .   You do not have to be a different man nor have a different body, nor have loved your mother more or your first love less.  You have only to commit yourself to the path of love.

You may also consider me a confidant of your lover.  Someone who knows her better perhaps than she knows herself.   I will share with you what she dares not.

 As your guide I will share with you the wisdom of the goddess traditions which see the divine male essence in each and every one of you.  In my chambers I have learned your greatest weaknesses and glimpsed the shadows you hide from in your own heart.  I have heard your stories of the burden of your betrayals. Rather than endorse your guilt I would have you know that what you want from your intimate partner is what she longs to give you.  You have only to learn how to embody who you are.

Really you have everything you need to reach your highest aspirations. With guidance and intention you can deepen into your vision and open your woman into the radiant feminine being for whom you long.

Introduction for the Women

Ah, come to me sweet sister.  Eyes overflowing with disappointment.  Longing unfulfilled.  Yearning unmet. Love given and given or withheld and withheld as armor ineptly constructed to protect against vulnerability.  Did you ever see a flower become a stone to hide from approaching footsteps?  It cannot be done.  You are a flower whether your judging mind has ceased to inhale your fragrance or not.  All you have done is hidden from yourself and made yourself weary.  Sure some of it might be his fault, his betrayal of his own ability to love that has continuously hurt you and trampled your gentle offering.  But it is also you who has abandoned your feminine fragrance.  I would love to help you take the glass protection from around your radiant petals and allow you to inhale the bright sun and the damp night if you will let me…and thus I have come to you.

Have you ever felt that rage at your man? The rage that wells up from your belly and if you would allow it, it would flow out through your strong feminine arms and pummel him with everything you’ve got? Have you ever felt that disappointment that makes you want to curl up and hide or worse give up on him altogether?  Have you ever felt that longing that he could see how you wanted him to be in his power, unafraid of your emotion, your gush of loveforce, your sexual appetite?  I know. I want to support your man in learning how to receive your love in all its many forms. 

It has been an evolutionary process: your robust escapades into the world beyond chivalry.  And now it is time to once again and yet from the new place of wholeness and strength to choose to be the woman (the feminine pole) in your intimate partnership.  Choose to feel your disappointment and become aware that within it is the seed of your desire for him to come toward you. Within this disappointment is the seed of your desire for him to honor your delicate human heart and your infinite enduring strength of love as well.  The seed of your desire for him to enter you physically and develop his capacity to invite your total surrender.  This seed of your desire is the outstretched hand of these pages.  In every moment whether running headlong into his arms or viscously blaming him for his selfish sexuality this seed of desire to merge with him can be discovered and offered.  With this seed as your offering he will be compelled to discover his own desire to nourish your feminine heart deeply….. or not.  If he does not you must trust that it will be all right.  At least now you have the backbone to hold yourself up in the world if you choose to walk away.  Your next choice of a man will be from a truer and wiser place within you now that you know what it is you truly want.

I look deep into your eyes and stop in mid sentence.  I see the weariness, the vacant resignation.  Soo much jargon and philosophy has been showered upon your brain that you have become hopeless of ever sorting it out into your own true experience.

I do not want to be another voice spouting lines in some ancient dialect from a ragged script. Let us do this a different way.

 I will take you and your man on a twelve-night treasure hunt.  The treasures are to be uncovered from his very own inner shrine and offered to you as gifts from his heart and his honoring of you as his mate.    What I would ask of you my woman of the millennium, is to allow me to prepare you each night to receive his gift. In your inherent radiant and spring fed soul you shall reside like the princess being showered by the suitor who deems himself worthy of your fine caresses.   Then from this quiet moonlit balcony you will be able to know in the deep crevices of your being whether these gifts nurture you or not. You will choose whether these gifts delight your heart, whether they invite the full passion of your feminine sexuality and beckon your reluctant lips to soften. Whether they trample your hard earned equality or whether they raise you up to a new level of equality in which your seed of desire is planted in the fertile soil of his adoration and flowers into the tender prose of sacred vows infused into mundane moments.  You will know.

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