How To Tell Your Guy (Or Gal) You're SUPER Interested In Playing With Sex Toys

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How To Introduce Your New Guy (Or Gal) To Your Favorite Sex Toys

Because we totally get that it talking about it can feel terribly awkward.

When we were all kids, the universal sign for, “Do you want to be my friend?” was offering to share a toy, right?

So, why is it that as adults we don’t tend to think about sharing our grown-up toys?

I know the issue can be fraught. Questions ranging from “Will my partner feel insulted?” to “How do we even use this thing together?” can make the whole idea of sharing your sex toys with a new partner seem a bit daunting.

In order to help you out, I’ve put together this list of 5 tips to help you work some toy-sharing into your routine.

1. For the love of god, talk about it first!! 

Before you go busting out your Hitachi Original Magic Wand it’s probably a good idea to bring the idea up to your partner.

I know, I know ... “But JoEllen, that's awkward!!”

People, here’s the thing. Talking about your sex makes your sex better. Also, the aforementioned “issues”? So much easier to dodge with a little talking.

If one of you already has a toy you like, tell your partner about it before you whip it out. If either or both of you are new to using sex toys, start off by talking about the idea of bringing some into your play time. Start by talking about what you think you may want to do with your toys, and then …

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2. Do a little research.

Yeah, I’m a geek … but I stand by this one. The sex toy market is huge! There are so many different products that work in different ways and toys made out of different materials. Hell, there are even some totally unsafe toys out there, so it helps to learn a bit before you buy.

Check online for awesome tutorials that will help teach you a thing or two about the wide world of sex toys.

3. Buy lube, too. 

Just do it. Trust me here. You should probably have some anyway.

With most toys, you can use most any kind of lube. Traditional wisdom says you can’t use silicone lube with silicone toys but we now know that if both items are actually silicone you can. If you are concerned, do a patch test on an inconspicuous part of the toy first.

4. Experiment. 

Once you’ve found your toy (or toys) try some stuff out!

Vibrators can be used during foreplay and intercourse! Dildos and butt plugs can add an extra dimension to penetrative play. Sensation and impact toys … well, SO many options there!

Try some stuff and see what works best for you.

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5. Have fun!

I know, so much talking and studying and trying things and stuff ... It sounds like work but we are talking about toys after all!

So, come on! Play!

JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, and researcher who has been writing about sex, mental health, vibrators and how none of us are broken on her award-winning site, The Redhead Bedhead, since 2012. She is currently working on her first book, "The Monster Under The Bed: Sex, Depression, And The Conversations We Aren't Having."

This article was originally published at The RedHead Bedhead. Reprinted with permission from the author.