The 15 Most EMBARRASSING Things People Have Said During Sex

Photo: weheartit
embarrassing things people have said during sex

"He for real yelled 'YAHTZEE!'"

If you’re not letting it all hang out during sex, you’re not doing it right. This includes your innermost thoughts, feelings, or whatever brand of absurdity gets you off the best.

We asked readers to share with us the craziest things they’ve either yelled or heard during the throes of passion, and here are the most embarrassing things people have said during sex. We've narrowed down this list to our favorites.

1. I yelped, "DON'T GRAB MY WEINER!" at full volume.

"She was about to climax and was clenching the bed sheets and started groping around near my crotch and I just yelped, 'DON’T GRAB MY WEINER!!!' and then the whole moment was ruined because she was dying of laughter."

2. He said, "PUT YOUR FEET ON MY ASS!" in a country accent.

"I was riding him and he yelled 'PUT YOUR FEET ON MY ASS!!' in a very country accent that was very unlike how he really talks. I mean, I did it but I was very confused."

3. I called him by the wrong name.

"I’d been dating this guy for a few weeks that I really, really liked and we were having pretty great sex when I went to yell out his name. A little backstory: His real name was something normal, but he was known by a hilarious childhood nickname given to him when he was younger and rather overweight, which was how I’d always addressed him in the months we’d known each other because that's how he'd introduced himself.

I’m the type who loves to yell out someone’s name during sex, so I caught myself at an impasse where I didn’t want to address him as this ridiculous nickname during sex, but calling him by his real name sounded too contrived, so I went for my usual Plan B, which is 'Daddy. But halfway through the word, I realized that my BDSM tendencies might freak him out, so I just abandoned it. Later, when we were panting in the afterglow, he asked, 'Uhhh, so who is Dan?' and still scared I’d run him off by saying 'I meant daddy,' I just shrugged and said I had no idea where that came from. Because that’s totally better. 

4. He yelled, "Yahtzee!"

"He for real yelled 'YAHTZEE!' It was hilarious, but it blew any chance I was going to come after that."

5. I said, "OH, HELL YEAH!" like a preteen boy seeing boobs for the first time.

"I was f*cking this girl who was way out of my league, and she took her bra off and I blurted out 'OH HELL YEAH!' like a 12-year-old looking at titties for the first time in his clubhouse."

6. She thought I called her "mommy" instead of "mami."

"Out of the most embarrassing things people have said during sex, this takes the cake. I thought I’d spice things up and call her 'Mami' even though I am 100 percent Caucasian and have never even jokingly pretended to speak with that suave Spanish tone. Anyway, she thought I was calling her 'Mommy' and freaked the f*ck out. Rightly so, I guess. Lesson learned. Now I just keep my white ass in my own lane and everyone’s happier."

7. She creepily sang "You Are My Sunshine."

"My ex-girlfriend started singing 'You Are My Sunshine' once during a tender moment. She meant it to be sweet, but it was creepy as hell."

8. He said my vagina didn't taste like him.

"There was this guy I was casually f*cking whenever we were drunk and he went down on me once right after he’d finished and said, 'It’s weird! Your p*ssy doesn’t even taste like my c*ck!' What do you even say to that?"

9. She started saying 'Yes, Officer! Yes, Officer!' while I was pounding her.

"I’m not an officer, nor did I imply that I ever was, nor were we doing any role playing beforehand to put any context to what she was saying. I don’t think she was talking to me."

10. He whispered, "You gonna pretend you’re me? Imagine it, baby.'”

"This one guy starts going “Oh, I wish I was you right now” when I was bent over letting him hit it from behind. Not anal! Just regular vagina sex. And then he starts going 'You gonna pretend you’re me? Imagine it, baby.'”

11. He said, "Girl, I'm about to scramble your eggs" ... but he wasn't joking.

"Oh, this is the worst. Everything was fine, we were moving at a pretty chill pace, he seemed cool, and then he goes, 'Girl, I’m about to scramble your eggs.' I thought he was trying to be funny... he wasn’t."

12. She started yelling, 'YEAH BITCH, YEEEAAH!' in a Flava Flav voice.

"She started going, 'YEAH BITCH, YEEEAAH!' while I was f*cking her, which would have been fine, I guess, but it was in this Flava Flav voice. She was a skinny white girl. It made me deeply uncomfortable."

13. I screamed "NOOOOOOO!" like I was dying.

"I yelled 'NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!' once while I was coming exactly like I’d just witnessed my beloved die in a dramatic movie scene."

14. He hollered, "Bite it like a monkey!"

"I was on my stomach with my ass up letting him get me from behind, and I tend to bite things when I’m in that position for whatever reason. Anyway, I bit the corner of my pillow and my husband goes, 'Bite it! Bite it like a little monkey!' exactly like Chris Tucker did in Rush Hour 2."

15. She said, "You wanna spank this bad girl?" in a baby voice.

"This wasn’t any one thing she said, but I was having this fling and the girl would crank up the baby talk more and more the harder we went. Like it would start off playful and sort of interactive and pretty standard 'You wanna spank this bad girl?' type of sh*t, which isn’t my preference, but whatever, I’ll go along with it. But then within 15 minutes, she was just cooing in this crazy high-pitched voice and only responding with anime-style faces and little squeaks. Sh*t was weird."