7 Crucial Things You Must Know About Yourself Before You Commit

Love, Heartbreak

Before you jump into another relationship, commit to truly knowing yourself first.

  1. Are you truly ready for a relationship with real commitment? The answer will not pop up all of a sudden—you've got to feel it in your heart, and if you have even an iota of doubt, postpone making the decision. Don't force the decision down your being. It's toxic to be in a relationship you are not yet ready for. Wait for your feelings to surface. You will hear a tiny voice inside you say a yes or no—listen to it.
  2. Ask yourself what is it you actually want from the relationship and why do you want it in the first place. Are you afraid of being tied down with one person for the rest of your life so you need time to think, or are you looking for validation of your own self via a relationship? Or, maybe you simply don't want to deal with the emotions that come as a part of the relationship package as of now.
  3. Know the difference between friendship, lust and love. Don't mix the three and expect a heady cocktail to make you high. Yes, you may need some time, but the sooner you get clarity, the better it is for you to attract the right relationship.
  4. How far are you willing to take responsibility for your own emotions without holding the other person responsible for altering your heart's landscape? Your emotions are yours. They may stem from other people's responses to you, but they are ultimately yours. Unless you accept complete responsibility for them and the consequences thereof, you are being juvenile, in a way, and need to grow up. You have a long way to go still.
  5. And the most crucial thing to consider is how your body feels around the person. Never underestimate the power of how someone's aura affects yours. How do their energies brighten or dull your energy levels? It's just not about the throes of passion that you feel around their presence but the physical comfort that you experience. It's about your body falling in place with his or her body like pieces of a puzzle, as if everything fits snugly. It's not a mere I-can't-wait-to-rip-off-your-clothes kind of madness but  I-can't–wait-to-see-your-naked-soul kind of longing. Your body tells you a lot, learn to listen carefully.
  6. Be very sure of what you want from your life. Your dreams and aspirations are cardinal to your existence as a human and the right relationship will fuel it rather than deplete it of the energy you need to make it blossom. Once you have clarity (even if it's hazy) about your life path and calling or even a sense of where you want to be, you will know whether the relationship is a long-term or a short-term one.
  7. Lastly, ask yourself, "Is it fear (of attachment, lust or dying single), escapism (from your own truth, from confronting your real self); lack of confidence (of not being able to make it work, of not being good enough for the other person), too much hurt (that has left you scarred and in pain) that's making me hesitant to commit or not commit?" The answers lie within you. You just have to search for them to reveal themselves to you.