What All Women NEED To Know Before Having Sex On A First Date

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What All Women NEED To Know About Having Sex On The First Date

Ladies, it's time to get real.

Society and many relationship “experts” will tell you that if you want to land a man permanently, you MUST make him wait some pre-determined number of dates before agreeing to have sex with him. According to this social norm, women should never have sex on the first date —  or even get involved in any kind of sexual activity with him too soon  if you want a guy to take you seriously.

I'm here to say that this is complete and utter bullshit and don’t you dare believe a word of it.

To be clear  I’m not talking about one-night stands.

Those are a completely different animal. Typically, one-night stands happen when you end up sleeping with someone just hours after you first meet them (and most often after you've both had way more than one too many drinks at a bar).

That’s fine too. Don’t get it twisted. I’m not judging anyone who wants to get their rocks off with whoever they so desire. But that particular kind of situation simply happens to be far less conducive to starting any kind of lasting relationship.

In this digital age, it is much easier to get to know people without ever having actually met them.

Assuming you are on an actual date with someone, you've most likely spent some amount of time invested in getting to know them a bit prior to going out for the first time, whether via a dating app, text messages, social media, an in-person chemistry check or some other avenue of that sort.

And, generally, if you agree to go on a date with someone, you must feel some kind of way about them or you wouldn’t be wasting your time. Maybe it’s just a simple case of attraction, a strong sense of connection or just a “feeling” you have.

But my point is this  if you want to have sex with someone, do it.

Don’t be concerned about a guy not taking you seriously or not respecting you. I've met very few men who have genuinely lost respect for a woman because she “put out too soon."

In fact, three out of four of my most serious relationships involved having sex on the first date. One of those dates led to a 9-year relationship and he even — *gasp* — married me!

I felt a strong connection with all of these men, and frankly, if anyone judges me for that I believe it says more about them than it does about me.

Here’s the most important thing you need to understand in all of this ... 

Any man who would “lose respect for you” if you chose to sleep with him according to when you felt comfortable doing so isn't a man worthy of receiving YOUR respect.

Why do any of us still think it's OK for a guy to have sex at any point in getting to know a woman that he wants, yet women don’t deserve respect if they make the same choice according to their own standards for themselves?

This is just some primitive attempt to rob women of their value as humans and treat us as though we are not only inferior and incapable of intelligent self-determination, but prizes to be valued based on our intrinsic level of sexual purity.

Ladies, hear me now.

Sleep with whoever you want, whenever you want —  and screw anyone who judges you for your choices.

Any man who is worth your time and your respect is a man who won't hold you to archaic expectations that you quash your sexuality for a pre-determined number of dates.

We need to stop acting like women should be held to a higher standard than men.

We also need to stop acting like waiting to have sex is a higher standard. We are all living, breathing, sexual beings who can choose who we want to sleep with and when, and still expect to be respected when we do so.

You are a person and therefore you deserve respect. Period.

You deserve respect no matter when you decide to sleep with someone, no matter how many people you have slept with, and no matter what your reasons are for doing so.

Your body. Your choice.

Anyone who has an opinion of what you should do with your body is unworthy of your time.

Screw the patriarchy's attempts to shove its misogynistic bullshit ideals in your face.

You do you, Boo.