4 Things Guys Hate About Your Sex Toys — And How To Change His Mind

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sex toys in the bedroom

Toys are for boys, too!

Men and talking aren't always the best of friends.

I mean, it's a cliché and it isn't fair. And it's definitely a byproduct of the toxic way boys are taught about what it means to be a man,

But it's also a cliché for a reason: For some men, talking about hot-button issues like sex, love, and feelings is about as appealing as covering your body in angry bees and about as easy as brain surgery with your eyes closed.

That's why I was nervous about asking some of the men I know about sex toys. To be specific, I wanted to get the skinny on what it is about sex toys for women that turn men off in the bedroom. 

It took me a pretty long time to find dudes who were even willing to admit that they were down to clown with sex toys in the bedroom. But that's not because all men are totally fine with their woman busting out a big black dildo in the middle of their passionate sex-making. It's because I happen to surround myself with pretty hip dudes who are comfortable in their sexuality. In case you are wondering if I am bragging let be assure you, I 100% am. 

Rest assured, even in my circle of sexually with-it fellows I managed to find a few who, like many other men, do not like the idea of their partner bringing in sex toys to the bedroom. Thankfully, they know enough about human sexuality to be ashamed of their personal preference (I'm kidding ... kind of) and as such, I have promised to keep their identities a secret. 

Gentle teasing aside, hearing from REAL men about why bringing sex toys into the bedroom turns them off can give us all a great sense of how to tackle the topic of sex toys in our bedroom (and our own vaginas) with our partner a little bit more deftly. Let's break down dudes' hang-ups and get you one step closer to wrapping a We-Vibe 4 Plus around your dude's D mid-coitus. 

Take it away, grumpy gentlemen ... 

1. "I'll be real. I just have no clue how to incorporate them. My ex really wanted me to use toys with her, and it was never not awkward to try. And awkward is just not sexy."

Here's the deal, sex is inherently awkward. It just is. We all get better at it as we go along (I mean, ideally) but nothing is ever going to change the way that balls slapping up against a lady-taint sounds or erase the cringe-worthiness of a prolonged queef. 

Human bodies, they are fucking weird.

Introducing sex toys into the mix can transform sex into an awkward and bumbling experience sure ... the first couple of times you try it.

But here's what's up: If you KEEP using the sex toys and if you make it a normal part of your sex life, it's like riding a very erotic bicycle.

Sex is a lot of different things, and while it's easy to get hung up on stuff like making sure every encounter is ripped from the pages of a romance novel, but that isn't what sex should be.

If your dude thinks it's too awkward to bring toys into the bedroom, it's time for him to re-evaluate all of the different things that sex can be.

Please, who care if it's a little bit awkward if you get past the awkwardness and have AMAZEBALLS sex?! 

2. "I am there having sex with her and giving her orgasms so toys are just pointless, imo."

I love it when guys get super-defensive about their ability to make their lady have an orgasm, it's great! Good for him for caring!

A man who takes pride in his ability to get his woman off is a true treasure to behold. 

But if your dude falls into this category, you are in luck: This is an easy sell.

Since he already knows how important getting you off is, he should be super keen to hear that bringing sex toys into the bedroom can make the orgasms you're having even BETTER

What's not to love about that?

3. "When I have sex, it's about connecting, and yes, orgasms too, but also connecting. Toys create a barrier to that." 

The only barrier sex toys create are the ones you erect in your mind.

Boom. Mic drop. Nailed it. 

But seriously, while this way of thinking is deeply romantic, it's also deeply flawed.

If "connection" is your goal and your partner has said that she would like to bring sex toys into your sex sessions then maybe SHE sees a value to it. 

In addition to just being a good partner who is up for meeting your partner's needs, sex toys can help a woman have an even MORE intense orgasm than ever before and don't you want to be a part of that? 

4. "I don't wanna sound like a dick, but it makes me feel shitty. It's an insult. How would she feel if I brought a blowup doll with me?" 

We all have our insecurities, and for some men, sex toys in the bedroom can feel like a direct insult. To those men, they don't see fun sexy vibrators, they see a woman saying "I find what you are offering sexually to be inadequate."

That is SO not women are thinking when we ask to bring sex toys into the bedroom. We're actually saying that you're so good at what you do in bed that we can't wait to see what you do when we try to take it to the next level. 

If your dude falls into this category (and in my mind, this is the big one), invite him to watch you masturbate, say how much hotter it is to cum when your eyes are locked with his. If he is into this, invite him again, only this time let him take the reins. When he sees that the toys are an addition and not a subtraction, he might start to understand what's so damn hot about it!