STOP Jumping From One Bad Relationship To Another (We Mean It)


What is the sense in immediately jumping from one terrible relationship right back into another?

I'm constantly noticing so many people who come out of broken relationships and do what many would consider to be quite ill-advised. They instantly rebound into another relationship before they've had time to possibly begin healing from the relationship that just ended. There are so many reasons not to do this that volumes have been written to help people stop themselves before taking that leap.

One of the biggest reasons that this should be avoided at all costs is that you usually end up with someone very similar to the person you're no longer with. What this translates to is that you're going from one terrible relationship and diving headfirst right into another one.

Since you've hardly had time to heal, learn, and grow from that last relationship, you're going to automatically be drawn to someone that reminds you of your ex. This can be from a physical standpoint, or the way he or she speaks, or certain mannerisms that remind you of your ex. It's not only possible to do this, but it happens all the time.

A couple of great examples of this were covered in episodes from two of the funniest sitcoms of all times. The show "Friends" had Rachel dating a guy named Russ when she still very much wanted to be with Ross. Of course, these two looked, talked, and acted identically because they were both played by actor David Schwimmer. Even though makeup was used to change the physical appearances somewhat, the actions were really similar. Everyone saw this except Rachel until it was pointed out to her what she had done.

On the show "Frasier," an actor closely resembling the character Niles was brought in as someone that Daphne hooked up with briefly. She never did see what she'd done, but Niles certainly did.

This is all to make the point that it is advisable to be extremely careful not to jump from the frying pan into the fire when you've just come out of a relationship. Give yourself the time you need to heal and fully move on from your ex.

When you allow enough time to go by before re-entering the dating arena, you'll find that it's much easier to find someone that will not even come close to the person you were just in a relationship with. You'll be able to keep your eyes open for others that will intrigue you and tap into different parts of you.

When you reach the point where you're able to be drawn to someone completely different than your ex, that's when you're ready to start dating again. At this particular point, you are then able to give yourself the chance to appreciate new qualities in people that might actually be better for you than your ex. You'll see the differences and notice how they make your life happier.

The problems in your past relationship happened for a reason. You certainly don't want to repeat any part of that pattern in your new relationship. That's why you just have to let things go, allow yourself to fully heal, and then move as far away from the past as you can.