The 5 Biggest Mistakes You Are Making With Online Dating


No luck with online dating? Here are the 5 biggest mistakes you may not even know you are making.

Here's a wakeup call for those who have been struggling with online dating and haven't had much luck with it. The best thing about a problem is that once you know the solution, it's usually easy to fix.

Check out this online dating advice about the biggest mistakes you are making, and how to turn them around:

Mistake #1: You Posted the Best Photo of Yourself

The first big mistake most people make is putting up a really good photo of themselves, probably taken by a professional photographer in an "ideal" setting. You might be surprised to learn that this is a mistake, but that's because you most likely didn't realize that in real life, people rarely look the way they do in their best photographs—at least if you're not a supermodel or a superhunk.

Use a photo that shows the real you in a real-life setting having fun or horsing around with friends. Natural expressions are more realistic and representative of the way you actually look to others. Don't shoot yourself in the foot by posting headshots and then wondering why your date walked past you at the restaurant with no sign of recognition.

Mistake #2: You Said Different Things to Different People on the Same Portal

Don't forget that the online dating scene is full of mini-communities where people actually talk to each other. So, if you've told one contact that you're a party animal and another that you're a stay-at-home type of person, don't be surprised if they talk to each other and your cat finally gets out of the bag. Be consistent in what you say, and remember what you said before. As you might have guessed, honesty is indeed the best policy for dating online.

Mistake #3: You Didn't Pay for a Membership

There's nothing wrong with loving free dating websites, but if you're serious about finding a soulmate, or even finding a decent human being to have a relationship with, then paid sites are where you should be. It's nothing more than your commitment to having success when your credit card statement shows a charge for it.

Of course, as a first-timer, you're more than welcome to "forage among the multitudes" on free dating websites, but for the most part, it's usually more trouble than it's worth. Who knows; if you're lucky then that's exactly where your soulmate may be waiting for you. But, don't count on it.

Mistake #4: You Spammed, Therefore you Bombed

Don't ever think that a form letter is anywhere near as good as a customized message written with care and thought. Even if your first messages all say the same thing, "massage" each of them so they sound unique and "you." Taking the time to craft a fresh message for each candidate you send a message to shows that you care enough about yourself to put yourself in the path of success at any cost, even at the cost of aching fingers.

Mistake #5: You Spent your Life Savings on the Very First Date

There's no need to show your date that you're loaded, especially if you're not. Keep your first dates low-cost and low-key. That doesn't mean your standard "first date meal" should be a hotdog-and-hold-the-onions-won't-you-please, but there's nothing wrong with meeting for coffee or going for a walk in the park.

The whole idea is to meet the right person, so you have to do everything in your power to accomplish that goal. These mistakes will cost you big every time, but don't worry about mistakes so much that you become paralyzed trying to remember a laundry-list of do's and don'ts every time you go out.

Be honest, have fun, and enjoy the moment. Happy online dating.