If You’ve Never Had An Orgasm, Ask Yourself These 10 Questions ASAP

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Do you worry that you'll never have "The Big O" with another person?

You're not the only one. Many women find reaching orgasm with a partner next to impossible.


Can you relate to any of the following questions?

1. Have you ever had a relationship with a person who you wish was a little more turned on by you? A little nicer, a little more generous, a little more affectionate?

2. Have you ever had to turn off your true desires to be with someone who isn't as turned on anymore, is more sarcastic, is cheaper and isn't even close to as affectionate as he used to be?

3. Have you ever had to turn off your true desires because you were stuck with the wrong man without the resources to be on your own?

4. Have you ever had to turn off your true deepest desires because facing what you were missing was too devastating to let yourself see?

5. Have you ever had to turn off your deepest needs and desires because you couldn't trust the man you were with to truly have your back?

6. Have you ever had to turn off your natural drives in order to survive?

7. Have you ever had to pretend you were cumming just to get it over with?

8. How long have you been turning yourself off to protect yourself from men who started off one way and ended up a whole different story?

9. Have you ever had to turn yourself off and have sex anyway to please a man even though tears were in your eyes?

10. Is it any surprise that you can't get turned on enough to get to the Big O?

Dating and Relationship Coach and YourTango Expert David Wygant wrote a fabulous post about how to overcome frozen mindsets that stand in the way of great sex. He was so right.

Your mind is a major player in the orgasm game.

For women like me though, and maybe like you, a lifetime of holding things together and adapting to hostile male partners left me unable to really let go, to relax physically to a deep enough level that orgasm finally happened.

For me, solo sex became the sex du jour after another divorce left me single again. I discovered a whole new level of pleasure when I was alone that I can now transfer to partner sex when the time is right.


The last thing I need right now is a real man in my bed, in my life or in my world. The truth? I love being single, and I am not going without sex in the meantime. Solo sex is great sex, fun sex, and safe sex, right?