3 Reasons Men Should Stop Sabotaging New Relationships


Are you constantly comparing your new girlfriends to your ex?

Last night, the San Antonio Spurs played against the Miami Heat in Game 1 of the NBA Finals. That wasn't unusual, since both teams met around this same time last year. What was unusual was that they played the game indoors with approximately 18,500 screaming fans and no air conditioning. At one point during the game, Doris Burke, analyst for ESPN, measured the temperature on the floor at 90 degrees. The game was very well played because these two teams often do well when they go against each other. But with 3:59 in the final quarter, the best player in the league, LeBron James could no longer play for the Miami Heat due to muscle cramps, and the San Antonio Spurs won the game. So this morning as I turned on the radio and checked my Twitter feed, the only thing people were talking about was LeBron James and his mental toughness. In fact, because of this trait people have been constantly comparing his mental toughness and killer instinct to the likes of Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan, two of the best players ever.

In the land of singleness, on average there are over 8 single men for every 10 single women. So we as men will tend to hold out as long as possible for the Michael Jordan of women. In our mind even if we have the LeBron James of females come into our lives, we will still compare her to our past. In the end that will backfire for these 3 reasons:

  1. We Will Damage Their Self-Esteem: Remember when you first met her at your friend's cookout or at a bar? You felt they had all of the qualities that you were looking for — except one thing that our ex-girlfriend possessed. If we are constantly reminding our new girlfriend about what she lacks, it will strip away all the good qualities about her that we liked.
  2. You Will Only See The Mask, And Not What's Behind It: Because of the constant comparison, your girlfriend will not let her guard down in fear that she will eventually get hurt. No one wants to be constantly compared to someone else. It will only cause the person to wonder "why is he even involved with me?"
  3. You Will Eventually Miss Out On The Qualities You Need To Make A Great Relationship Work: When we lose a relationship, as guys we never look into the mirror and analyze what we did to ruin it. Most of the time, our ego will not allow it. If you don't figure out what role you play in how a relationship ends, you will continue to make the same mistakes.

So if you are in a relationship with a superstar, don't constantly compare her to a past star. In the end you will be the one that loses.