100 Funny Inspirational Quotes To Start Your Day Off With Positive Thoughts

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The easiest way to feel good is to find something that puts a smile on your face or is funny and makes you laugh. Imagine how great you will feel when you make it a daily practice to find what is funny in any situation.

Here you will find some of the most inspirational, humorous, thought-provoking, and funny motivational quotes that will brighten your day.

RELATED: 150 Best Funny Quotes & Sayings About Life To Help You Stay Positive

For all of you with a sense of humor enjoy these quotes about life and share to make someone else's day, too!

1. "Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive." — Elbert Hubbard

2. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost

3. "Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” — Thomas Edison

4. “When life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade and then try to find someone whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” — Ron White

5. "You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice." — Sam Levenson

6. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” — Tom Lehrer

 

7. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” — Terry Pratchett

 

8.  “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” — Steven Wright

9. "It’s okay to look at the past and the future. Just don’t stare." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

10. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing — that’s why we recommend it daily.” — Zig Ziglar

11.  “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” — Charles Schulz

12. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” — Mark Twain

13. "I have to be successful because I like expensive things." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

14. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” — Oscar Wilde

15. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” — Winnie the Pooh

16. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.” — Lily Tomlin

17. "Be happy, it drives people crazy." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

18. “Bad decisions make good stories.” — Ellis Vidler

19. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” — Cathy Guisewite

20. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” — Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

21. "If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping in a room with a mosquito." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

22.  “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.”

23. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms.” — Michael Scott

24. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.”

25. "Kill them with success and bury them with a smile." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

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26. “Always remember that you are unique — just like everybody else.”

27. “Opportunity does not knock, it presents itself when you beat down the door.” — Kyle Chandler

28. “Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget tossing in the lifeboats.” — Voltaire

29. "Aspire to inspire before we expire." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

30. “It takes less time to do things right than to explain why you did it wrong.” — Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

31. “I cannot afford to waste my time making money.” — Louis Agassiz

32. “Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.”  — Oscar Wilde

33. "Some people are like clouds: when they disappear, it’s a beautiful day." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

34. “When you do not know what you are doing and what you are doing is the best — that is inspiration.” — Robert Bresson

35. “My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.” — Dave Barry

36. “Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.” — Isaac Asimov

 

37. "When life puts you in a tough situation, don’t say 'Why me?', say 'Try me'." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

38. “You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can’t possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.” — Sam Levenson

39. “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever you were gonna do anyway.“ — Robert Downey Jr.

40. “To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone.” — Reba McEntire

 

41. "Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you’ll be criticized anyway." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

42. “A mind is like a parachute. It doesn’t work if it is not open.” — Frank Zappa

43. “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.” — Charles J. Sykes

44. “Here is a test to find whether your mission on earth is finished— If you’re alive it isn’t.” — Richard Bach

 

>45. "The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs…one step at a time." —Joe Girard

46. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” — Andy Rooney

47. “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

48. “The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.” — Bill Watterson

49. "Do not listen to those who weep and complain, for their disease is contagious." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

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50. “A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.” — Bob Hope

51. “If you’re going to tell people the truth, be funny or they’ll kill you.” — Billy Wilder

52.  “I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me — they’re cramming for their final exam.” — George Carlin

 

53. "Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, ‘I’m not going to make it’, but you laugh inside remembering all the times you’ve felt that way." — Charles Bukowski

54. “We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.” — Bryan White

55. “I’m in shape. Round is a shape.” — George Carlin

56. “Haters are just confused admirers because they can’t figure out the reason why everyone loves you.” — Jeffree Star

 

57. "Hating people is like burning down your own home to get rid of a rat." — Harry Emerson Fosdick

58. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” — Marilyn Monroe

59. “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” — Ayn Rand

60. “To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.” — Steven Wright

61. "Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who can consistently laugh at himself does not." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

62. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” — Robin Williams

63. “If you dig a grave for others you may fall into it yourself.” — Irish Proverbs

64. “See the world like a big wardrobe. Everybody has his own costume. There is only one that fits you perfectly.” — George Harris

65. "When life brings big winds of change that almost blow you over, close your eyes, hang on tight, and believe." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

66. “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.” — Lucille Ball

67. “Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.” — William James

68. “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?” — Albert Einstein

69. "We made mistakes because life doesn’t come with instructions." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

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70. “Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.” — Terry Pratchett

71. “Life is like photography. You need the negatives to develop.”

72. “Life isn’t finding shelter in the storm. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.” — Sherrilyn Kenyon

 

73. "Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be a miserable cow." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

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74. “In the business world, everyone is paid in two coins: cash and experience. Take the experience first; the cash will come later.” — Harold Geneen

75. “I know worrying works, because none of the stuff I worried about ever happened.” — Will Rogers

76. “Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.” — Dick Van Dyke

77. "Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine." Lisa Lieberman-Wang

78. “Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” — Anais Nin

79. “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” — George Burns

80. “Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.” — Les Brown

81. "You grow up the day you have your first real laugh — at yourself."— Ethel Barrymore

82. “Life is too short to be serious all the time. So, if you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll laugh at you.”

83. “There’s power in looking silly and not caring that you do.” — Amy Poehler

84. “Never follow anyone else’s path, unless you’re in the woods and you’re lost.” — Ellen DeGeneres

85. "If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

86. “Don’t let schooling interfere with your education.” — Mark Twain

87. “Good things come to those who initiate.” — Susan RoAne

88. “If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done, ask a woman.” — Margaret Thatcher

89. "Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up." — Ann Bradford

90. “If you don’t have wrinkles, you haven’t laughed enough.” — Phyllis Diller

91. “People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.” — Will Rogers

92. “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” — Mark Twain

93. "Be that kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor every morning, the devil says, 'Oh crap she’s up'." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

94. “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” — Phyllis Diller

95. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.” — Yogi Berra 

96. “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” — Mark Twain

97. "You can’t always control who walks into your life, but you can control which window you throw them out." — Lisa Lieberman-Wang

98. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.”

99. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” — Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach

100. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” — Franklin P. Jones

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Lisa Lieberman-Wang is a relationship expert, author of Fine to Fab, and creator of the neuroscience Neuro Associative Programming (NAP).

This article was originally published at FINEtoFAB. Reprinted with permission from the author.