What To Do When You Want More Sex Than Your Partner

Photo: weheartit
What to do when You Want More Sex Than Your Partner

Everyone’s levels of sexual desire are different and they shouldn’t be treated as a point of judgment.

People need varying amounts of time to become aroused and will crave sex on differing schedules and this is all natural.

So, don’t get down on yourself just because your sex drive doesn’t precisely match your partners. If you find yourself wanting to have more sex than your wife, here are 6 tips to stay in control:

1. Don't judge your sex drive.

As mentioned before, everyone’s levels of sexual desire are different. Instead of getting down on yourself, focus on the strengths of your relationship.

Remember what brought you together in the first place and why you chose your partner instead of someone else.

2. Share your point of views with each other.

See what you can do as a couple to reach common ground. Sometimes, one person needs a little more to get their feelings of desire going before things progress.

If that’s the case, discussing what you need before you head into the bedroom can help you both find a balance.


RELATED: How To Get It On Like A Total Pro (According To Total Pros)


3. Engage in non-sexual touch more often.

This includes saying affirming words to each other and spending more quality time together. Increasing these intimate moments will create the foundation for increased sexual intimacy.

4. Expand your definition of sex.

Let go of narrowing views and consider doing new things, such as making out in your living room or taking a shower together.

Sex is more than just genital touching.


RELATED: 10 Non-Sexual Ways To Turn Up The Romance In Your Relationship


5. Take a risk and be the one to initiate.

Who knows? Maybe your partner might just be the type who needs a sexy nudge.

6. Take part in self-pleasure.

If you have a need to sexually express yourself, and your partner is not in the mood, consider asking your partner to hold you close, as you masturbate or create some personal time to indulge yourself.

But most of all, don’t personalize it. It is quite common for partners to have sexual desire discrepancy. It may have to do with hormones or medical complications, among other things, and have absolutely nothing to do with your physical attractiveness or your acts of kindness.

Remember, blaming doesn’t help, but compromising and empathy does. For today, let go of any pressure, and start to have fun, by doing things, in and out of the bedroom that you have never done before.

Dr. Janet Brito is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist at the Center for Sexual and Reproductive Health in Honolulu, HI. For more information about their services, explore their website or call (808) 225-2780 today.

Watch YourTango Expert John Gray explain why women's sex drive tends to wane and what you can do about it.

Sign Up for the YourTango Newsletter

Let's make this a regular thing!