How To Ride Your Relationship Rollercoaster Without Falling Off

Love, Heartbreak

Compatibility doesn't mean you'll get along. So, learn how to ride the relationship roller coaster.

Surprisingly, your compatibility with a person doesn't just reveal how you'll get along or if you'll like each other. Compatibility shows if you can have easy, smooth progress as a couple; or, if no matter what you do, you'll end up feeling insecure and anxious unless you resolve the hidden issues that cause the turmoil in these relationships.

To learn if you and the other person have what it takes to ensure your relationship can effortlessly grow and last, an assessment would be of benefit. Couples break up and get back together, and break up again all the time, right? So, what is the big deal?

If you've ever been in love with someone and became unsure of your relationship, odds are the two of you need to work out unfinished business from hidden issues (specifically, a past life). It may just be that he or she just isn't a good partner. Those are two different things, and through an assessment process you can discover which it is, or a little of both.

Some couples I have worked with are amazing couples—playful together, affectionate, funny, laughing and enjoying each other. They help each other's family and seem to be the glue the family needs. They are great people apart, and seemingly so much better together, that it just didn't make any sense they wouldn't be blissfully happy all the time, and figure out how to get both of their needs consistently met.

So what is the deal? Their compatibility was just about perfect, as anyone would guess, except for one issue.  In a previous life, he was killed during a battle. She had a constant sense he would walk out the door (as he once did) and never return. He, on the other hand, felt guilty for being killed and abandoning her and their young son. When two people have an experience such as this, their feeling of closeness and harmony is "herky-jerky." Each is on edge without knowing that it isn't today's issues that keep them on edge.

One minute everything is fine and they're happy, and the next it's as though they've stepped on a "love landmine," and the relationship itself has a huge hole in it. Unfortunately, neither knows the reason.

When a conflict of any kind arises, instead of being able to address the issue at hand, the couple begins to feel insecure with one another; so intently that the entire relationship itself is in question. The old memory of abandonment for her and his guilty are unknowingly triggered.

Surprisingly, that is exactly what each described. She revealed, "I have this sense that he will leave me, so when we discuss an issue that we have to resolve, I feel insecure." He related, "I know she feels insecure and I feel guilty, but I don't know what I do wrong. Then, I am angry because I feel helpless." This scenario has played out dozens of times during their ten year marriage.

They go along just fine, and then it would be as if they hit a huge speed bump or drove off a cliff. Neither of them could pinpoint who said or did what - all they knew is that she suddenly felt insecure and upset. And conversely he felt guilty and couldn’t grasp what went wrong.

Despite having good intentions, they couldn't contain themselves and hold onto the good feelings they normally had for one another, or behave lovingly toward each other. It was as if the gas tank was empty or all four tires were flat. Before they could think clearly, they'd break up and separate, only to wonder what took place.

When I explain there is a plausible reason for what seems too crazy for words and the misery that is induced, sometimes couples look at me like I might be crazy or their eyes light up and they are eager to have the "quick fix."

Like going to a doctor with a complaint, after tests are run the doctor says, "Yeah, that's what's going on with you, all right. Here is a prescription. Take two a day and you will feel fine in a few days." The good news is that I run a "relationship MRI" using the subconscious mind to access the emotional issues that need to be resolved, in order to have a more compatible relationship.

This sounds wild because that's exactly what I say—running the compatibility between you and your partner is like running a panel of lab tests on your relationship. Things might "seem" fine," but upon further inquiry "weak links" that threaten the very vitality of the relationship, and the very health of your happiness as a couple, can be uncovered.

In this personal, customized process you'll learn everything there is to know about the "destined" strengths and weaknesses of your relationship. You'll learn things that you wouldn't think about; as soon as you uncover them, suddenly everything will make perfect sense.

This process can be between you and your current partner, or someone you're wondering whether or not you are with. Whether you want to know where your current relationship is headed and whether or not it's destined to last, if you want to get "closure" on a past relationship, or if you desire to give someone new a chance, you can find out everything in one to three sessions.

You might think that a connection called "misfortune" between two people couldn't cause misfortunes to occur now. This sentiment is common, especially if you think a past life phenomenon is a fantasy or for entertainment. The adage, "What you don't know won't hurt you," is just that—an adage.

I don't so much find that things are too dire to resolve, so it's not like you and your partner will suffer accidents, mishaps, or have tons of bad luck. What I do see with each couple who are struggling (as in the case above) is that couples have frequent ups and downs, stops and starts, and emotional upheaval; it is unfortunate but can be resolved when you know what to shift or eliminate.

The frequent or unexpected ups and downs are truly one of the most painful things two people can have between them, so it's often a "relationship deal breaker." But, not necessarily.

Interestingly, Bill and Hillary Clinton have a strong bond and connection, and it can certainly be said that they've been an amazing couple of incredible achievement and longevity. They've sure had their share of drama, but they've engaged with relationship consultants to work out a compatible marriage.

If you feel like you're in a relationship with too much drama, you can find out if your compatibility is to blame. If the issues are too deep and difficult to resolve, it is good to know exactly what didn't work.

Now, it's not necessarily a total "deal breaker" when you discover the pain or disconnect points. It is enormously helpful to know what's at the root of your romantic roller coaster, and the next time you hit a "dip" or feel turned upside down, you won't be so surprised or affected by it.

Even if the relationship is dissolved, each client says, "I feel a whole lot better about myself after learning this. It's nice to know not everything is my fault or imagination." There are many combinations that can be every bit as challenging and difficult, and sometimes couples will have not just one big frustration between them, but several.

The process reveals it all, and what to do to resolve things if you want to stay together, or if you decide to go your separate ways. Create an amicable disengagement. And, may God and the angels shower you with love.

Dorothy M Neddermeyer, PhD is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and an internationally recognized authority on bridging Science, Spirit and Human Potential with 30+ years experience as a transformation facilitator, speaker, and educator in natural health and wellness; personal/professional development. She holds a PhD in Metaphysics. You can create the healthy life you deserve. Become one of the many who have. It is easier than you think.