7 Tough Questions To Ask Yourself When You're (Finally) Sick Of Being Single

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why am I single
Love, Self

Being single can be a great thing. But are you single for the right reasons?

The number of single people in the United States has skyrocketed in the last few years. According to Newsweek, 61 percent of young adults and 42 percent of adults are without a partner. In addition, women are three percent more likely to be single than men.

Many people are celebrating these statistics and this new age of personal freedom. True, being single, independent, and confident are all positives, but there is another side to these stats that's not so great.


RELATED: The 6 Toxic Mistakes Women Make That Keep Them Single


These numbers beg the question: are people single just because they want to be, or because they don't know how to be in a successful relationship?

 If you're wondering "Why am I single?" consider asking yourself the following questions.

1. Are you putting up an emotional wall?

Anyone who has had their heart broken before isn't too keen on having it happen again. However, some people accept this as a part of life, while others go to great lengths to avoid it.

Do you keep potential love interests at arm's length because you're afraid of getting close? Opening your most vulnerable self up to someone can be extremely scary. Ask yourself, is your fear keeping you from trying your hand at a new relationship?

2. Do you have too much of an attitude?

Everyone should have a healthy dose of self-confidence. Some people naturally radiate confidence, but for others it takes a while to build up good self-esteem. Either way, everyone needs to reach a point where they feel comfortable being themselves.

But let's face it: some people are a little too cocky. Having a strong personality can be a wonderful asset, but being a diva can be off-putting. You may need to check yourself.

3. Are you selfish?

Millennials have grown up learning to put themselves first, and there's nothing wrong with that! In fact, it's healthy to value yourself and to look out for your best interests. If you take that concept too far, though, you can become self-absorbed. 

Psychology Today theorizes that one of the reasons millennials are more single than previous generations is because they've taken self-esteem too far. Focusing on yourself is definitely a top priority, but in doing so, are you neglecting the needs of others?

4. Are you feeling lost?

Some people are single because they aren't quite sure who they are or who they want to be. That's a great reason to take personal time and to do your own thing! Of course, this is only helpful if you are aware that you're lost or insecure.


RELATED: The Weird Thing You Do That's Keeping You Single, Per Your Zodiac Sign


Perhaps you are feeling this way, but you're refusing to acknowledge it. If you're someone who is still asking yourself, "Why am I single?" and don't have the answer, maybe you have some soul searching to do. 

5. Are you empathetic?

Empathy plays a huge role in all relationships, romantic and otherwise. You have to be able to relate to other people and understand where they're coming from. People crave to be understood and comforted, and if you can't provide that, you might stay single for a long, long time.

There are simple empathy exercises you can do to improve your ability to connect with others. Remember, other people have the same needs and desires that you do.

6. Are you depressed?

Depression doesn't just make you sad, it also makes you feel isolated. When a person is suffering from depression, they are less likely to reach out to other people. They feel like they are alone or that they need to hide their depression.

More than 16 million adults in the US suffer from depression, and you might be one of those people. If so, you should reach out to a therapist for help. You can also check out these five tips for taking care of yourself when you're depressed.

7. Are your expectations unrealistic?

We've all grown up reading fairytales and watching rom-coms. Seeing so many cases of the happily ever after has trained many people to feel like there is someone out there for them who is absolutely perfect. Well, guess what? No one's perfect.

You will never find someone who checks all of your boxes. But that doesn't mean that you should dismiss potential love interests. You can find someone who has the qualities that are most important to you. Don't settle, but don't turn people away because they don't meet your crazy high standards. 

The bottom line is this: Being single doesn't mean there must be something wrong with you.

You may be single because you have some work to do on yourself. The fact is, there are plenty of people who are single by choice, and there are plenty of people who are single because the cards haven't fallen the right way yet.

But while you're not busy with a relationship, you might want to take the time to do a little self-evaluation just in case.  


RELATED: 9 Signs Your Independent Streak Is Making You Hard To Love


Taylor Markarian graduated from Emerson College with a B.A. in Writing, Literature & Publishing. She is a freelance writer and editor who enjoys writing about about music, lifestyle, culture, the arts, entertainment, and literature. Check out her LinkedIn and her website.

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