9 Men Reveal The Type Of Sex They Have With Women They Don't Love

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how to know if he's using you for sex

"I'm not going to be spending the night or making breakfast, if you know what I mean."

We're all adults here, so let's be honest: We often have sex with people we don't love or even necessarily like. And that's fine. Maybe the person who treats you like crap also makes you feel great. Or maybe someone perfectly nice is just boring... except when naked.

There are lots of reasons we would have sex with someone we don't really like or love. Men do it, women do it — everyone does it.

We've asked men to share the signs for how to know if he's using you for sex. When they have sex with women they don't love the sex really is different in a lot of ways, even if you can't tell.

1. He only does doggy-style.

"The age-old classic: face down, ass up! Can't go wrong with the classics." — Ralph Sutton, radio personality and podcast host of The SDR Show

2. He only wants a physical relationship.

"Although I believe that detaching emotions from sex is easy for men, I also think that chemistry is crucial for it to be enjoyable. I expect for no-strings-attached sex to be fun for all involved and a great way to blow off steam. Not being emotionally attached also allows you to take more risks and experiment, so don’t be afraid to try to make your fantasies come true! Just don’t be an assh*le and have sex with someone who has feelings for you when you can’t reciprocate emotionally."

RELATED: 6 Casual Sex Rules To Follow If You Don't Want To Get Attached

3. He pushes your boundaries.

“For me, love and sex are intertwined. I have had one-night stands where I am so connected my body wants to make mouth say 'I love you,' but ultimately intimacy and my ultimate fetishes do not always have a way to co-exist. I enjoy extremely taboo sex — group sex, watching my partner with others I set her up with, maintaining submissives from a dominant position, polyamory. These are things I pursue with partners that for whatever reason I don’t see being a domestic option." — Josh Accardo, comedian

4. He doesn't compliment your body.

"Let's just say I'm not muttering how beautiful her eyes are. It's more about how hot her boobs look when they are bouncing."

5. He's selfish.

"I know it's not pretty, but I'm less concerned with her finishing first if I'm not into her beyond sexually."

6. He wants to explore his fantasies.

"I would respect the woman's sexual boundaries whether it's with a someone I love or don't love, though I may after chatting with them push the envelope in terms of sexual positions, toys, or type of sex. If we have an open discussion about sexual fantasies, I would look at exploring those if she's open to it. No matter what type of sex, I would still take the same safe-sex precautions."

RELATED: 5 Brutal Ways To Know If A Man Is Just Using You For Sex

7. He turns sex into a workout.

"Well, the 'type' of sex you have with a woman you don't love can be quite physical, in the respect of almost making it a workout. You focus on your own body, you find positions that get your body into the motions, you increase physical speed and work to increase your heart rate, and if this is strictly physical without emotion, you go for your own benefit."

8. He's not interested in spending the night.

"In terms of how to know if he's using you for sex, the sex may not be that different, but the dynamics are. I'm not going to be spending the night or making breakfast, if you know what I mean."

9. He wants quickies.

"You don't have to call me a hero but it's not an especially different experience for me with someone I love versus a one-night stand. Either way, I want it to be mutually enjoyable so that there may be a next time. However, in my limited experience, there are some things that all women seem to like that are kind of a good place to start (oral, varying speeds and depths, saying 'you're beautiful'). I suppose, though, that in a long-term thing you certainly have learned what people like and can focus on that... or agree upfront that the sex is going to quick and impersonal because the movie starts in 35 minutes."


Aly Walansky is a NY-based lifestyles writer. Her work appears in dozens of digital and print publications regularly. Visit her on Twitter or email her at alywalansky@gmail.com.