You Are The Architect Of Your Experiences


What you believe, think, feel, say and do in each moment comes back to you to create your reality.

"You are the architect of your experiences."

Your first thought might be, "How can that be? There are hundreds of things going on, and I am simply swept into the fray or it comes at me like a tsunami."

What you believe, think, feel, say and do are all forms of energy. What you believe, think, feel, say and do in each moment comes back to you to create your reality, a reality that can lead to self love if you let it.

Energy moves in a circle, so what goes around comes around. The combined beliefs, thoughts, feelings, words and actions of everyone on the planet creates our collective consciousness, it creates the world you see before you.

What is your belief about Speaking UP? Humans are indoctrinated and conditioned to have a belief about everything, including the weather. How hot is the weather, how cold is the weather? You get the point.

Exercising your right to Speak UP strengthens your ability to assert yourself and you increase the chances of creating what you desire in your personal and professional life. Your strength in your effective communication fitness subsequently enhances your self-confidence, self-reliance and self-sufficiency. Speaking UP is the third level of seven levels of rapport you can establish with your Self and others, respectively. Level one is the most superficial (easiest) to the deepest (most challenging) level of rapport.  Yours and your audience's levels of communication fitness, most importantly, flexibility, determine your Speaking UP success.

The more wiling and open you are to develop and maintain your Speaking UP skills, the more effectively and efficiently you will typically attain higher levels in your career or business success. If you are a CEO, then it is critical to have solid and well-honed Speaking UP skills to create and maintain long-term success. You can use your personal and professional interactions as a training ground. 

Ironically, more people would Speak UP if there were no risks or discomfort associated with it. Interestingly, it is when the risks are higher or discomfort greater that one needs to exercise Speaking UP. Unfortunately, the more uncertainty associated with applying any skill there is, the more likely the one exercising the skill will bow out or choke doing it. The good news is, the more you practice any skill in real-time scenarios, beyond mentally rehearsing it, the lower your performance anxiety and the higher your success rate will be. The adage 'practice makes perfect' applies!

The key to effectively Speaking UP, whether it's done only internally (inner voice a.k.a. self-talk) and/or externally (outer voice), is to do it from a grounded, calm and confident stance. Another important key is that Speaking UP leads to mastery. Mastery leads to confidence and success. The third key is one-hundred percent belief in your Self as you present your point or position.

How would you respond if someone Speaks UP with statements that sounded more like questions than statements? My hunch is you would be confused or less than attentive to the statement. Statements that sound like questions give the impression that the person isn't on solid footing or untrustworthy with his/her point or position. Statements are asserting your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, opinions and ideas. Intended questions assist in drawing in the listener.

Speaking UP occurs in person, text or email; for example, I recently hired someone to revitalize the front yard at my home. I had a specific design in mind. Translating lay-person's ideas into landscaping reality might seem easy, yet, there are many things to consider that a lay-person would not necessarily know. I decided to get three bids for a $2,000 renovation. The first person, said, 'Yes,' to each idea. However, I continued to ask questions about the possible negatives. NO, no negatives. Hm-m-m. "Tell me exactly, how will you execute what I want?" The explanation was sketchy at best. The second contractor had good responses. However, he seemed interested in steering me in a different direction. Not a good match. The third contractor answered my questions in great detail. Furthermore, he offered reassurance that his work was guaranteed for one year. That got my attention, and he gave the most economical quote for the project. Two months later and two heavy rain stormsone being the heaviest in recorded history in Phoenix Metro area—I am happy with the design and workmanship.

This experience reminded me of the value of the inherent Speak UP skills. By asking to know the details of the process and choices, I got what I desired, plus an added bonus—a one year workmanship guarantee. Thus, proof that Speaking UP pays!

In the final analysis, your personal and professional success includes risk-taking and eliminating caution. Make sure your voice is heard, delegate, go after those promotions and dare to be perfectly imperfect. You will discover that leading a riskier and more empowered personal and professional life leads to greater success and satisfaction.

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD is an internationally recognized authority on bridging Science, Spirit and Human Potential with over 30+ years experience as a transformation facilitator, speaker and educator in natural health and wellness and personal/professional development. Her PhD is in Metaphysics.

Dr Dorothy is Founder/CEO of Genesis Consultants, Inc.; Past President, International Association for Regression Research Therapies; Past Board member, Arizona Holistic Chamber of Commerce; Board Advisor & Faculty Member, World Regression Congress - Netherlands, India, Brazil and Turkey. http://drdorothy.net