4 Ways To Get Your Sex Life Back On Track (When Nothing Else Is Working)


Don't let sex and intimacy issues ruin your relationship.

It’s not uncommon in long-term relationships for sexual intimacy to reach highs and lows, and to be occasionally inconsistent.

Sometimes you and your partner will want each other all the time, and sometimes you will only be intimate a couple of times. Regardless of whether this is just because you’re tired from work or because you simply don’t feel the need to connect that way, as long as you’re both satisfied and in touch with each other, then it isn’t a problem.

However, there are times in a marriage or relationship where bad things happen that leave one or both partners feeling angry, bitter, or resentful. In an environment like this, intimacy simply cannot flourish, and it isn’t uncommon for partners to stop being sexually involved with one another altogether. 

That constitutes a serious sex problem in a marriage or long-term relationship — one worth your time and attention. 

RELATED: 3 Simple Steps To Having The Most Amazing, Intimate Sex Of Your Life

According to Intimacy Coach Amy Color, in the latest YourTango Experts video (which you can watch above), some of the worst parts of a sexless relationship is that a partner feels left out or hurt to the point where they might not even want to be involved at all. Whether this lack of intimacy is due to resentment, betrayal, or sexual dysfunction, anything that stops you both from being close with one another can be a big problem if not addressed properly.

So just how can you conquer the issue when it feels as though your sex life is completely off track?

Here are 4 ways that you and your partner can recreate your bond and rebuild the intimacy in your relationship:

1. Book a time and a place.

This “booking” with your partner will be for both of you to come together, drop any resentments — or expectations — and simply reconnect with one another.

How to do this, Amy says, is to be physically connected to one another for fifteen minutes. This physical connection can be hugging, cuddling, holding hands, or even just your feet touching one another. The purpose of this connection is to make a “cocoon” where you and your partner feel safe and protected and in sync with one another.

2. Say your partner’s name.

Creating a wordless connection is another important step in creating an environment of intimacy.

But how can you do this? By speaking your partner’s name, says Amy. It will make them feel safe, comforted, and ready to drop whatever resentments and complexities are surrounding the issue at hand. Everyone wants to hear their name on their partner’s lips, and by repeating their name and keeping connected to one another, you’re going to make them feel calm and loved.

3. Match their breathing.

Matching your partner’s breathing does a couple of things. It slows you both down, helps calm your nervous system, and will even synchronize your heartbeat with theirs.

And the even better news? If this doesn’t seem to work, then it might also make you both laugh, which, says Color, accomplishes the same thing!

4. Create a soundtrack.

Choose background music that you can use every time to help your nervous system calm down.

Creating a soundtrack that you can use every time you want to be intimate or sexual with your partner can put you both in the mood and help calm you and help you better connect with them. This soundtrack is important because later on when you’re experiencing difficulties in connecting, it can also be used to wordlessly recover from a fight or intimacy problem.

Hearing the music will instantly help soothe the both of you!

RELATED: How To Give A Woman Multiple Orgasms (And Become Her Sexual Hero!)

Whether you experience this or any other sexual issue, Amy Color would love to hear from you and to offer her help. Contact Amy here