2 Reasons Guys Send You Dick Pics — And The HILARIOUS Way To Stop It

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2 Reasons Why Guys Send Dick Pics — And How To Stop It

Seriously dudes, stop.

Why do guys send unsolicited dick pics? In the short history of texting, there's probably not one woman who's ever responded to an uninvited, unobstructed view of a man’s torpedo by exclaiming, “A dick pic! How thoughtful!” Yet it happens all the time. Women’s inboxes are filled with... uh, junk male.

How did this happen?  

First, you have to understand that men have been sending women dick pics since the dawn of genitalia. From ancient hieroglyphics to Greek vases to pressing parts into copy machines at drunken holiday office parties, men seem to have an urgent need to SHARE.

1. They honestly think you want to see their dick.

It's shocking — STARTLING — to receive unexpected dicks on your phone. What's worse than being out in public and BAM. Penis. You didn’t ask for it... or did you?

One of the top answers men gave in my informal poll is simply that they believed you wanted to see their manhood. See, in your mind, you thought sending a pic with a skimpy dress on was an innocent way of showing your sex appeal. But men take one look at the dress and see it as code for, “she wants me to take it off!”  They think you’re asking for a preview of coming attractions.  And they deliver.

Women suffer through men’s misinterpretations all the time.  Shoot a friendly smile at your office mate and he SWEARS it means you want to sleep with him. Send your love interest a pic wearing a high-hemline dress and he SWEARS it means you want a three-way.

Here's a quick tour of the male brain: it always ends up in the same place.

2. In short, men are pigs.

As a member in good standing of the male population, I can tell you that men are pigs. Misinterpretation is definitely one reason guys send unsolicited dick pics, but it’s just one. There are many others, and they are as oink-inducing as a tour of a pig farm.  

  • First, there’s the “who doesn’t love free porn” rationale. “Come on,” said one guy in my poll, “I’ve just saved them hours of searching on Pornhub!”
  • Second, there’s the perv factor. One guy said, sending dick pics is like shouting at a girl from a moving car.”
  • Third, there’s the power move. Forcing a woman to look at your junk is a domination ritual right out of the silverback gorilla’s playbook (only it’s not the chest he’s beating).
  • Fourth, the law of reciprocity. He’s hoping to give you a little bit of his so you’ll give him a little bit of yours.  

What Can You Do About It?

It depends. Are you intrigued? Disgusted? Impressed? Each dictates a different answer.

Complete silence is a good option if you just want him to go away (or come back groveling). But what if you’re actually into him but still feel uncomfortable with the situation?

Make fun of him. There’s no better answer than “can you send a picture of a BIGGER dick, a dick that sees a future with me in it?”