Pornhub Wants You To Dress Up Like Pandas & Have Sex — For Wildlife Conservation

Photo: WeHeartIt
panda porn

The site will donate $100 for every video uploaded.

What do giant pandas and porn have to do with each other?

A heck of a lot more than you might think. 

You might already know that pandas are one of the most vulnerable animals on the planet. Why? For a lot of reasons, chief among them the fact that they spend 98% of their time sleeping and that the females are only receptive to sex roughly days a year (we've all been there). 

As you can imagine, that passion for sleep makes any other sort of passion (namely, panda sex) pretty much a moot point.

But the pandas must keep bumping uglies (sex-wise) to make sure their species continues to live on, being lazy and eating bamboo, a food which does not have nutritional value, forever. 

One way the animal keepers encourage the pandas to have sex?



Yup, that's right. 

In addition to giving them Viagra and playing sweet, sweet tunes (you know Michael Bolton worked his way in there) scientists have been showing pandas video footage of themselves having sex to get them in the mood. 

Pandas, they are just like us! Dirty, dirty, lazy perverts. 

While the porn does get them in the mood, there's a problem: shockingly, there isn't a lot of footage of pandas having sex.

That's where Pornhub comes in. 

That's right, everyone's favorite (or maybe just mine?) major porn site is going to donate $100 to panda conservation groups for any "panda style" sex tapes uploaded to their site through April 16th.

What's a panda-style sex video? You. Another person. Panda suits. The sexual acts of your choosing. 

You guys there are already so many videos. I'd tell you to look, but you are probably at work, and dear lord, please do not get fired for watching people dressed in panda suits having sex, okay? Because it would partially be my fault and I don't think I'm emotionally equipped to handle that. 


I love pandas. I also love porn.

The fact that two things I love are coming together for good is basically all the excuse I need to call in sick and spend a day making a saucy panda tape all my own! 

I mean, not really.

My boyfriend is a very good sport when it comes to weird sex stuff, but I think even he would draw the line at me enthusiastically yelling "let's do it for the pandas" while he does me from behind, ya know?